Bodybuilding, early fame, and heavy repression of gayness. I think he might be chasing the ego death as it was probably transcendental to him finally accepting himself and others with flaws and all. Self medicating with DMT through Ayuhasca is insane though.
Coming down must be a nightmare for him having to face reality again. SSRI's are also probably exacerbating everything if he's taking any. I wonder if in his deep psychosis some wires crossed and instead of taking protein every two hours he inadvertently thinks Ayuhasca is protein and ended up in some insane feedback loop.
His support structure must be pretty weak since it took a kind stranger to mobilize getting him help.
Drinking your urine, eating your feces, and eating cum "for health benefits" is not ok.
Here's the full tantric jackoff tutorial, of which @Scarlett Johansson posted an extract earlier in the thread. A pretty generic example of the schizoporn genre, complete with rambling, weird body movements and that utterly insane look in his eyes.
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Here's the full tantric jackoff tutorial, of which @Scarlett Johansson posted an extract earlier in the thread. A pretty generic example of the schizoporn genre, complete with rambling, weird body movements and that utterly insane look in his eyes.
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
It seems reasonable that if he took some drug daily it could have induced a psychotic break. Even wake-and-bake (i.e. being constantly high on cannabis) can send the right person crazy. The likelihood of a break is compounded with whatever toxic eastern/mexican spirituality this guy is chugging on with his cum, let alone tripping on heavier psychedelics like DMT, plant alkaloids, LSD, etc.
I know two people, one firsthand and the other secondhand, who went crazy from smoking too much cannabis too often
Ayahuasca is supposed to be taken once in your life and it's supposed to be an event approved by a Shaman who prepares the Ayahuasca for safe consumption.
To be fair I took acid before a first date once and the girl didn't notice at all. We went out for several months after and when I told her I was tripping the first time we hung out she said she had no idea. Certain people can handle stuff like it's nothing. Although this dude in the end obviously couldn't.
I dated a girl for months and only saw her high. Met her at a pub and laughed about it years later and she had no clue. She’s a bit of a party girl so presumably she’s smoked it since then. You see similar things with adults rarely putting the dots together about the drug or alcohol use which they were witness to as children.
The steroids acted as a gateway drug. His regular use of steroids to sculpt his physical body normalised the regular consumption of psychotropic drugs as a means to sculpt his mental or spiritual body. Obviously it doesn’t have any physiological connection.
Seems to me the guy grew his third eye and realized how fake and gay his life is, imagine being dragged off to the loony bin for that. He's never coming back
Made an account after seeing Connor on the front page. This guy has a lot going on that we can potentially learn a lot from. The link between psychedelics and mental breakdowns is a minor interest of mine. I also know of some Connor lore that doesn't seem to have been posted yet. This is going to be a long post so i'll put it behind spoilers to not fill your screen.
The common idea that they 'make you crazy' or whatever doesn't hold because not everyone who takes them gets their mind blended, but they're clearly doing something that makes a certain kind of person collapse. I think Connor's case is a good one to study because so much information about him is available and he gave us a running inside look into his thoughts and feelings after taking the drug.
I've never taken ayahuasca but a professional psych turned writer/blogger/vlogger that i like has experience with it and has thoughts on the drug which i think perfectly explain what happened to Connor:
Gist of this thinking is the popular old school (70s-ish era) psychology idea that everyone is operating on some level of normopathy and repression of authentic feelings to stay functional and 'sane' and that what ayahuasca and other hardcore experiences can do is shake your mental/emotional defenses down. This opens you up to greater sensitivity and vitality by exposing you to more of yourself, but nobody represses/suppresses for no reason. As a general rule we're all living as fully and authentically as we can bear, and the danger of ayahuasca is that a sensitive person who has taken an emotional beating from life and buried it behind a wall of deliberately and/or unconsciously cultivated insensitivity and inauthenticity can have it all knocked down in a moment, then they get hit with potentially a lifetime worth of horrible and traumatic sensation which they cut off behind an internal dam of normopathy/narcissism. I think that other drugs with psychedelic or hallucinogenic properties are also doing this to some extent, and that this is why some people develop schizophrenic personalities in response to weaker substances like marijuana. Weaker drug but also perhaps weaker defenses and/or stronger buried sensations.
