Finding out who you are

[Biggusstickus]

"Don't be who you are not". "Don't pretend to be someone your not"

You can learn programming online, but you just can't seem focus. If anything you can learn your digital trade, but as soon as you start coding what you learn comes up as blank, like writer's block. People go to college for a computer science degree, they like what they're studying, but 5 years into their job and they don't want to see a computer screen again. Worse after graduating with a CS degree, some people can't get jobs in the field thanks to either oversaturation in the job market, or thanks to H1B visa immigrants.

You want to be in the trades, a plumber, an electrician but there's either no opportunities around you to learn and practice your craft. Worse, there's no jobs where you live because its been taken by immigrants for low pay. Perhaps you don't even have the aptitude for the trades, and your mean't for something else.

Some people like to draw. The problem arises when said drawers have been drawing for years, and they haven't improve much. Is it because of laziness? They're not trying hard enough? They haven't found the right tutors? They don't mind drawing, they like it, but it seems that no matter how many hours they put into their hobby their skill doesn't improve.

Your studying for something that gives you headaches, frustrates you, you want to do something else, but what you study can lead to your goal. It'll take years, money, putting yourself in debt and putting your life on hold, but its all for the sake of your 1 goal. Perhaps you'll get paid for your effort, or perhaps you wasted your time and resources in vain.

You have people don't like their jobs, but they're really good at it. But the things they like to do, they aren't good at.

They're are many paths for people to take, but how do you know the path is right for you? You can't exactly job shadow since companies are too busy or don't want to bother with you. You can look online, but what you watch online might not translate well in real life when you do the real work. And its not like everyone you know will know everything, especially when your busy with your own life.

How do you find out who you are?

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Having a tough time I see. That's fine, a lot of people are.

Not being able to focus in programming is normal imo. It's boring as shit; there's a reason a lot of the really master level programmers started out basically as trollish weirdos. And that even applies to front end stuff, when you go to back end it even loses any creative appeal front end had. Knowing bootstrap and angular is one thing, but you have to have something real fucking wrong with you to enjoy database programming or w/e.

The trades are great because they're completely intuitive and involve a minimum of dealing with people's fucking shit; it's just you and physics. Usually it's more an issue of understanding local codes and whatnot, although tbh if you could see what's going on behind most people's walls you'd question if most "professionals" even know that. It's a fucking disaster of hacked apart boxes and ghetto piping and overdrawn circuits and god only knows what. Don't cut off your fingers, don't start electrical fires, try not to stick your hand in a live outlet (even though I think everyone's done that at some point), it's not a big deal.

Drawing is not a form of artistic expression that I like. It's ok, but it gives way too much of an opportunity for obessiveness. Plus the internet has really turned it kind of sick, in a lot of different ways. It isn't because of laziness, it's because when people over-intellectualize things it cripples them. I think you improve at the arts when you lose the idea that there's truly any such thing as improving; there are things certain audiences like, there are things you like, but in the end there's no such thing as "good" or "bad" art, just put it out there if it feels ok to you and if people consider it offensively bad...sorry I guess, they'll live.

But like I said to the last question you asked: seriously consider that the rumination you're engaging in is a consequence of poor neurophysical health.

 

[IKOL]

Hit the crisis too, eh?

I can't tell that I've found myself, really. But, just like a lot of people, I've found my spiritual\psychic shelter in hobbies, that is drawing and modeling. Hell, it even pushed me to help a guy who works on one retro-style game, I've noticed that, while I work with him, my skills are getting better, because I start to challenge myself at something, improve things I do so they could get better etc.

Coding is... hell. I don't want to touch it, not now, but if I'm about to follow my dream I would have to do it.

And, regarding your question

How do you find out who you are?

You don't. It comes out naturally. You'll know it when it come and you will feel a comfort in your mind and heart that have never been experienced before.

 

[Help Me Move This Table]

Garden

 

[Sperghetti]

Your job isn’t you.

Trying to link your job to your identity is only going to lead you to a world of misery and ruining things you once loved. Just let your job be a job, and save the stuff you actually enjoy for your free time.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Adderall

 

[LeroyJenkem]

Who you are at the present is momentary and fleeting, your self isn't just a static concept. It grows and clarifies with risk, growth, time, and experience.

Your career or hobbies will become a part of yourself if you invest in them and capitalize on the right opportunities that present themselves.

