A thought on Belonging

[SmokingBun]

It seems like anything when taken to an extreme without moderation can be bad for you. Even if it's something you normally need to live, like food. One can be gluttonous. It also seems like one can be overly fixated on belonging or fitting in. People will do crazy things to be accepted, ironically, treading into deviancy and coming full circle. We don't really have a word for this, do we? Why?

 

[Eryngium]

I sorta get what you're getting at but how does bad self control have anything to do with feeling socially pressured to fit in?

 

[MediocreMilt]

We don't really have a word for this, do we?

We do. It's called "virginity".

In the words of @Ron /pol/ , "Have sex".

 

[SmokingBun]

I sorta get what you're getting at but how does bad self control have anything to do with feeling socially pressured to fit in?

Because I'm thinking people can be addicted to the feeling of belonging. It would explain some of the weirder communities we see, like flat earthers. Perhaps it's less about being stupid and more about having people accept you. We all need to belong somewhere. It's a biological need if I recall correctly.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

They're called attention whores, newfag. Lurk moar.

 

[Otterly]

Neediness and in some cases codependency are the words for it.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

On one hand: Codependency and being willing to surrender one's individual will to the whims of a group are bad and indicative of serious fucking issues.
On the other: That's more or less exactly what has been drummed into kid's heads in at least the past 50 years if not more. CONFORM, COMPLY, SUBMIT AND OBEY. Nails that stick out get hammered. Don't make waves, don't rock the boat. Be docile, do as you're told and don't question it for a second or you'll get chased out. If you decide to be your own person by god you better have rich parents or you're in for a hell of a time.

Recently we've seen an explosion of "Be yourself! Be different!" shit that ironically behaves in exactly the same way as what it replaced. Are you LGBT? You had better fucking march in lockstep or you're going to get unpersoned. Are you black? Better represent the 'hood or you're just a fuckin' Oreo. Et cetera. They've managed to take these superficial expressions of individuality and use them to control people EVEN BETTER than the old system could. Authoritarianism is REMARKABLE in its adaptability.

 

[Lemmingwise]

People will do crazy things to be accepted, ironically,

People will do crazy things to be accepted, because we are a social animal for whom being rejected was a death sentence. Better to be stoic as they cut your dick, than to risk being thought of as a male that isn't brave. Better to submit to groupthink than to be alone.

The thing is that generally speaking it's smart to jump off a bridge when all your friends do it. The impulse at least, is the right one.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

People will do crazy things to be accepted, because we are a social animal for whom being rejected was a death sentence. Better to be stoic as they cut your dick, than to risk being thought of as a male that isn't brave. Better to submit to groupthink than to be alone.

The thing is that generally speaking it's smart to jump off a bridge when all your friends do it. The impulse at least, is the right one.

Counterpoint: We may be a social animal but we're pretty far removed from the days where rejection from a (relatively small) in-group was death. We achieve great things in groups but the most revolutionary things start when a single person takes a different tack. An individual can be a part of a group without surrendering themselves to that group, and any group that demands such surrender is probably one you should avoid.

 

[Lemmingwise]

We may be a social animal but we're pretty far removed from the days where rejection from a (relatively small) in-group was death. We achieve great things in groups but the most revolutionary things start when a single person takes a different tack. An individual can be a part of a group without surrendering themselves to that group, and any group that demands such surrender is probably one you should avoid

It may start that way, but it isn't a revolution until it reaches widespread adoption. And often the leader of that revolution wasn't the first to discover that truth, but simply the first that wasn't rejected for championing it.

I agree with what you say though in which groups one choose to associate with. The reason people warn against groupthink is because our impulse towards it is so strong.