Ethan Ralph is better off than most of you - Think you can change my mind?

Gender: Xenomorph

Gender: Xenomorph

Pronouns: Xe/Xer
kiwifarms.net
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Aug 2, 2021
Watching latest MATI and I realized Ethan has:
* A stable income
* A wife
* A popular stream

He's a douche, but not worse off than any normie man. Way better off than your average 40yo diabetic junkie.

Think you can change my mind? Explain how he's retarded or funny, without sounding like a jealous autistic boy who wants to fuck his wife.
 
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>very fat
>heavy drinker
>pill addict
>permanent eye damage from getting beat up by robbers in portugal
>probably permanent brain damage too
>despised and hated by almost everybody who knows him IRL
>complete laughing stock on the internet
>convicted sex offender (revenge porn)
>involved in ongoing legal disputes
no thanks
 
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People who act like he's got absolutely nothing going for him are overselling it.

That said, he is quite overweight, he's got serious substance abuse problems (I'd imagine he wakes up shaking in the morning), he's got a variety of legal issues, he's very short (although that isn't his fault), plus he's just very insecure and messed up in the head and can't maintain relationships because of it.

I won't even get into his depressing marriage to the horse.

Not the worst life a figure on the site's ever had by a long shot, but still not too enviable.
 
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Oooh. That's tough, but Ill try.
Lets see.
1) I and most other people dont have a crippling drug AND alcohol addiction which causes our main source of income to suffer.
2) I and most other people have not seen a minimum 70% reduction in income in the last two years.
3) I and most other people do not have one child who reacts to us with fear, and loathing, and another who is so unfamiliar with us that he mistakes us for a cartoin character.
4) I and most other people do not have our every L broadcast to the internet to be mocked by thousands of autists.
5) I and most other Americans did not have to flee to the same third world country that is responsible for the vast majority of economic migrants coming here.
6) I and most other people are not currently involved in multiple court cases.
7) I and most other people are not convicted felons AND convicted sex offenders.
8) I and most other people do not have googky eyes due to a beatdown in a foreign country that put us in a hospital.
9) I am not obese, and though most people in America are, most are not morbidly obese
10) I and most other men are not 5'1" or shorter.
 
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Gender: Xenomorph said:
Watching latest MATI and I realized Ethan has:
* A stable income
* A wife
* A popular stream
Click to expand...
That's quite unexceptional.
There are millions and millions of people that have far less than Ethan, yet they are successful medics, engineers, professors etc. Plenty of jobs that offer rather tiny incomes, yet somewhat stable, but I assure you that if you offered me all the money Ethan has I would not give up even 1% of my medical job, because money ain't everything.
Also, he's obese and and gonna die soon, most likely. I'm fit and can run marathons with relative ease and dunk a basketball.
Again, even if you'd give me all that Ralph has, I would obviously not let go of my healthy body.
Some things are impossible to be priced.
 
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R.png
Also, I am not 300+ lbs that is under 5'1 and I am not a felon
* A stable income
Click to expand...
I mean how much is going to power chat, child support, drugs, booze, lawsuits, a blue checkmark, and flights to see Xander? He lost other sources of money like Patron for his actions. As well, he lost power twice and he Airbnb his place and does not own it.
* A wife
Click to expand...
His already divorced and has two restraining orders against him from his former lover. Dating a horse that hates him and has no money since she burned her family bridge.
* A popular stream
Click to expand...
Do you mean from viewers of Cozy that hate him, the restreams on the farms? He gets kicked from every streaming service he tried being on and AF tolerates him because he is their rage pig and will suck Nick's dick no matter what.
 
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I mean, I'm a woman and taller than him. So.

But as has been mentioned, the lack of addictions, criminal convictions, ongoing legal problems are pretty huge pluses to not being Ralph. My son actually knows who I am, and has had a real relationship with me. My spouse and I have been together happily for decades. Oh, and none of my in laws have ever wanted to sue me.

Depending on how you prioritize your life, I think having a happy relationship, and a family that loves and enjoys you is a pretty huge win for anyone over Ralph. They certainly last longer than internet popularity.
 
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Yeah I am so jealous of Ralph. I mean how does one even got about getting a felony anyway?

Nikes_JustDoIt said:
I mean how much is going to power chat, child support, drugs, booze, lawsuits, a blue checkmark, and flights to see Xander? He lost other sources of money like Patron for his actions. As well, he lost power twice and he Airbnb his place and does not own it.
Click to expand...
He’s getting killed in terms of what he used to make compared to now. Literally the opposite of stability. Further, he has no marketable skills and his felony makes him pretty much unemployable. What he does now relies on the generosity of others whether they love or hate him— not much of a step up from street begging with a sign or a member of a freak show.

Bragging about his income isn’t the flex he thinks it is. It has been a decent amount in recent years but some of us Kiwis do make more than him. I’m not owned at all by his income bragging.
 
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According to the musical stylings of Jarbo the Hutt, "The Gunt becomes the violent one, five hundred pounds and five foot one". Based on this scientifically accurate measurement, Ralph's BMI is 94.5, placing him well off the scale of any existing BMI chart.
As such, I have invented the 'BMI Shart', which helps visualize just how enormous Ralph really is.
gunt bmi shart.png
If your BMI is anywhere to the left of the arrow, you may be better off than Ethan Ralph.
 
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Better to be single than in a loveless and toxic marriage.

Better to earn a modest income with a boring job than rely on a wildly fluctuating income reliant entirely on streaming superchats.

Better to be an anonymous nobody on the internet than a known convicted felon and sex offender with a disgusting gunt and a booze and pill addiction that will kill me before I hit middle age.
 
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