Why i think that this is important is that by tracing this thought back in Connor's life we can find meaning behind his actions, and by looking for the truth to Connor's life we might also find more of the truth in our own.. He isn't the way he is because he's a stupid gay retard, those are just adjectives. I think he's a sensitive person who has had a mostly miserable life since the very start and that all of his observable and notable adult behaviours have been responses to this early pain.
I don't have the full picture but what i do know about his early life and family life sounds very bad. He's mentioned bullies in school, he's mentioned feeling awkward and unpopular, generally not respected, a suicide attempt from his sister, and a feeling that there was no joy in his life and that in particular his parents were somehow responsible for this. He's not lucid enough now to give us an organised and coherent factual account of his past, but the emotional truth is always there. If he feels like his life was absolutely horrible it was, even if the horribleness has left him too scrambled to identify exactly why or how. I don't know how they were in detail but if both (or at least two) of your children become suicidal hardcore neurotics you have fucked up and are running an awful dysfunctional family. Connor obviously grew up hideously insecure, no sense that he's good enough or worthy of love or respect, not from his school environment (because all schools are awful for this) or home, and in response to this he developed his first serious emotional defense posture, bodybuilding and socialmaxxing.
By putting all of his desperation and sensitivity into these pursuits he was able to get pretty damn good, millions of youtube views, could probably fuck 99% of the planet if he wanted to, a go-to example of how mogging works. But anybody who has studied the issue or even just paid attention to the world can tell you you can't cure insecurity by acquiring some finite amount of stuff, you only feel good as long as your numbers are continuing to go up. If your own body is the source of security/mental-wellbeing/narcissistic-supply you hit a wall pretty quick. An old video about his fitness progression suggests Connor decided to "push through" his natural wall very young, like maybe around 20 or younger. But even with roids entropy wins and connor realised this. baldness was coming for him and his body could only decline from its increasingly hard to maintain peak. Nobody wants to look at a bald deflated retard and connor's not that stupid, he can see where older men go for respect. If he can't be the most physically impressive he'll start transitioning into becoming the wisest.
Nobody itt has mentioned Frank Yang yet, he's a vital part of the Connor story and the one who really convinced him that kooky /fit/-adjacent wiseman was something that could work.
Yang could almost have his own thread but he's less interesting. Rich family, he just fucks around lifting weights and traveling to retreats with random whores he meets on social media and having a new existential crisis, dark night of the soul or spiritual awakening every other week.
He's actually kind of interesting as an amateur filmmaker. Does it despite fairly mediocre viewcounts for this circle, to some extent he's genuinely having fun and expressing himself through these stupid affected quirky guru short-films. Look at the thumbnails on his channel, clearly inspired Murphy's turn.
Back to Murphy, i swear i'm nearly done, Murphy built this defense against bad feeling in the form of being physically amazing and having stupid california trash be in awe of him on camera, but it starts to crack when he starts to physically decay. He decides his numbers aren't done going up, now he's going to dump stat points into WISDOM, but not actually being very wise, he has no idea how to do this and takes advice from popular culture and Frank Yang. Of course we all now know he decided to take ayahuasca in south america, and this exposed him to more worldly truth and insight than he could handle. The ayahuasca he took DESTROYED what was left of his old relied upon defenses against the accumulated emotional pain of his life, filling him with the raw hurt of a mistreated childhood, a bullied and rejected adolescence, and an unfulfilled and uncertain adult life all at once.
The shock of this clearly threw him off balance to the point he's totally disregulated on every level, he's accidentally inflicted an emotional disembowelment upon himself and is now scrambling to hide from his own feelings and build new defenses. The spiritual fortress of /fit/ self-improvement culture and pick-up mindset has been levelled, now he's living in a mud-and-stick palisade of self-aware grandiosity and clownishness.
What i'm trying to get across with this post is that Connor's actions make sense if viewed as those of a victim of awful circumstances trying desperately to defend himself against the pain of his own honest feelings about his life. There's a bit of this in all of us and Connor Murphy's story is something we can potentially learn quite a lot from. I think it'd be a horrible waste for this thread to devolve into 200 pages of "lmao what's this gay retard doing next?".
