Viv
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2021
Before i say anything, please dont spam me with hate. Im not delusional and just want to have a discussion. thanks.
Im 18, male, and have crippling gender dysphoria and every mental illness that comes because of it. for the past 4 years ive had problems functioning and barely doing anything. I cant even look at myself without wanting to rip my skin off. I have panic attacks daily and my hair is falling in clumps. Im completely useless and have no energy to do anything. I cant even begin to describe how awful i feel in my body and ive felt this way for years. i would do anything to me okay with being a man but i cant. and the other option is impossible.
There is absolutely no point in Transitioning. Ive thought about it, really wanted to do it but it would be useless. I’m 6’4, extemely masculine with the face of a sicilian mafioso. Staying a male would me a nightmare but transitioning is not the light at the end of the tunnel as it is for some people. No amount of surgeries could do anything for me. Noone talks about the depressed and suicidal trannies that transition and are still miserable. Btw, i live in eastern europe so ill have to move across the continent to transition. i would look disgusting and ridiculous. there is no way i can have a decent and fulfilling life.
Regardless, before i turn into something worse than this, something more disgusting than this, i want to end it. no miracle could help. It maybe sounds dramatic but it really isnt. Someone who doesnt experience this is going to say im a pussy and a narcissist but the pain is unbearable. I want to keep the little dignity i have and end it. I know that this only gets worse with age. I know 30 year olds who feel the same way as i do. Im looking at a lifetime of suffering.
What should i do? I wanted to wait because i dont want to destroy my mothers life because she loves me but i give up. Whats the easiest method? Should i wait a little longer ?
I chose this site because i hope people can be honest. but please dont be unnecessarily evil towards me. Its not like you can bully me more that i do myself
.
I was thinking of writing a note to my mother today to explain to her why im going to do it.
Im 18, male, and have crippling gender dysphoria and every mental illness that comes because of it. for the past 4 years ive had problems functioning and barely doing anything. I cant even look at myself without wanting to rip my skin off. I have panic attacks daily and my hair is falling in clumps. Im completely useless and have no energy to do anything. I cant even begin to describe how awful i feel in my body and ive felt this way for years. i would do anything to me okay with being a man but i cant. and the other option is impossible.
There is absolutely no point in Transitioning. Ive thought about it, really wanted to do it but it would be useless. I’m 6’4, extemely masculine with the face of a sicilian mafioso. Staying a male would me a nightmare but transitioning is not the light at the end of the tunnel as it is for some people. No amount of surgeries could do anything for me. Noone talks about the depressed and suicidal trannies that transition and are still miserable. Btw, i live in eastern europe so ill have to move across the continent to transition. i would look disgusting and ridiculous. there is no way i can have a decent and fulfilling life.
Regardless, before i turn into something worse than this, something more disgusting than this, i want to end it. no miracle could help. It maybe sounds dramatic but it really isnt. Someone who doesnt experience this is going to say im a pussy and a narcissist but the pain is unbearable. I want to keep the little dignity i have and end it. I know that this only gets worse with age. I know 30 year olds who feel the same way as i do. Im looking at a lifetime of suffering.
What should i do? I wanted to wait because i dont want to destroy my mothers life because she loves me but i give up. Whats the easiest method? Should i wait a little longer ?
I chose this site because i hope people can be honest. but please dont be unnecessarily evil towards me. Its not like you can bully me more that i do myself
.I was thinking of writing a note to my mother today to explain to her why im going to do it.
