(0:01) Hi everyone, it's your boy Zach. So, it's funny, I was talking to a friend and I was like, I think I'm (0:07) out of ideas. I mean, I had that Kelly Thompson video I was talking about for like a month, (0:12) I just did that.
I go, all my video ideas are just about different types of fans that I hate. (0:21) And then, like, right after that, I got an awesome idea, the freaking thumbnail. The (0:27) is so good.
It's AI, obviously. Then I was like, I can't do it today. I gotta wait till tomorrow.
(0:33) I want to be up. I want to be freshly rested. I want it to be cool out.
I don't want to be (0:3
distracted by muggy weather or bugs. Like, it's, you're gonna see. You're gonna see.
You're like, (0:44) oh my god. But anyway, I unsubscribed from Perch's channel yesterday and it was because of the (0:53) viewer, I think, I think he labels them like viewer commentary. I never really paid any (0:59) attention.
It would just autoplay every day, you know. It would usually be like the first (1:04) suggestion I watched every single day for, I don't know, five, six, seven years. And I just, (1:10) I just couldn't take it.
Every single one, well not every single one, but I would say the majority (1:14) of them are viewer commentary. For those who are long time viewers of his channel, correct me if (1:22) I'm wrong, but like back in the day, it was a lot of like reacting to the news and reacting to (1:27) controversies and giving his take. It seems to me like four out of five videos are pure commentaries (1:34) and it's just him responding to emails from old men.
It just always comes down to, isn't this bad (1:41) Perch? Just say it's bad. And he will give his take. And then you'll get follow-ups.
Like if (1:47) he doesn't say something's bad enough, a week later, it'll be like the same subject with another (1:52) old man saying, but it's bad, right? Like if you look at it this way, it's, but we get it, we get (1:56) it. Everything's bad. It's 2017 and everything's terrible.
You can't adjust it. Okay, we've covered (2:02) that. But so I unsubscribed and then, you know, it still got recommended because I've been watching (2:11) it for seven years or whatever.
And so I ignore it. And then I'm out working in the yard and (2:20) it starts autoplaying. The video from today that I didn't want to watch because it's a viewer (2:25) commentary and it's, you know, I'm all covered in mud.
So it's like, it just starts playing. (2:32) And I got like three minutes in. It was basically the end of him reading the email.
I was like, I (2:3
got it. I don't want to have to click don't recommend this channel because I'm still going to (2:42) listen anytime he's not responding to an email because they're just all shit. But one of the (2:49) things he was talking about, it was a question about Mary Jane as Venom.
And when she was Mary (2:54) Jane as Venom, she had a male appearance. Now I haven't read the book, but logic will dictate (3:02) that it was supposed to be a surprise this Mary Jane. She was trying to throw off the scent and (3:07) things like that.
I looked at the most recent, um, uh, issue probably was actually pretty good. (3:13) And the stories seemed kind of cool. So I'll probably check it out.
Um, oh, wait, what if (3:17) this Vulcan is trying to kill me? Um, but anyway, at one point he was kind of, you know, mentioning (3:24) that like he answers a lot of Spider-Man questions. And if you're an actual fan of his show, you know, (3:31) he's not a Spider-Man guy. He's an X-Men guy.
He has like every single X-Men, apparently, (3:3
including like the spinoffs ever. And I believe he does like, I don't know if he does every cover (3:44) because now they have like 70 variant covers. I think he's got at least one of every issue.
(3:53) And, you know, he's saying, he's like, I keep getting these Spider-Man questions. (3:57) And he, he wasn't sure why. And I, you know, I was like a horse shack from welcome back, back (4:04) Connor.
I was like, Oh, I know this question. It's because Spider-Man is the easiest character to (4:09) fake being a fan of like, even Eric July couldn't screw this up because of the popularity of the (4:16) movies. There's been what, uh, eight movies so far.
I mean, you got live action TV show in the (4:24) seventies, you got cartoons in the eighties and nineties and a bunch of them for the last 26 (4:29) years. Um, there is nobody out there who's going to trip over basic Spider-Man lore. So it's really (4:3
easy to say, Oh, I'm a big Spider-Man fan.
And I'm so offended that they changed this thing that (4:43) happens. And then they always, the thing, the thing that differentiates this from every other video (4:50) complaining about old men. The funny thing is they all look at Peter Parker.
Like that's so me. (4:54) It's like Peter is 50 balding, has a Leonidas beard and complains about Disney princess movies (5:02) for a living. It's like looking into a mirror.
Um, but, um, or as a hobby, it's not less pathetic (5:13) when it's a hobby, it's just probably less of your time. Actually, it's probably as much of your (5:1
time. Um, cause it's, you don't have to prepare to do a five hour live stream, complain about (5:24) Disney wanting to kill you.
You just riff on whatever happened that day. But he did this thing (5:30) and I need a name for it. Cause I like names for things, you know, like they have the Holdo maneuver (5:35) in a star Wars.
It's this gambit, this, this maneuver that these sad old men do where they (5:43) always say, I will, sometimes they say consider, sometimes they, they really, you know, (5:50) sweeten the pot by saying, I will read comics again if this happens. And then there's always, (5:55) it's always, if a happens, I will read comics again. As long as B doesn't happen.
Um, now (6:05) up until a couple like months ago, they would always say like, I'll consider it. (6:10) Then they kind of, I think they realized, you know, that consider sounds pretty weak. Like (6:14) nobody's going to start doing something because you say, I might consider you have to like, (6:1
they want influence, but they, they don't want what they want because they've gotten what they (6:23) want and they didn't buy it as much as they, you know, caterwalled about ultimate Spider-Man having (6:30) Mary Jane and Peter back together.
And they had a family, the sales didn't double or triple (6:39) or quadruple or go back to the sales they were, you know, 20, 30 years ago. They just did pretty (6:45) good for a while. Um, so yeah, so this is a short video.
I just, I just want to plant the seed (6:52) in your head, um, to watch because they do this a lot. They're like, like I say, these guys want (7:00) to be wined and dined. Um, they want to be wined and dined by a corporation while bragging that (7:06) haven't read the comics in five, 10, 20, or 30 years.
I believe I, I dipped into a, I dipped into (7:13) a live stream a week or so ago. Pretty sure one guy was like bragging about not reading since like (7:19) 1996. I think it was like the clone saga.
Like you're going to brag. You haven't, you're, you (7:27) are a non-customer for 30 years and you want them to listen to you. Um, but yeah, so just look at (7:32) that and maybe give me a name for this maneuver.
I mean, the old man maneuver is too vague, but it's (7:3
always like, I will read comics again if A happens, as long as, as you know, as long as B doesn't (7:45) always happen. Almost forgot to explain what the video title means. So one phrase to look out for (7:54) because they use it all the time is the phrase missed opportunity.
Because the implication along (8:02) with saying missed opportunity is saying like, Hey, I just want y'all to do good. You know? Yeah, (8:10) sure. I've held five funerals for you.
And yes, I do celebrate everything bad happening to you. (8:15) And yes, I do deny or ignore successes, but Hey, do you remember when I used to buy your comics in (8:22) 1995? I just want things to be good again. So missed opportunity is always used because it's (8:29) like, Oh, you know, Oh, leaving money on the table.
That's another huge one. That's another huge one. (8:35) They say it's like, Oh, you know, if you had John Byrne, Oh, you're leaving money on the table by (8:39) not bringing John Byrne back to the X-Men.
Yeah, no, he's Chris Claremont has come back to the X-Men. (8:47) His sales are okay. He's on like a new mini series like every three months.
No, these are (8:53) these are fake fans being super duper fake. Thanks for watching.
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