Assign a superpower to every race - What will your race get?

[Miriam Margoyles]

OK, so hypothetically, you have to assign a single superpower to every race and then every person from that race will recieve that power, across the board. What do you choose? Would it make the world a better place?

For me, it looks a little something like this.

• Whites: Homelander-style laser eyes.
• Blacks: Superstrength based on rage, like The Hulk. I worry, however, that this might make them too powerful, so they can't use it all the time, they have to charge it up, like going super-saiyan (I feel that they would appreciate this stylistic choice).
• Mexicans: Can stretch, like Plastic Man or Mr. Fantastic. This would enable them to deliver cocaine by hand, as well as reach over border walls easily.
• Jews: Invisibility. Would help them evade anudder Shoah, and also enhance their ability to get up to (((business as usual))).
• Asians: Can create duplicates of themselves, ala Multiple Man, which would be a boon in the sweatshops.
• Pajeets: Can summon and control rats, like Ratcatcher.
• Native Americans: Transform into mighty hawk.
• Arabs: Can control and manipulate water. (Tee hee.)
• Aboriginals: Can phase through solid objects like Kitty Pryde, so they'll stop getting run over when they go to sleep in the middle of the road.
• Eskimos: Flight. No reason why, particularly, I just think it'd be funny to see a flying Eskimo. Maybe they could divebomb the seals, like peregrine falcons.

What about you guys?

 

[Skitarii]

Whites: can't dance

Blacks: ability to steal anything

Mexicans: can transform into drugs

Jews: long nose for sniffing

Asians: magic wok that they can pull any weapon out of

Pajeets: super pooper

Arabs: explosion powers

Aboriginals: can access the dreamtime but only when they sniff petrol

Eskimos: ability to purchase any of the above ability with indian gibs, but only if they convince the vendor that clubbing baby seals isn't wrong. The stolen ability only lasts for one hour, and will intensify during eclipses, but deminish when the whaling season is bad. If the user does not harvest enough clams, they may risk losing this power, and will have to drink gasoline to make up for it, but only between the hours of 6 AM and 11 PM, the traditional summer daylight hours for eskimos.

Bonus:

Gypsies: smell bad and get one of the above abilities for free

Filipinos: swag powers

Sami: can bite reindeer balls off with their teeth

Mixed race: gets a shitty version of each parent's ability

T*rks: die

 

[DOUBLE_WHEEL]

Filipino: omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Filipino: omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence.

View attachment 5874013

• Filipino: Ant-Man style shrinking powers, because none of them, even the men, are over 5'4''.

Also,

• Gypsies: Teleporters, obviously. Probably leaving a foul smelling odour behind whenever they do it, like Nightcrawler.

 

[Otis Mallebrok]

1) White: You have the power of autismo. You can create glorious civilizations that will eventually crumble as you retract into hedonism and fantasy. -1 skin cancer armour

2) Black: You have the power of mooching. You can live of the work of others. This power can be levelled up to shoplifting. -20 racial intelligence modifier.

3) Jew: You have the power of backstabbing. You can ingratiate yourself to your enemies while secretly undermining them. Racial perk: +2 attack against Arabs.

4) Pajeet: You have the power of defecation. You automatically pass saving throws against stink attacks. You can make floor's slippery while yourself enjoy maximum traction.

5) Pakistani. You have the power of gangrape. You can rape children openly and escape justice. For now....

6) Asian. You are a hivemind. You can sacrifice any individual goals to benefit the collective. You lack sexual dimorhism.

7) Abo: Aquired immunity to non polar solvents.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

I appreciate your contributions, @Otis Mallebrok. I was going for more of a 'comic book' style vibe and you've gone for a more 'Dungeons and Dragons rulebook' approach, but I like what you're doing.

 

[The Magnificence]

Miriam, I'll go with your ideas with one exception:

Blacks: Superstrength based on rage, like The Hulk. I worry, however, that this might make them too powerful, so they can't use it all the time, they have to charge it up, like going super-saiyan (I feel that they would appreciate this stylistic choice).

Let's say blacks do the opposite of hulking when they chimp out; instead, they shrink. Their resulting "super strength" is relative to their size. Imagine the hilarity that would ensue when LaQueefa, having been stopped for shoplifting, tries to huck a bottle of water at the cashier but can't lift it due to having shrunk to the size of the black Christmas 2012 Barbie Doll still sitting in the clearance aisle at Walmart today...

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Let's say blacks do the opposite of hulking when they chimp out; instead, they shrink.

It would certainly help with our overcrowded prisons.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Blacks have the superpower of spicing they chickin

 

[Belisarius Cawl]

Blacks have the superpower of spicing they chickin

...with dish detergent



Washing chicken isn't just a meme ... NASTAY

 

[Punished Puck]

White women: affinity for dogs

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

the chinese get magneto powers but it only works with something they made

 

[Targeted Individual]

• Whites: Vril control (like how Dragon Ball characters use Ki)
• Niggers: Explosive punches (like the GTA V cheat code)
• Jews: Mind control, but they need to feed on the blood of the innocent to keep their powers (like vampires)
• Asians: 影分身の術
• Pajeets: Projectile shit (like the projectile vomit from The Exorcist or Image Comics' Heavy Flo and projectile menstruation)
• Native Americans: shapeshifting (like the Wendigo)
• Arabs: Self-explosion

 

[Morch Ponkey]

Latinos already have one. They can blend in with other races like Philippinos or Natives. They are daywalkers.