Careercow Caelyn Ellis - Chaotic Asexual Amazonian Lesbian

[VenomPlug]

Caelyn is a "Hardcore lady-type who writes about nerd stuff" and like the title says: a chaotic asexual lesbian.

Spoiler

In reality she's a welfare leech hoping to make a career/living off her crappy vidya reviews and articles. Perfect material for a Patreon account? Check!

https://www.patreon.com/Caelyn?ty=h

So her goals are pretty much "give me money so I can buy myself nice things". Standard case of shameless e-begging, but there's more! Our hardcore-lady type suffers from anxiety, fears and phobias. Ah, and she goes under "Valkyrie von Fukface" on Twitter. Pretty telling.

"I've struggled with mental health problems for a long time, exacerbated by gender dysphoria"

Even something as simple as facial hair removal is beyond...wait a second, facial hair? Transgender? Check!

"I'm transgender and it's been over two and a half years since I legally changed my name and socially transitioned"

Spoiler: Body Shaming

Name change and social transition.... sounds familiar. Caelyn is also into suicide. I hate myself and I want to die? Check!

Spoiler: Crawlin' in My Skin

Pretty fucked up so far, but maybe her reviews are good? Umm no they are not. Just few quotes from her Fallout 4 review: "It’s easy to be disappointed by the outrageous heteronormativity of Fallout 4’s first hour", " you are firmly trapped in a saccharine retro-future suburban cliche.", " I’m pretty sure that it’s the first AAA game to feature a trans woman who isn’t designed to be a joke". WTF is this shit, and that's just the beginning of her review. I couldn't force myself to read it all.
At this point you might ask yourself: how does a Chaotic Amazonian Lesbian look like in the wild? Well, check for yourself:

Spoiler: Amazon Gurl

That's Caelyn wearing her wargear, she also likes to post "hot ladies wearing Skyrim armors" pics. She's pretty active on Twitter, lots of random nonsense and "meme lolz" but if you dig deep enough you might find some gems:

Spoiler: Horrifying

Spoiler: Plz give me attention

Sources:
https://twitter.com/CaelynEllis
https://storify.com/CaelynEllis/exhaustion-and-trans-suicide
https://www.facebook.com/caelyn.ellis
https://www.instagram.com/caelyn.ellis/

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Asexual AND lesbian? How does that work?

Oh I forgot, it's a Tumblrite. Never mind.

 

[Curt Sibling]

A high-level warrior indeed!

 

[Super Collie]

Patreon milestones/goals are meant for you to talk about the types of work you can accomplish with X number of dollars, but of course this fucking leech uses them to denote "Minimum Wage" and all that.

 

[Overcast]

So are these people truly suffering gender dysphoria or whatever weird labels they give themselves? Or are they just hopping on the Tumblr bandwagons because they have nothing interesting about them and want to feel special?

Because honestly, if I was feeling insecure about my gender or sexuality, I wouldn't be whining about it on Twitter or begging for cash.

 

[SlaveMaster5000]

So are these people truly suffering gender dysphoria or whatever weird labels they give themselves? Or are they just hopping on the Tumblr bandwagons because they have nothing interesting about them and want to feel special?

Because honestly, if I was feeling insecure about my gender or sexuality, I wouldn't be whining about it on Twitter or begging for cash.

The more I read about people with these traits (general dysphoria, e-begging and sticking with the LGBT-ish SJW community), the more I think these are signals of them having more worrying issues concerning their self-esteem. Most of these people stick with certain labels believing they will protect them from criticism. At this point is obvious to state this, but a person with a healthy self-esteem wouldn't do this.

Just look at that tweet that reads "I'm a terrible, selfish person", it strikes me more like a freudian slip than an attempt to gain asspats. Even if it was an attempt at gaining asspats, you know people do shit according to multiple factors.

 

[Coldgrip]

Spoiler: She reminds me of someone

 

[VenomPlug]

Spoiler: She reminds me of someone

Separated at birth? Also, Love Quest Alert:

 

[Fiddleford]

Isn't Patreon for people who, like, make content on a consistent basis? She should just make a gofundme.
Also, lol her wishlist

Spoiler: more than meets the eye

 

[Sanshain]

Spoiler: She reminds me of someone

Dare I even ask who that is?

 

[Argonian Scum]

I saw "Amazonian Lesbian" and was hoping for lady bodybuilders and/or martial artists. I am deeply disappointed.

 

[Coldgrip]

Dare I even ask who that is?

A typical brony.

 

[Constable Grant]

I'm surprised the OP doesn't say anything about her tumblr that the patreon will apparently fund.

One of the posts declares that every weekday she will post a piece of content that has at least five hundred words in it. It isn't that much tbh but expecting to fart out a well-thought out article in an hour at that length is moronic.

Unsurprisingly she wasn't able to keep up. There's a two day gap between the the first two articles after that announcement was made (And I checked, the 25th is a weekday). Her last post was made on the 1st of December and hasn't made another since. In total, she missed 38 days and counting.

Didn't have the drive, I guess.

EDIT: Archive link

 

[BlossomPoop]

Damn guys look how chaotic she is.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Damn guys look how chaotic she is.

Chautismal would be a better term for that.

 

[Mecha-Lenin]

"It’s easy to be disappointed by the outrageous heteronormativity of Fallout 4’s first hour"

I mean... sure... we always want more diversity in our media. But the first thing I think about if I want to buy and play a game is NOT "Is it too heteronormative?"

 

[Fiddleford]

I'd venture a guess that's her excuse for everything.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

I'm not gonna judge anyone for how they live their life but if she's trying to pass as a woman, she should probably drop Starting Strength from her workout routine because she's clearly working to get shoulders that broad.

 

[Silvana]

Patreon milestones/goals are meant for you to talk about the types of work you can accomplish with X number of dollars, but of course this fucking leech uses them to denote "Minimum Wage" and all that.

You notice how the bar for this is continually dropping?

Typical Patreon c. 2014: If I hit X milestone, I will be able to produce X content.
Current typical Patreon: If I hit X milestone, I will be able to afford Optimus Prime, Hot Rod, Megatron...

So are these people truly suffering gender dysphoria or whatever weird labels they give themselves? Or are they just hopping on the Tumblr bandwagons because they have nothing interesting about them and want to feel special?

Because honestly, if I was feeling insecure about my gender or sexuality, I wouldn't be whining about it on Twitter or begging for cash.

"Some trannies are spergs, but not all spergs are trannies..."

Really, it depends on the individual. I'm inclined to believe this delicate flower is genuinely transgendered - but other than the tranny shit, she's basically boring. Also, like the entirely of tumblr, she's got a strong sense of self-entitlement - and she's never learned the meaning of the word "discretion". Hence the Patreon.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy a good, long, private yell about that damn Amazon wishlist.

 

[Dr. Joel Fleischman]

I was going to tell this bitch to stop whining and have some goddamn dignity, but then I remembered that dignity is an invention of the cishet patriarchy used to keep asexual lesbians quiet and enthrall. So checkmate Caelyn! I'm off to order you a Gulden Draak Belgian Beer gift pack you beautiful oppressed creature.!