Crowdfunding: Enabling Grassroots Idiocy

[Splendid]

Alright, this thread is about a group of people who aren't your average lolcows. Instead of the usual transsexual autistic SJW MRA fans of kid's cartoons, we're talking about slightly more functional people: crowdfunders. As many of you are aware, most crowdfunding projects are dumb. However, some are so monumentally dumb that their creators and their projects deserve to be memorialized in a Kiwi Farms thread. There are a shit ton of bad campaigns out there, and most of them fall into one of a few categories:
Note: I'm providing links instead of images in my OP to keep things down to a reasonable size.
Wildly overambitious:
Let's start with the first category, people who have their hearts in the right place, but don't really know what they're doing.

• Pay me $100 dollars so that I can mention you on my website while I try to illegally mass produce a laptop PS4. (No, really, that's the only pledge level.)
• My app will cure autism!
• Watch me fail to compete with Amazon reviews! (Actual quote from the page: "Now I'm studing IT at university so I have some time to dedicate at this project. ")
  
• An app to get the loveshies laid. It's literally called Wingman, and it's only for "hopeless romantics" and is "not for people who are looking for a short time fling." Also, it's literally designed to "get [you] out of the friendzone."
• A genuine attempt to build a fully functional X-Wing. By the looks of it, this guy is serious, and thinks he really can do this. He's already raised $1,010.
• I have fewer than 2000 youtube subscribers, but believe that my show streams in 118,000,000 homes globally.
• $0.00 pledged out of $100,000,000.000 goal.

Scams:
All of these look like they're probably scams to me, because they're usually asking for a lot of money for something that doesn't cost much money at all, or they're asking for very little money for something that costs a lot.

• Give me $108,000 to host my yoga videos on the internet. Note: She got funded!
• The $12,000 social network. Choice quotes: "[So far we've] formed a Queer POC led futurist technology collective.", " [and] stablished a preliminary rubric for anti-oppression on the web: 'how a web-application must be structured to be less HARMful and oppressive.' We'll be publishing it soon." [emphasis in original] You read that right, it's an SJW run ad-free social network with no visible method of sustaining itself.
• Give me $40k to sell Christian t-shirts.
• Give us money for this project so that we can spend the profit on something else. No, seriously, they literally admit that they just want 50 grand to fuck around with unrelated electronics further down on the page.
• Give me $500, and maybe I'll think about writing something for my project instead of just leaving up the indiegogo template text.
• $30 for anti-Seaworld postcards

Dumb Ideas:
Some ideas are dumb.

• Donald Trump leggings
• "I am Black. The media is painting Mr. Trump as a racist, my documentary is about a difficult video project I did for him in 2007 #Trump"
• A fedora you can wear 365 days a year.
• And accessories to go with it!
• Soap for your balls.
• I will make a podcast where I review every episode of Saved by the Bell.
• What Antartica needs is more vaginas.
• I don't even understand this shit.
• Fund my Women of Supernatural convention guys!
• I'm making a very, very thin condom that's designed to be impossible to see. There's no way this will cause unwanted pregnancies!
• Let's continue to teach an obsolete skill to children.
• I need to make an Oculus Rift version of Burning Man

Special Standouts:
Make 1% profits a day with my software. No chance this is a scam!
The Harry Potter Alliance. You know, those guys who did all of this:

• compelled Warner Bros. to commit to Fair Trade or UTZ certified cocoa for all Harry Potter brand chocolate products.
• raised over 250,000 books for schools and communities across the world.
• sent five cargo planes full of essential supplies to Haiti in the wake of the 2010 earthquake.
• shifted the cultural narrative surrounding the Hunger Games from fictional love triangles to real-world economic inequality.
• developed community guidelines for a more positive online and real-world fandom.
• fostered a community of over 20,000 YouTube creators and fans and led them in the fight for net neutrality and internet freedom.
• spurred a substantial dialogue about the importance of fan works in the cultural zeitgeist.
• built a worldwide network of 250 chapters, who are working to solve all forms of inequality across six continents and in 30 countries.