If you're young, outline some incredibly rough goals and take the steps to pursue things you already have an interest in. You don't even really need to be passionate about a specific field, the "enjoy your job and you'll never work a day in your life" is some unwashed feet, platitudinal hippy dogshit. Work is work. All jobs can suck, and all jobs have their perks. Just get into something that jives with your aptitudes for as much money as you can get for it. I work in the trades, and I do so because it was easier in my situation than going to school. I also hate the idea of working in a cubicle farm and dealing with office politics. I took the time to get good at my trade. It has made me more useful in other areas of my life. It also makes good money, and I can take the time I have from not  needing to work overtime or a second job to pursue my actual passions more rigorously without worrying whether or not the bills are paid.

Also, hobbies that have an actual result like drawing, writing/recording music, lifting, canning jam, weaving baskets, pot farming, whatever, are always far superior to passive activities that don't yield any self improvement like collecting (action figures, memorabilia, expensive shoes, etc), watching movies, extensive gaming (people who identify as a "gamer" types), following sports and not playing them... You get the idea. Shit hobbies turn people with potential into literal NPC human cattle. Your self backpedals when you consume more than you produce.


If something hurts or is hard, it's building character. Character is the best part of yourself, and it carries over to every version of you. If something is shitty or the risk is terrifying, but the result is worth it, don't puss out. You'll be a better person for it.

I hope you figure out your situation, bud.

 

[Golly]

Just posting to echo the sentiment that we aren't our jobs, we contain multitudes. We're a culmination of everything we do. I don't know if "finding yourself" is truly possible, but I know I'm much happier now than when I was in my early 20s.

What little I do know about figuring out who I am and where I "fit" (still in progress) comes from focusing on creating circumstances that foster being psychologically grounded. There's a lot to be said about the benefits of stepping out of one's comfort zone, but I think you need to be able to find a (healthy) comfort zone to build from to even make a start. Otherwise, it's very easy to find yourself pursuing paths for the wrong reasons.

 

[L50LasPak]

I don't think a bad experience necessarily builds character. It can, but its not guaranteed.

A really bad situation will show you who you are though, with no room for misinterpretation whatsoever. That's why a lot of people have trouble moving on from them; they wipe out whatever pretensions you had about yourself beforehand, and usually what's left isn't much to look at.

 

[SevenEightNine]

you have to have something real fucking wrong with you to enjoy database programming or w/e.

I was gonna argue...but I've never even met another one like me...

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

LoL, dude, just button mash life and figure it out from there.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Who you are at the present is momentary and fleeting, your self isn't just a static concept. It grows and clarifies with risk, growth, time, and experience.

Your career or hobbies will become a part of yourself if you invest in them and capitalize on the right opportunities that present themselves.

If you're young, outline some incredibly rough goals and take the steps to pursue things you already have an interest in. You don't even really need to be passionate about a specific field, the "enjoy your job and you'll never work a day in your life" is some unwashed feet, platitudinal hippy dogshit. Work is work. All jobs can suck, and all jobs have their perks. Just get into something that jives with your aptitudes for as much money as you can get for it. I work in the trades, and I do so because it was easier in my situation than going to school. I also hate the idea of working in a cubicle farm and dealing with office politics. I took the time to get good at my trade. It has made me more useful in other areas of my life. It also makes good money, and I can take the time I have from not  needing to work overtime or a second job to pursue my actual passions more rigorously without worrying whether or not the bills are paid.

Also, hobbies that have an actual result like drawing, writing/recording music, lifting, canning jam, weaving baskets, pot farming, whatever, are always far superior to passive activities that don't yield any self improvement like collecting (action figures, memorabilia, expensive shoes, etc), watching movies, extensive gaming (people who identify as a "gamer" types), following sports and not playing them... You get the idea. Shit hobbies turn people with potential into literal NPC human cattle. Your self backpedals when you consume more than you produce.


If something hurts or is hard, it's building character. Character is the best part of yourself, and it carries over to every version of you. If something is shitty or the risk is terrifying, but the result is worth it, don't puss out. You'll be a better person for it.

I hope you figure out your situation, bud.

I’ve long viewed there as being a difference between “productive” entertainment and “consumptive” entertainment, and place an importance on the former.

Don’t know if studying/reading counts as productive or consumptive. Lean towards the former, but really doubt it sometimes. In a similar vein, there are things like walking in parks and paying attention to the animals and plants, which is not “productive” as such but builds a bond with the world that feels significant.

