Biometric opioid vending machine unveiled in Vancouver

[mx. yuk]

Article
Finally doing something useful with biometric technology!


CrunkLord420 has hijacked this OP, get rekt.

If you're going to post news articles, do not quote the whole article. It's damaging to the site's SEO and the reason the A&H got made hidden to public viewing. Link, archive, title is fine. I guess you could use the summary text as well but it's preferable if you could write your own summary blurb for what you think is most relevant.

Crunk's awesome summary of original content:
Vancouver has decided to treat drug usage as a public health issue and start giving away free opiates via a vending machine situated right out of a cop shop in what is already effectively an open air drug market. This is the same city has successfully brought down it's staggeringly high infectious disease rate down by opening the world's first safe injection site.

Get fucked narcs.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

That fucking machine is gonna get mugged like a liberal white college chick at a BLM march.

 

[FunPosting101]

The countdown to some random tweaker showing up with a crowbar or a club to bash the thing open with starts right now.

 

[Queen Elizabeth II]

This is a brilliant idea and won't at all be a new supply for dealers to tap into.

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

this can only get so much worse! WHERE DOES IT STOP.

 

[Coldgrip]

Canada deserves the misery and crime this will bring.

 

[Pissmaster]

The countdown to some random tweaker showing up with a crowbar or a club to bash the thing open with starts right now.

I'm sure it already happened while you were typing that up

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Give me a hand truck, a hard hat, a fake ‘opioid machine repairman’ ID card, and some orange safety vests. I’ll have it for you before dark.

 

[Ineedahero]

Give me a hand truck, a hard hat, a fake ‘opioid machine repair’ ID card, and some orange safety vests. I’ll have it for you before dark.

Do you also have the requisite skin colour or first nations heritage? Because you probably don't need any of that other stuff if you do.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Do you also have the requisite skin colour or first nations heritage? Because you probably don't need any of that other stuff if you do.

Right. Add yellow paint to the list then.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Oh man between this and all the Chinese who have taken up root there, you now have the perfect storm for an Opium Wars sequel.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

I'm reminded of that scene in Futurama with the crack vending machines

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

They talk about this as if the junkies won't just be supplementing their drug supply with this as opposed to replacing it.

 

[pwnest injun]

I'm reminded of that scene in Futurama with the crack vending machines

Or the suicide booths.

 

[CWCissey]

OH IIIIIIIIIIIIT'S SUUUUUUUUUUCH A PERFECT DAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

[TowinKarz]

That fucking machine is gonna get mugged like a liberal white college chick at a BLM march.

Biometric or 10 good swings with a sledgehammer, whichever comes first....

Imagine the outcry if something else the politicians say causes thousands of deaths a year came in unregulated vending machine form?

Gun vending machines? SHOCK! HORROR!

Narcotic vending machines? STUNNING! BRAVE!

 

[Spl00gies]

They talk about this as if the junkies won't just be supplementing their drug supply with this as opposed to replacing it.

This, but also if the junkies are used to fentanyl, they could sell their pure pills or cut them with w/e to supplement their usual habit. Madness.

 

[ln18]

Biometric dilala today, biometric supermarket tomorrow?

 

[WarJams]

Can we get a count going until one addict start cutting off hands to scan into the machines?

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

I honestly believe that drugs should be legal but homelessness should be treated as a public nuisance. Also, any petty crimes committed in order for junkies to get their fix should be punished harshly along with any injuries or deaths caused by negligence while high. Vancouver has basically given up on prosecuting drug users anyways, might as well make it official.