I need money to patent my wooden box.
And I need money to make a $50 cup.

Note: It's probably better to keep discussion of kickstarters and patreons run by preexisting lolcows in their own threads.

 

[melty]

wow, you found some really good ones. And they get funding!! I can't believe it.
The cosplay community is full of this, from cosplayers asking for money for boob jobs, to asking for money for conventions they can't afford to go to, to asking for money for cosplays they're going to make anyway. Here's my favorite bizarre one, give me money so I can fly my dog to an anime convention:

 

[niggers]

why am i not abusing this

 

[Cosmos]

It never ceases to amaze me how many people donate to shit like this. There really is a sucker born every minute.

 

[QI 541]

Better get in on this get-rich-quick scheme soon before the government decides to bust it.

 

[Holdek]

A bail fund for six white tards who used inner tubes to disrupt an historical reenactment of the founding of the first city in what is now the continental US half a millennium ago.



(https://www.everribbon.com/ribbon/view/22383)

Other protesters took to the water. To the chagrin of haughty actors dressed in shiny hats and other aristocratic regalia, protesters held signs and chanted from kayaks, canoes, and pool floaties in the water surrounding the rowboat and forcing the boat back several times and finally reaching land with reenactors only under heavy police boat escort. More picketers disrupted the opening countdown ceremonies. They delivered messages like “celebrating 450 is celebrating genocide,” “heal the past,” “no honor no pride” and “conquest is not discovery.”

Police officers singled out and arrested four canoers participating in the water protest. On land, officers arrested two other people who interrupted a procession of dignitaries and escorted away others who called attention to the grotesque nature of the festivities.

Protester Libelula commented: “Today’s demonstrations seek to unmask St Augustine’s romanticized version of conquest as a vile glorification of the horrific and heinous acts committed against the original people’s of this territory by the Spanish Conquistadors. I’m from an indigenous background and celebrations like this one are not only offensive but also attempt to erase indigenous people’s suffering. This makes our demands for emancipation and dignity invisible. This is a blatant celebration the murder, rape, and torture of the original peoples of Turtle Island. It’s important to not let this go unchallenged.”

Spoiler: Photo

(http://earthfirstjournal.org/newswi...arrested-during-anti-colonial-demonstrations/)

Funny how the photo of these people were at the top of the article while the one of the actual Indians was at the bottom, but anyway.

Can you imagine taking your kids to view this historical display and instead having it ruined by these dumb, ungroomed hippies?:

Spoiler: Gross

 

[Splendid]

Give me money so that I can make the Yuri News Network.
Your one stop on the net for reviews and opinions on lesbian anime.

 

[Ruin]

Give me money so that I can make the Yuri News Network.
Your one stop on the net for reviews and opinions on lesbian anime.

$400/month to talk about lesbians. You can almost hear Andrew Dobson having a heart attack.

 

[Quijibo69]

Anything on any Kickstarter type site is a scam to begin with... but a idiot is born every day.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Anyone familiar with Red Ash? It was this crowdfunded game on Kickstarter by Keiji Inafune, the guy behind the other Kickstarter project Mighty No. 9 and the one behind the original Mega Man game.

The full story was covered by Jim Sterling. I'll embed the video below for anyone who wants to take a listen (and thank god for him).

For people who don't feel like watching a ten minute video, here are the cliffnotes:

Keiji Inafune, as said above, was the guy originally behind Mega Man. He went indie a while back and presented the game Mighty No. 9 on Kickstarter, which was basically the classic Mega Man.

Before the Kickstarter for the above game was finished, Inafune presented Red Ash: The Indelible Legend, which was heavily inspired by Megaman Legends. He also presented a Kickstarter for a Red Ash anime. No, seriously.

As Red Ash was nearing the end of its run without getting close to its goal, Inafune announced that a Chinese company had already backed Red Ash's full development costs, and that all the money that was raised already for Red Ash would go toward "Kickstarter goals."

