Elden Ring

[Lizard Machine Bugs]

-The Three Fingers are right. The Frenzied Flame and the Greater Will are both mindless dipshits, the Dark Side of the Force (Three Fingers) and the rest of the Force (Two Fingers), with the Greater Will being the equivalent of a poorly-optimized Game of Life program spinning off and clumping up in some corner of the map. You could say "we should have known this was the case due to a hand normally having five fingers", but shut the fuck up about that. This feels like the reveal in Runescape that life only exists because one of the original Gods was retarded and refused to put away her toys. The Greater Will makes things, sticks two fingers and a bug into the world's pussy, and immediately fucks off afterwards.

For the subject of the Three and Two Fingers, the Three Fingers are still wrong. Their argument is literally, about how since pain and suffering exist that all existence should end.
Their quest is pretty clear about that and even their demons like Shabriri and Haeta are clear, they want to end all life forever and destroy the Erdtree which is the embodiment of all life, everywhere.
Also spoilers for the Finger quest but, the Two Fingers aren't creations of the Greater Will, they and the Fingercreepers are the children of Metyr who is in turn a child of the greater will and the first star to fall upon the lands between. The dialogue from the Finger quest implies the golden order and Marika were rotten from conception, for Marika the only suspicous Neuman/Shaman couple we have are Midra and his wife Nanaya so they might be her parents. From the Fleeting Microcosm and Staff of the Great Beyond we learn that the universe of Elden ring is called the Microcosm, literally a "small cosmos" and that the greater will exists beyond that, and that Metyr their mother doesn't represent the Greater Will anymore, and it's either left altogether or just given up on Metyr.
Additionally, from the Two Fingers gesture near the Shaman Village and Marila living close to the Finger Ruins, it's likely that she made contact with Metyr and was probably working with her, which tracks as the the last Fire Giant is guarded by Metyr's children and so is Ranni, who was being raised to replace Marika, by the "Greater Will," but if the Greater Will gave up on Metyr it's likely Marika was just blowing smoke up peoples asses about the Two Fingers working for it when in reality they were answering to Metyr and her.
Ymir the Finger quest giver even says the Fingers guided her.
But as is implied by Metyr not being the mother of the Three Fingers, it's likely the Three Fingers aren't even her children or are just Two Fingers warped by frenzy, so it doesn't seem to be dualistic situation, the Greater Will just left his computer on and the Frenzied Flame wants to blow it up and end all life.

 

[Wendell X]

Spinning gravity thrust is fucking nasty. I've been away from the game for most of the week and maybe this is known but I think it's the only AoW you can rip off a boss weapon. Slap that bad boy on a bleeding colossal weapon with the normal bleed/skill trinkets and watch it shred.

What weapon did you put it on? I whacked it on the troll golden with bleed and cleaned the clock of that fucking ulcerated spirit in the church district, but I feel like I can do better.

the Finger quest

I just did this - is this another instance which people consider woke infection? Count Ymir is obviously a dude, but he wants to get pregnant and become a mother (to fingercreepers and his dead son?) and a dude obsessing about getting pregnant in sheer defiance of nature is very current year. But much like craves-dickella, it just upped the horror for me. Seeing the dude sitting on his throne cradling and cooing to a fingercreeper he named after his dead kid was creepy as hell. Also speaking of cradling, I didn't want to fight metyr, I wanted the hugs I was promised! I used o mother when I entered the area, but I still had to drop her.

 

[Asian tech support]

What weapon did you put it on? I whacked it on the troll golden with bleed and cleaned the clock of that fucking ulcerated spirit in the church district, but I feel like I can do better.

Regular greatsword (it's my favorite weapon). When fully buffed, it slapped the mother of fingers with 2 full AoW uses.

Edit: I know at this point it's a meme to slap Malenia around but also it kills her in a matter of seconds.

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

What weapon did you put it on? I whacked it on the troll golden with bleed and cleaned the clock of that fucking ulcerated spirit in the church district, but I feel like I can do better.


