Annoying Co-Workers - Post about working with dipshit employees here (Horrorstories also welcomed)

[Colon capital V]

Thread's self-explanatory so I'll start.

Had to work with this one dipshit liberal for quite some time. He's pretty much everything annoying about a leftist you'd see on places like reddit or twitter, except I had to be in the same presence as him depending on our shifts. Self-hating white, unironically calling repubs fascists, probably supports communism all things considered. Really had the urge to tell him to shut the fuck up at times although I think my body language got him the message that I didn't like him. Thankfully I've since moved onto a different occupation that's slightly better than what I had to deal with before, at least I'm not in the presence of someone getting under my skin.

 

[PaleTay]

I've worked with a few creepy, borderline pedos.

Current workplace has people running to management about petty bullshit, and people not making small talk with them often enough.

 

[0 0]

One of my first jobs had a coworker who behaved like a background extra in everyone's life story. She would constantly show up either late or not at all. People were nonstop filling her shifts and she had an excuse each time. You couldn't rely on her for anything when she did show up, anyway. Asking for more copy paper, to fill out some report, to organize the space; everything you asked would be met with "I'm busy." Eventually people just stopped asking anything besides how she wasn't fired yet. The only thing she ever talked about was a tattoo she got, otherwise she would only respond to any matter of opinion with "I don't know." Nobody knew the first thing about her, other than her unseen "friend" needed help "moving" for almost two years according to her most common excuse.

A coworker threw a house party and she didn't even show up to that, even when she was invited and she said she'd show up. Yet for some reason when I threw an office party that same year, and keep in mind I planned it two weeks in advance, she got angry when nobody told her. The first time I had a two-sided conversation with her (and not from lack of trying) was when she asked why she wasn't invited after she didn't even show up that day. I told her you don't need an invite for an office party and she just responded with "whatever" and went back to doing nothing.

I nor anyone I know legitimately heard from her ever again.

 

[Colon capital V]

I've worked with a few creepy, borderline pedos.

Ah yeah in one of my previous jobs, I had worked with this fat old spanish guy who would say shit like "I love you, you are my king. You are great!" And at first I kinda just chalked it up to him not knowing english that well and he just wanted to express his respect to me but wasn't quite sure how to phrase it. But then things started getting creepier when he asked me about some personal stuff like my birthday, where I'd like to eat so he could "take me there" and when he asked me for my phone number was when I finally had to tell the manager about this shit. He stopped talking to me after that but it didn't take long for me leave all together and search for a new job.

 

[rel=alternate]

I have a lot to share on this topic, but it's really difficult for me to do so without sharing TMI. I'll try to be quite generic.

Three profiles that I hate (that I just modeled in my head according to people I had the misfortune of having to work under me) :

1. The overconfident/compensating looser
2. The retard
3. The pretend retard

The overconfident/compensating looser

Probably the worse of the bunch. They have not achieved anything in their career, at this office or at any other.

Yet, where they worked previously, they were used to "winning" by being overbearing. They were either (or both) surrounded by people who were very bad at their job, or who sucked their dick just so they would have to avoid their wrath.

Suddenly, when these people find themselves in an actually competitive environment, they completely loose it.

It starts to creep on them that they are not actually very good at what they do. And they really miss being the one eyed king among the blind.

They usually make things personal when confronted with their shortcomings, because that's the only out they have to save face. They also try and point blame to others on non-work related issues to deflect attention from their own performances.

Even worse, they will usually be the ones who hover around new people and look for weak ones. They crave control and admiration, and what better way to get this but to zone in on weaker people and shine.

This usually end up with them trying to build their own clan within the company, around themselves. Then try and start to take it over, only to end up fired or quit because of a bruised ego.

The retards

They mean well, but fuck they are stupid. They over explain the simple things (and waste your time), to compensate for the fact that they don't know shit. And you don't have the heart to tell them to shut up, because you know they are doing their best.

They are usually HR mistakes, and not renewed. But in rare cases, they stick around by doing what everybody else does not want to do (clean or restock the fridge, enter numbers in excel or whatever). And they always manage to fuck up everything they touch.

It's very tough on employees who have to rely on them, but have too weak of manager to just tell the retard that too much is too much.

The pretend retard

These are infuriating when you manage people. The people who are super lazy, don't care, and will always try and interpret what you say in the wrong way. Then act like you were not clear, when they clearly just tried to run an exploit on you.

• If you fix a target, they will stop as soon as they reach it.
• If you say that you need something by a specific date/time urgently, they will wait until the last second of the deadline and miss it.
• If you say that cigarette breaks should not take longer than 8 minutes, they'll do the full 8 minutes every time.
• if you say work ends at 5, they will be ready the minute the clock turns 5.