Basically, it's shady as fuck and everyone flipped their shit when apparently Red Ash didn't even need to be crowdfunded.

 

[Splendid]

Anything on any Kickstarter type site is a scam to begin with... but a idiot is born every day.

Nah, there are legit kickstarters, but it's absolutely true that the majority are dumb.

 

[Gensdupays]

Anyone have the full story on how Tim Schafer completely fucked everyone who Kickstarted that adventure game over?

And the less said about the Ouya in general, the better.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

A fedora you can wear 365 days a year.

That would be an amazing accomplishment because currently you can't wear a fedora even one day of the year

 

[Ravenor]

You know I am conflicted about kickstarter, it's a great place to get start up funds if your a small team with real goals (I know a few wonders) but it's also open to abuse (potato salad anyone), then again unless it's a outright scam it's just like any other startup company that thinks what the world needs is a inflatable dartboard, 95% of businesses fail before they have even gotten off the ground an the rest range wildly in terms of life span an success.

I'm glad the option is open for crowd funding (really glad), but I also wish KS would police it's submissions a little better.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Let's continue to teach an obsolete skill to children.

I see no problem with this.
We do need to bring back cursive

 

[autisticdragonkin]

• I don't even understand this shit.

This just seems like a campaign to promote recognition that women born after 1945 are great and die later and get an unfair advantage due to feminism and giving money to this person will make this recognition occur due to this website

 

[GH 356]

Yourkickstartersucks on Tumblr does a good job of showing off some really stupid projects and has helped in exposing some scams in the past. It hasn't been too active recently, though.

This couple with six kids who started a fundraiser to adopt one (now two, apparently) Ethiopian child stands out to me.

Anyone have the full story on how Tim Schafer completely fucked everyone who Kickstarted that adventure game over?

And the less said about the Ouya in general, the better.

This is one of the articles I can find. Is that what you're talking about? I didn't really follow it back when it was all going on.

 

[Holdek]

You know I am conflicted about kickstarter, it's a great place to get start up funds if your a small team with real goals (I know a few wonders) but it's also open to abuse (potato salad anyone), then again unless it's a outright scam it's just like any other startup company that thinks what the world needs is a inflatable dartboard, 95% of businesses fail before they have even gotten off the ground an the rest range wildly in terms of life span an success.

I'm glad the option is open for crowd funding (really glad), but I also wish KS would police it's submissions a little better.

They are mostly scams, at least at the higher donation levels. They want you to invest in their product idea but you don't get any of the profit if it succeeds, yet you assume all the risk if it doesn't. Pretty sweet deal.

 

[Ravenor]

They are mostly scams, at least at the higher donation levels. They want you to invest in their product idea but you don't get any of the profit if it succeeds, yet you assume all the risk if it doesn't. Pretty sweet deal.

If it's not funded you don't pay, if it is funded but not completed you still can get your money back with the current rules. I will say though that all business is a risk, even low level fund a product stuff like this, you win some you loose some you just need to be smart where you put your money.

I have backed a few recently all are funded and are well on the way to completion, the Basics Notebook is one I have hopes for.

 

[DavidFerrie]

A bail fund for six white tards who used inner tubes to disrupt an historical reenactment of the founding of the first city in what is now the continental US half a millennium ago.

View attachment 47939

(https://www.everribbon.com/ribbon/view/22383)

Spoiler: Photo

(http://earthfirstjournal.org/newswi...arrested-during-anti-colonial-demonstrations/)

Funny how the photo of these people were at the top of the article while the one of the actual Indians was at the bottom, but anyway.

Can you imagine taking your kids to view this historical display and instead having it ruined by these dumb, ungroomed hippies?:

View attachment 47937 View attachment 47938

Isn't the whole point of civil disobedience, to get arrested on behalf of a cause?

If these creeps didn't have bail money and attorneys lined up in advance of this action, they deserve maximum jail time. There are legitimate uses of tactics like this; whining about something that happened centuries ago because you've got unresolved Daddy Issues and a buttload of attention-whoring narcissism, ain't one of them.