I just did this - is this another instance which people consider woke infection? Count Ymir is obviously a dude, but he wants to get pregnant and become a mother (to fingercreepers and his dead son?) and a dude obsessing about getting pregnant in sheer defiance of nature is very current year. But much like craves-dickella, it just upped the horror for me. Seeing the dude sitting on his throne cradling and cooing to a fingercreeper he named after his dead kid was creepy as hell. Also speaking of cradling, I didn't want to fight metyr, I wanted the hugs I was promised! I used o mother when I entered the area, but I still had to drop her.

I don't know how anyone takes anything from the DLC as woke. Every time these sorts of things are shown in Elden Ring, it's shown as horrific, unnatural, and evil.

 

[Lizard Machine Bugs]

What weapon did you put it on? I whacked it on the troll golden with bleed and cleaned the clock of that fucking ulcerated spirit in the church district, but I feel like I can do better.


I just did this - is this another instance which people consider woke infection? Count Ymir is obviously a dude, but he wants to get pregnant and become a mother (to fingercreepers and his dead son?) and a dude obsessing about getting pregnant in sheer defiance of nature is very current year. But much like craves-dickella, it just upped the horror for me. Seeing the dude sitting on his throne cradling and cooing to a fingercreeper he named after his dead kid was creepy as hell. Also speaking of cradling, I didn't want to fight metyr, I wanted the hugs I was promised! I used o mother when I entered the area, but I still had to drop her.

Maybe, but he's probably too obviously evil, when I first saw him I thought he was evil without him even opening his mouth and all the messages around him talked about betrayal..

 

[Asian tech support]

Which one of you nerds is using double giant crushers and died to the tree spirit in the haligtree? I see your bloodstain and I'm using the multiplayer password kiwi, so there's a good chance it's one of you.

 

[Foxxo]

I don't know how anyone takes anything from the DLC as woke. Every time these sorts of things are shown in Elden Ring, it's shown as horrific, unnatural, and evil.

I mean, the game wants you to forgive Miquella...

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

I mean, the game wants you to forgive Miquella...

By killing him.

 

[Tablet County]

we learn that the universe of Elden ring is called the Microcosm, literally a "small cosmos"

Actually I think the use of "microcosm" in this case is a flowery way of describing a singularity/black hole.

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

Actually I think the use of "microcosm" in this case is a flowery way of describing a singularity/black hole.

Whatever it is, it's pretty neat you get a better version of it than the boss's small ones. That spell is massive and casts surprisingly fast.

 

[M3xus]

I love how there's now three versions of Radahn's swords, with the only difference between them being their L2. Could have at least let us pull a Lothric and Lorian's sword and let us combine them into one.

 

[Evil Peter Griffin]

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Why is reddit always everyone's explanation for why something is bloated and self-indulgent? It feels like such an internet-brained answer.
Is it too much to accept that From has always had a tendency to be overambitious, and now that they have a lot of money and are extremely popular and everybody's sucking their collective dick they feel emboldened by the flame of ambition that putting out something mediocre won't sink them? Is reddit in the room with us right now?

Reddit is just a faster way to say it is done for the lowest common denominator, with it no longer being sex but psuedo-intellecutalism and "rule of cool" (as sex has now apperantly no longer allowed on media).

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

Why do lords of frenzy walk with an exaggerated swagger of a draconian youth?

 

[Tepes Thot]

I just did this - is this another instance which people consider woke infection? Count Ymir is obviously a dude, but he wants to get pregnant and become a mother (to fingercreepers and his dead son?) and a dude obsessing about getting pregnant in sheer defiance of nature is very current year. But much like craves-dickella, it just upped the horror for me. Seeing the dude sitting on his throne cradling and cooing to a fingercreeper he named after his dead kid was creepy as hell. Also speaking of cradling, I didn't want to fight metyr, I wanted the hugs I was promised! I used o mother when I entered the area, but I still had to drop her.

I don’t get woke from any of this, and I’m personally not calling it that.
It feels more like Miyazaki trying to see how much he could get away with. I should also apply some blame to George too to be fair, but I’m not sure where his contributions begin and end. (Ok, it begins at incest)

DS1 had the Gwyndolin situation, but that served a purpose to illustrate the character of Gwyn, and Gwyndolin’s motivations.

DS2 had Nashandra usurp the king and cuck him into an early grave, but that was played as Vendrick’s flaw as a character. Once we find out who Nashandra is, it makes sense too.