Worst of all these lazy motherfuckers have a great technique. When they don't actually feel like working, they will spend hours on doing something that you don't fucking need because "they thought it was helpful or would help them perform better".

 

[Iron Jaguar]

people not making small talk with them often enough.

I've had that accusation levelled at me. Like, WTF? I'm not here to be your friend.

if you say work ends at 5, they will be ready the minute the clock turns 5.

So? Do they get paid for working overtime? No? Then fuck off.

 

[rel=alternate]

So? Do they get paid for working overtime? No? Then fuck off.

Imo, this is such a terrible attitude. It only works when you work a job that can never lead you anywhere. And then, you can tell yourself it's because of the system or because you're black.

How do you think that people get paid more ? They bring in more money. You'll be 15 years in the same spot in the meantime. What a win.

If you understand something about how a business makes money, and you're not willing to give fucking 5 minutes to actually finish what you're being paid for, but would rather start packing your bags early, you can indeed go fuck yourself. You only get raises if you actually contribute to the growth of wealth, you're not paid to be there for 8 hours but to bring value.

And I am sure some employers abuse of this, but that does not make this statement less retarded in my view.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Imo, this is such a terrible attitude. It only works when you work a job that can never lead you anywhere. And then, you can tell yourself it's because of the system or because you're black.

How do you think that people get paid more ? They bring in more money. You'll be 15 years in the same spot in the meantime. What a win.

If you understand something about how a business makes money, and you're not willing to give fucking 5 minutes to actually finish what you're being paid for, but would rather start packing your bags early, you can indeed go fuck yourself. You only get raises if you actually contribute to the growth of wealth, you're not paid to be there for 8 hours but to bring value.

And I am sure some employers abuse of this, but that does not make this statement less retarded in my view.

I am an employer. Occasionally my jobs do run past normal working hours and my guys usually won't ask to be paid for that extra half hour because on other days when we finish early I still pay them for the entire day, so there's some give and take on both sides.
However, I never forget that it's my business, not theirs, and I never expect them to put the same effort into it as I do.
Any employer or manager who thinks their subordinates should be emotionally invested in the business is a fool and a narcissist.

 

[Daniel Wallace]

So? Do they get paid for working overtime? No? Then fuck off.

Time and a half, baybee.

I am an employer. Occasionally my jobs do run past normal working hours and my guys usually won't ask to be paid for that extra half hour

You hired some gullible idiots, good job. Imagine paying extra for extra work.

Anyways, to bring this thread back on topic; I don't know the exact story, but one of my coworkers was a supervisor, I think she quit and then was eventually rehired just as a regular employee. That won't stop her however from trying to order other employees around or telling others how to (incorrectly) do their jobs.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

You hired some gullible idiots, good job. Imagine paying extra for extra work.

I don't think you read my entire post.

 

[Smiling and Laughing]

It annoys me hearing my yellow fever co-worker talking about his half chink child constantly. Creating abominations is nothing to be proud of.

 

[rel=alternate]

I am an employer. Occasionally my jobs do run past normal working hours and my guys usually won't ask to be paid for that extra half hour because on other days when we finish early I still pay them for the entire day, so there's some give and take on both sides.

I'll give it to you, that's also the way I meant it. I did not mean that it would be somewhat a regular expectation. And I also think that this must obviously go both ways. I guess I got a bit worked up for nothing, my bad.

Any employer or manager who thinks their subordinates should be emotionally invested in the business is a fool and a narcissist.

Again, I agree 100%, although I have to admit it took me some time to fully accept. Especially at the hiring process, where I was always looking for someone who would want to stay and truly grow within. A good investment of sort.

In the end, it turns out that those that performed the best and stayed the longest are those who had other projects to motivate them to leave to begin with.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

Back at my old grocery stocking job, I had a black male coworker who found it amusing to try and sexually harass me when he could. Rubbing against me, trying to talk "seductive", turning his ass to me and (in the trying-too-hard-to-be-seductive voice) "hey OvercookedBacon, my boxcutter's stuck in my back pocket, would you get it for me~?" ...

Reported him to the manager. According to manager, he laughed in his face when he brought it up.

The down low fuck was fired soon after.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

One of the top rules of my job: No arguing with coworkers in front of clients. It's critical to present a united front in order to maintain authority.

Spoiler: coworker yells at me for ending an argument, re-starts argument, insists he did the right thing

I was a pretty new hire (working only about 8 months) when they re-hired someone who worked there years ago but mysteriously quit in bad circumstances. He was batshit crazy and didn't last long. The whole thing was bizarre. It was over a year ago.