If any of this doesn't add up or seems wrong/stupid let me know. I'm always looking to test these ideas. My motivation here is to try to make sense of connor so we can do more than laugh and scratch our heads at him.
You are on target and this is why psychedelics can be pretty dangerous for some people, it’s hard to predict who will melt down and who will have a positive experience.
I think the other big factor with Connor was constantly viewing his own image. Think how much time Connor spends looking at himself, editing videos, filming, etc... It’s not healthy but esp not for a guy like him.
I have a theory that all the “selfies” and recording ourselves going on is pretty bad for the human psyche or at least not something we are evolved to deal with. For thousands of years humans were reflected in the eyes of others or water. Mirrors were invented but even then that meant minimal time looking at themselves. Sitting looking in a mirror gets boring pretty fast. We are built to visually observe others, not ourselves, but that’s to camera phones, YT, SM, etc.. we are suddenly spending massive amounts of time looking at ourselves. Narcissism makes for miserable people.
Given Connor’s obvious image and psychological issues having a career that hinged on looking at himself most of the day was very bad. He was obviously very distraught his acting career went nowhere too and took at as a judgement. The drugs then just max turbo charged and unleashed the insanity brewing within.
I think it’s very interesting to watch how he distorted and fucked with images of himself in the videos during the last stages of his meltdown.
Yeah I've been seeing some negative comments about Jane Conquest here and in the general chat. Tbh I don't know much about her, and she could be a turbo clout chaser - no clue. But in this case concerning Connor she acted in the best possible way imo. You can boo me but I'm right.
From Jane's perspective, she thought she was meeting some pretty well known Youtuber and he was flirty with her. (It seems they share a mutual friend) She sees how weirdly edited the video is and starts digging into his life. As far as she knows, he's just in a hard period in his life and not full blown psychotic. He tells everyone they're engaged while she has no idea what's going on. After trying to help clean this stranger's apartment she starts realizing how deep this problem is. She wakes up to everyone calling her a slut and prostitute for "just getting engaged to Connor after knowing eachother less than a month" which was Connor's fuck up. Instead of pulling out a camera and getting those sweet drama clicks she helped this stranger at her own risk. She recorded some of these convos, but I would too. People are calling her a slut and manipulative, meanwhile there's a psycho body builder who could crush her head with his ass cheeks. We all like to think we'd be that good person who would help some rando, but she actually spent a lot of her time helping him recover some money, deal with the fucking cops and legal system to get this guy committed. We don't know where Connor would have been if she didn't meet him at the right time, man could of been dead and we wouldn't be dunking on the cum chalice
She also was dealing with an auto insurance claim and a friend who died at the same time. If this chick wants to make a video explaining her side then she deserves it.
Fellas find yourself a woman like that, these people are rare.
Jane was genuinely trying to help Conner. Her experience with him will probably make her more cautious in the future but I’m not sure why anyone would criticize this girl when it was obvious there was no one around Conner doing anything to try and stop a very obvious dangerous downward spiral into total psychosis and dangerous behavior. At least she decided to try and do something.
All that said she obviously was helping him because she thought he was a cute guy that was in distress. Jane isn’t picking schizos living under bridges to help out like this. She could see Conner had a history of success on YT so I think she felt here was a guy with a lot of potential on the verge of killing himself if no one intervened, so she decided too.
She’s still got that sweet, naive optimistic veneer of youth that society quickly strips away during your 20’s, if not much sooner. People are basically criticizing her motives for giving a damn about someone who was a ver obvious danger to himself and in real trouble.
I love how his big brained fans are like: JuSt TiE hIM tO tHa BeD. Morons watch too many fucking movies.
He is lucky to have met that girl when he did. Sad though seems like his Sister is a bit off her rocker and his parents seem to not be so active in his life.
Wonder if they will be doing diagnostics on his brain to see if there is any damage. I mean he has to be in the small percentile to have abused this drug.
How long can they hold him in? Hopefully they can get him off the stuff l, but if he can walk out before anything can be done for him. Well he'll be right back on the stuff.