Bloodborne is filled with feminine themes/aesthetics, but nothing is girl bossed, or bent towards male bashing. Even with many literal girl bosses. They even managed to explore Lovecraft without ramming down your throat he was a product of his time.

Fromsoft plays with weirdness in all their titles, it’s just usually more skillfully applied imo.

I dig it. As a man who makes no use of ranged weapons having a throwing spear is based. The weapon art helps to stunlock bad guys or deal with groups of low-level scum.

Ok. I decided to make a new character for the DLC, and I’m trying to see what I’m going to build towards this time. The spear was one of the new weapons to catch my eye.

 

[74164978231]

I really, really hate the camera system combined with how spergy/flashy bosses are. Half the time I cant even see wtf is going on or properly judge distances because of it.

 

[Tablet County]

Why do lords of frenzy walk with an exaggerated swagger of a draconian youth?

The flame is gold colored, giving you natural bling. The swag of having a head made entirely out of bling is off the charts.

I just did this - is this another instance which people consider woke infection?

I think the only people who would consider that "woke" are brain broken doomers like Synthetic Man.

 

[Leeroy]

"I am Ansbach, of the Pureblood Knights. I stand with blade aloft, blood afire, for the dignity of my lord and master, Mohg."
"I am deeply sorry, for doubting you. I am here to grant St. Trina's singular wish. I will stop Miquella the Kind. He will never become a god."
I can't believe that they actually make a gank fight one of the best in the entire game. It definitely helps that you actually interact with and help these people throughout the DLC, and the greatest fight comes from doing all of their quests. The final boss is a giant pain, but this fight was amazing.

 

[crowabunga]

"I am Ansbach, of the Pureblood Knights. I stand with blade aloft, blood afire, for the dignity of my lord and master, Mohg."
"I am deeply sorry, for doubting you. I am here to grant St. Trina's singular wish. I will stop Miquella the Kind. He will never become a god."
I can't believe that they actually make a gank fight one of the best in the entire game. It definitely helps that you actually interact with and help these people throughout the DLC, and the greatest fight comes from doing all of their quests. The final boss is a giant pain, but this fight was amazing.

For a moment after the final boss I wondered if I was the baddie, but then I saw Ansbach's corpse. Did I miss a summon sign or is it inevitable he races ahead and carks it?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=3lsyuc5fL8M

This is the biggest DLC recontextualization for me, everything else is just lore retcons, but Mohg stands right in front of you and rants about how he's gonna make a dynasty with his manwife, and then it turns out Mohg got magically gay-converted and led astray from his original goals, used as nothing but a tool to get Miquella into the Land of Shadow. Mohg got done dirty.

I'm still not sure if the Land of Shadow is a Lovecraft-style Dreamland or actually an island somewhere, or when Messmer was sent to raze the place, or why Marika wanted Messmer to raze the place. At first I thought it might have something to do with Marika wanting to destroy the Mother of Fingers grafted into the Scadutree if you buy the interpretation that Marika was trying to get free of the Greater Will, but Messmer seems to be doing a piss poor job of that if that is his purpose, and it's total conjecture besides that.

 

[Lizard Machine Bugs]

"I am Ansbach, of the Pureblood Knights. I stand with blade aloft, blood afire, for the dignity of my lord and master, Mohg."
"I am deeply sorry, for doubting you. I am here to grant St. Trina's singular wish. I will stop Miquella the Kind. He will never become a god."
I can't believe that they actually make a gank fight one of the best in the entire game. It definitely helps that you actually interact with and help these people throughout the DLC, and the greatest fight comes from doing all of their quests. The final boss is a giant pain, but this fight was amazing.

I missed some of Ansbach's dialogue and Thiollier due to getting to the Cerulean Coast late, that and I didn't realize you were supposed to repeatedly die to Saint Trina to get Thoiller to show up.
Even if you go back by the time you've gotten to the gank fight he won't be there anymore, which is a shame.
I looked it up but progressing the main quest too fast also locks you out of Moore's questline, but that's the problem with playing blind, I almost missed Ranni's quest and entirely walked past Sellen, Rogier, Alexander's, and the quest of that one dumb forgettable guy who tries to infiltrate volcano manor in the main game the first time.