Anyways, there was a minor disagreement among the clients (homeless men) at the tail end of dinnertime. I don't even remember what it was over, a missing cellphone charger or something. After dinner is the busiest time of day, when we have to shuffle everyone out and get chores done. So I tell both men, go put your dishes up, go walk your separate ways, and after chores, we'll talk through this and get both of your guy's sides. Deal? Deal. They left, completely cool.

I go back in the office and tell the new hire this. "I told them both to walk away and we'll handle it after chores."
He looked at me like a lunatic and went, "NO! We have to Handle This NOW!" and stormed out of the office. The men weren't even there, and so he CHASED THEM DOWN, to RE-START the conflict, and started yelling at the ENTIRE ROOM, "You people are filthy! Look at this floor!" and other completely unrelated complaints. He was completely in the face of both the clients and I physically put my hand on his shoulder because I was concerned he was going to punch or be punched if he got closer.

I said, "No, let's handle this after dinner."

And he said, in front of all the clients, "NO, YOU couldn't handle this, so I'M handling this!" Pointing in my face like an angry toddler.
Boy it took some self-restraint.
When we got back into the office, I said rather seriously, "I don't think you handled that correctly."
He looked at me and just said, "No, you're wrong. I had to do that."
I said, "You used too much force, you were yelling when there was no reason to yell. I put my hand on your shoulder because you looked like you were going to punch someone. I told you we would handle it after dinner, and you raised your voice against me in front of clients."
"Well you're just wrong and my way was right. You couldn't do it so I did it. I solved the problem." His argument was really that basic.

I had a good talk with my supervisor. Funnily enough, the new hire had been belligerently texting her that "bliblblblb couldn't handle this, so I had to go handle it! I'm so stressed! Ahhh!!!" This does not make you look competent.

It was a constant string of incidents like this until he quit once more, in even more mysterious circumstances- it was never fully relayed to me. The way he was communicating with his own bosses was apparently really unprofessional and bizarre. No shocker.

He had some sort of mental complex that lead him to start fights, but he was so warped he did not see them as fights...? I truly think he thought by my telling the two grown men "we'll civilly talk this out later, please go finish dinner" and letting them walk their separate ways, they were automatically going to go knife-fight in the back or something- so he had to hunt them down ASAP and force them to confess their (non-existent) evil plans, right then and there! Lest blood be on all our hands!
When he brought them back together and started yelling at them that they were both babies and why were they arguing, they did start to get angrier than they were before- and I think he used this sort of reaction (that he was causing) as proof that "look how wild and uncontrolled these people are!" And thus a mental complex is born. That makes one a horrible candidate for social work.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I almost missed this thread and was about to make another one, not good that if you search for its title, you could have different results with "coworkers" & "co-workers", so bumping it again. Hopefully it gets a bit more traction & more posts.
* * * * *

Anyways, do you people shittalk about other coworkers when they're not around, but compliment them when face-to-face?

That's kind of what I experienced recently. Thankfully I am not in a toxic place at all, but I was in the group during non-busy hours/time (it was me and a group of women) and they started the stereotypical harpy shittalk about some guy (working in the same place, but not around then), pretty much insulting and mocking him, not very hard but incredibly rude.

When he showed up right when they were talking about him, they literally shifted into "oh here you are, we were talking about how young you are" (which was complete bullshit).

Do you experience this at your workplace? This lame, cowardly backstabbing is so off-putting, because you know they do this with others as well, no matter how many fake smiles they throw around.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

For some reason EMS attracts cluster Bs like flies to shit. Variants of those cluster Bs include trannies. A couple ones I have to work with frequently:
- Kermit-voiced FTM midget that is the most passive-aggressive catty bitch I have ever encountered in my life. Nothing is directly "yes" or "no," it's just dramatic sighs and eyerolls and "well, god, I guess, if you want, whatever...jeez mutter mutter" in response to literally any question or work demand. Only topic of conversation is herself. Constantly shit talking random people for imagined slights and despite the larynx abnormalities kept the same female cadence and valley girl speech patterns so it's just some strange woman with a sore throat. Come to think of it, sounds exactly like hotwheels
- Buffalo Bill. He is a fat, greasy, sociopath whose pimply ass is continually on full display at every hospital we visit because he's too good for a belt. He can only discuss DND and MLP and he drags a pink fluffy MLP blanket to work every day. Obviously wants to fuck children and somehow is a parent. Genuinely laughs hard every time we get a pediatric trauma patient because children suffering brutal injuries and landing in the ER is funny to him. Also ordered HR to give him a giant "she/her" nametag, which he wears without even attempting a falsetto or shaving or changing his male name or anything. This dude scares the crap out of anyone who's trapped in the ambo with him and he has cold, dead fish eyes
Both of these insufferable niggers are passed around like the hot potato of partners and no one wants to be paired with them