Adoption

Depends on who the adoptive parents are, I suppose.
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Depends on who the adoptive parents are, I suppose.
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I wonder if they first adopted the children w/ the intention of doing this, hope they get raped in prison
 
It's hard to be adopted.

I know people who have been adopted in my family, and it's very hit and miss.

From my own experience, the older you adopt the kid, the more you will suffer.

I know two "brother and sister" adopted 4 years appart by the same parents.

  • One was adopted at birth, the oldest one. She's pursuing a great career, she's a clever woman with a stable life.
  • The other was adopted at 3 years old and spent years in the orphanage. He has a stunt growth (asian too, fuck his life) and always struggled. He pretty much does nothing but being a waiter here and there.

Adopted kids will almost never shake this feeling of abandon. But when it comes later in life, it just hits harder. And even when it does not, it's a terrible challenge to face.

Can you imagine your mother giving you up? Did she have other kids? Did she keep them? How would it have been if you lived with them? Why did they hate you? Why did they not care? Why? Why? Why?

I salute anyone who decides to adopt a kid. It could just as well be a great thing to do or a world of hurt.
 
The thing about adoption isn't adoption itself, it's the fact that the systems in place that essentially control adoption are fucked up and corrupt.

I'm speaking purely anecdotally, but back when I was still in HS in my last year of it, I spoke with one of the women who was more or less "yard duty" (or whatever you would call such a position in a school) and got to know her a bit better. I found out that she was a mother of over thirty children, all adopted, as she couldn't bear any biological children of her own. She loved the kids, she loved being a pillar in her community as a foster mother. All of that changed with a single child, a blue eyed, toe-headed boy. He came from a neglectful, abusive family like most in the system. Was taken in by said woman I'm speaking about, ended up in the arms of a loving person and safe home. The biological family fought the system, everyone was brought into family court, and the system successfully took this boy from safety and put him back with his fucked up family. He was dead less than a year later.

Said woman I'm speaking off effectively ended her relationship with the adoption system, and for years couldn't look at a blue eyed, toe-headed toddler ever the same again. That's usually why adoption has such a horrible stigma wrapped around it. Doesn't matter how many times an adoptive family proves themselves to the system, if a family absolutely wants to fight the system and get their child back despite all the bullshit that surrounds that family, they absolutely can, and more times out of not they WILL win in court due to the system believing that "families should stay together, no matter what."
 
Because then they can justify more abortions.

The basic argument they usually default to is "They have to get aborted, if they're born then their quality of life will be terrible!"
First off that just implicitly says it's not worth living if you're poor. Second off, the logical extreme of that kind of thinking would be the following:
 
It's hard to be adopted.
I know people who have been adopted in my family, and it's very hit and miss.
From my own experience, the older you adopt the kid, the more you will suffer.
Yes.
Its a complete hit or miss. Some people in my family are adopted and do extremely well, acclimate and assimilate well even if race is different. Others completely failed to form a bond, the relationship is strained and they job hop between entry level jobs or get into drugs/crime. Generally the ones adopted younger fared much better as they had more time to bond with their family.

Theres a few major hurdles:
- Feelings of abandonment: obvious issue there, can interfere with bonding
- Unable to fit in in social/community settings: 'Too black to be white but too white to be black' kinda scenarios adopted kids cannot find their group and belonging. Happens more if its a mixed-race adoption.
- Differences feel bigger: Anyone can be the odd one out in the family but if you're adopted any difference can feel bigger leading to strain and tension.

If the parents, child or situation fail, sometimes through no fault of their own, it can be really painful. On the inverse side, it can be one of the best experiences of your life. If you do adopt, Id advise therapy for the child as there will be hard moments to get through.
Generally you hear about adoption failures more than wins as successes will function like a normal, healthy family and blend in with everyone else.
 
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