@HiramTheGrift he was on a random H3 episode as well, probably should be added to the OP. Certainly very few here are fans of Ethan's but it may have contributed to his rise to fame and subsequent rapid recession (ayooooo). It was years ago that he was featured on the channel but 5 months ago he posted a response during a manic episode where he implied that he is God almighty and professed his love for mister-keep-it-up-great-job.
He's very lucky that somebody who barely knew him at least appeared to care for his well-being to such an extent. For whatever reason she did it for, she did a good thing.
I am in awe of dude's dosing schedule. Gobbling ayahuasca as quickly as your body can absorb it is a pretty interesting approach to dealing with the vagaries of life.
Pretty face, but just another case of psychedelicide. I have known people who reached their full potential as schizos with the aid of psychedelics, like a naturally talented athlete taking steroids.
He got it all wrong drinking his bros cum. Drinking it doesn't process the nutrients properly. He should inject his bros cum and see what benefits he gets from it.
I must say just watching the first 30 secs of each the videos in the OP in sequence had me choking with laughter. Thank god he follows some tarded YT advice to hit with an attention getting opening sentence, because it made for a pitch perfect timeline, esp when we entered piss and cum drinking territory.
As others have said, Ayahuasca isn’t the main reason he went bonkers - it was just the jet fuel for his underlying mental illness. He’s either severely bipolar or schizophrenic and the Ayahuasca turbo charged it. Psychedelics and underlying mental illness are no bueno, muy muy mal. Heroin would have been a better choice for him than fucking Ayahuasca given his brain chemistry.
I admire how he gravitated to the worst drug he could possibly do, given his mental health and brain chemistry. I also appreciate how he rejects tradition, and thousands of years of ayahuasca practice and insight, in favor of doing things his own way. Ayahuasca supposed to be a sacred, once in a life time kinda deal? Gay, eat it all day every day bro. Dude has the ability to do serious damage to himself, and seems hell bent on doing so. Right on.
@HiramTheGrift he was on a random H3 episode as well, probably should be added to the OP. Certainly very few here are fans of Ethan's but it may have contributed to his rise to fame and subsequent rapid recession (ayooooo). It was years ago that he was featured on the channel but 5 months ago he posted a response during a manic episode where he implied that he is God almighty and professed his love for mister-keep-it-up-great-job.
The earlier incident I posted he literally told the cops the H3H3 runs a child porn sex ring. He then went on to tell his discord
about the CP. and frequently tried to get in contact with keemstar saying that H3H3 has child porn. Ethan Klein really helped Conner boost his career. So, in his melted cosmic brain I’m sure he has a fixation on Ethan because of this. Featured below Conner trying to tell keem on instragram about ethans child porn collection lmfao.
This genre of /fit/cow is fascinating to me, and when you're connected to the broader bodybuilding subculture (especially at the level of those with pro aspirations), you'll see that Conor's state of mind is just a hop, a skip and a jump past where most of these guys are 24/7.
The extent to which bodybuilders cherish, nurture and encourage body dysmorphia is incredible, where they lose any sense of reference to what "ideal" looks like. Looking at the classic division of any recent bodybuilding competition that should be enough to convince anyone that these guys are not well.
I actually know a guy who was prepping to compete for his pro card a year and a half ago, got into DMT and psychedelics, and has since decided to become a Qanon-based neo-Christian trance music producer. He wasn't terribly bright to begin with but he's hard to hold a conversation with now, just nonstop pseudospiritual babble.
I'll echo what earlier posters have mentioned about the narcissistic obsession with looking at oneself along with an unstable sense of identity helping to set the stage for some of this. Point being, I don't think Conor is an outlier so much as a natural progression path for a solid number of young, fitness-obsessed guys like him. Not saying he didn't have underlying issues already, but I don't think his story is as uncommon as one would hope.
Conner also in an manic moment playing god gave out his number on social media for people to contact him. Saying he would help them ect.... a lot of people contacted him and he promptly gave out THEIR number on social media as well. He then told a girl begging for cash because of mother was dying of cancer - that she needed to stop eating.
