I just had a thought, If people really consider YBZ or EVS to be such lolcows on here, why not make them their own threads?
This subject has come up every so often over the years. After plenty of discussion, I think the consensus is that the reason we have a catch-all CG thread and not individual threads for the prominent CG figures is they're just not fucking interesting or (more importantly) retarded enough to sustain a thread on their own.
Yes, CG has plenty of grifters, faggots, whores, retards, drunks, degenerates, psychos, and fruitcakes. That's never been in doubt. The question is whether or not they do shit that will make us laugh on a regular basis. That is why they're called "
lolcows". While a lot of people involved exhibit characteristics of lolcows, none of them are very consistent.
Sure, Ethan and Zack have their genuine cow moments, but they seem to be so few and far between that threads for them individually would likely die on the vine. Every year or two you'll get something like Zack's porno or Ethan licking a urinal but what else is there? Do we really need two threads apart from this one to talk about Ethan's late books or Zack's horrible taste in media? Seems redundant, uninteresting and, most of all,
not funny.
With rare exceptions (like streaming himself licking toilets and smoking crack) Ethan keeps his online life pretty boring. Even his Eric July obsession has gone stale. It was kind of amusing for a little while and now it's just pathetic. Late books and Trashcast are all Ethan has now and that's just not enough to carry a thread.
Richard, on the other hand, is admittedly
more of a potential cow than Ethan. He checks
a lot of lolcow boxes. But the fatal flaw in Richard's hypothetical bovinity is the fact that he (unlike most good cows) has a sliver of self-awareness. He knows he is easy to anger and prone to screaming about stupid shit. That's the only reason anyone knows who he is in the first place. His self-awareness kicked in years ago and he eventually removed the slightest possibility of directly engaging with anyone online. Speaking only for myself, the essence of what makes a good lolcow isn't just how weird or retarded they are, it's in the way they interact with the world around them. If a cow doesn't interact, how can it be milked?
I'm not saying he'll never do anything threadworthy down the road. It's entirely possible he'll shoot somebody in the Whataburger drive-thru during breakfast hours over a missing taco sauce packet. Or we'll find out he was filmed in a San Francisco porta-potty getting railed by dudes who look exactly like Eric July. Hell, he could troon out! I wouldn't be surprised at anything at this point, but I have to wonder: If the porn thing didn't merit a thread (it didn't even get this thread featured), what will?
This thread is 8 years old. There has been ample opportunity for Ethan and Richard to get their own threads but it never happened for whatever reasons. But, in my opinion, the time for individual threads has long passed. Zack's best shot at one was probably in 2018, arguably the peak of his cow powers. 2026 Zack is a boring, middle-aged closet fag with bad pop culture takes and gay normie libtard politics. A dime a dozen in this Year of our Lord.
I mean yes they are both part of comicsgate, HOWEVER I'm sure people would want to know more about them both as well as how mentally unhinged they both are with their own threads.
Don't overestimate the appeal of this stuff. CG is a niche corner of independent comics, which is a niche corner of comics, which is a niche corner of entertainment.
Nobody gives a fuck about this shit except aspies like us.
And I just want to emphasize that lolcow threads are
not just about how unhinged somebody is. Good lolcow threads are about
content.
If Liam can get his own thread on here, I don't see why they can't.
Because Liam reliably does dumb shit we can laugh at. He begs, he chimps, he suicide baits. Liam is a sex pest, an internet tough guy, and a paranoid sperg who believes in multiple grand conspiracies against him. Liam is an adequate lolcow. For fuck's sake,
the man just streamed from inside a chicken coop because he's hiding from his wife. Think about how outrageous and retarded Liam is in relation to EVS and Zack. Now consider that Liam's thread has been around since 2020 and is but 18 pages.
Well there's still time to make a Ethan van sciver thread on here. He at least has enough relevance for people to care about.
I'm gonna have to disagree with your assessment of EVS' relevance. Nobody cares about Ethan. He's just entered the "no refunds" stage of the crowdfunding grift and his IGG comments are peppered with accusations of theft and threats of legal action. There may be some content in the near future if he gets sued and/or kicked off IGG, which will be fun to watch, but would it carry a thread? Maybe, maybe not. Unless he gets Rackets to represent him.
Plus there's a lot more dirt you can find on him, then there is about YBZ, and by far too. At least that's what I've seen so far.
Again, it's not about finding dirt so much as it's about documenting Ethan/Zack doing retarded shit. Content.
If the dirt is a security cam video of Uncle E sucking trucker cocks behind a Little Caesar's, that is funny and wonderful and poetic.
If the dirt is a file showing Ethan having unpaid traffic tickets, that's a bit interesting but not so funny.
I honestly hope the new year brings us something that could sustain threads for Ethan and Zack because that would mean something
extraordinary happened. But for right now, Ethan and Zack (thus CG) are fucking boring and starting a thread for them at this stage (absent some insane new development) seems kind of pointless.
