And now deep thoughts...

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If I put the lotion in the basket, it probably means I'm at the department store getting my wife a last minute Valentine's Day gift.

If she puts the lotion in the basket, it probably means I used all her lotion for masturbating.
 
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Sometimes I read the newspaper on the toilet. I usually finish before I get to the obituaries. I wonder if Elvis did the same thing...
 
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