I think some part of me expected that building my life around productive hobbies would get some sort of recognition from the world, like there was a fear of being boring and that doing things would make me not boring, but it turns out most people are, really, boring faggots that are only into media or athletics and have no interest in the world or life beyond that. Have never admitted that to somebody before. But I choose my activities based on things that I do like, and it’s better than playing PS4 until I die.

You seem like somebody who’s got a real insight into what life is really about.

 

[WhatIsThePunchline]

There are personality and aptitude tests that you can take that are actually good and useful. You can usually identify them by them costing money(not an insane amount though), and being pushed on the merits of the underlying research (which you can look up).

They'll give you an idea of your nature and what might be a good fit for you workwise. That helps give you an idea what to look for/what specific fields to look into further.

 

[Biggusstickus]

Who you are at the present is momentary and fleeting, your self isn't just a static concept. It grows and clarifies with risk, growth, time, and experience.

Your career or hobbies will become a part of yourself if you invest in them and capitalize on the right opportunities that present themselves.

If you're young, outline some incredibly rough goals and take the steps to pursue things you already have an interest in. You don't even really need to be passionate about a specific field, the "enjoy your job and you'll never work a day in your life" is some unwashed feet, platitudinal hippy dogshit. Work is work. All jobs can suck, and all jobs have their perks. Just get into something that jives with your aptitudes for as much money as you can get for it. I work in the trades, and I do so because it was easier in my situation than going to school. I also hate the idea of working in a cubicle farm and dealing with office politics. I took the time to get good at my trade. It has made me more useful in other areas of my life. It also makes good money, and I can take the time I have from not  needing to work overtime or a second job to pursue my actual passions more rigorously without worrying whether or not the bills are paid.

How do you discover your aptitudes? You have to experience life to discover this, but what if your in an area that doesn't have opportunities to "Expand your horizon". Or cost too money or requires you to have "2+ years of experience"?

How was getting into trades easy for you?

Also, hobbies that have an actual result like drawing, writing/recording music, lifting, canning jam, weaving baskets, pot farming, whatever, are always far superior to passive activities that don't yield any self improvement like collecting (action figures, memorabilia, expensive shoes, etc), watching movies, extensive gaming (people who identify as a "gamer" types), following sports and not playing them... You get the idea. Shit hobbies turn people with potential into literal NPC human cattle. Your self backpedals when you consume more than you produce.

What about reading or learning a new language?

If something hurts or is hard, it's building character. Character is the best part of yourself, and it carries over to every version of you. If something is shitty or the risk is terrifying, but the result is worth it, don't puss out. You'll be a better person for it.

I hope you figure out your situation, bud.

Amen to this

 

[Osmosis Jones]

There are personality and aptitude tests that you can take that are actually good and useful. You can usually identify them by them costing money(not an insane amount though), and being pushed on the merits of the underlying research (which you can look up).

They'll give you an idea of your nature and what might be a good fit for you workwise. That helps give you an idea what to look for/what specific fields to look into further.

Aptitude and personality tests are absolute bullshit and they're about as accurate as your horoscope. My #1 score on a career aptitude test 10 years ago was a corrections officer. I'm nowhere near interested in nor capable of that job, and that's just my bullshit anecdote. 100% of personality and aptitude tests are biased.

I unironically agree with @Shadfan666xxx000 (sorry quote borked for me) that "button mashing" life is the way to go sometimes. You'll find something you like.

 

[Wormy]

Other people will tell you.

And you will accept it or face the consequences. You probably aren't more powerful than society.

 

[ArnoldPalmer]

Adderall

Man you probably posted this as a joke, but it's true. I nearly had a breakdown the first time I tried it. "Is this what being functional and non-miserable feels like?" Goddamn I wish I could get more.

 

[WhatIsThePunchline]

Aptitude and personality tests are absolute bullshit and they're about as accurate as your horoscope. My #1 score on a career aptitude test 10 years ago was a corrections officer. I'm nowhere near interested in nor capable of that job, and that's just my bullshit anecdote. 100% of personality and aptitude tests are biased.

I unironically agree with @Shadfan666xxx000 (sorry quote borked for me) that "button mashing" life is the way to go sometimes. You'll find something you like.

If the test gave you a nr 1 recommendation then obviously it's bullshit. What it should do is give you a selection of professions you might be a good fit for. And I already mentioned you still have to research the suggestions and see if you actually fit into them. But it can still be helpful to give you a hint.

And no, not all of them are "absolute bullshit". It's certainly better than 'eh you'll find something eventually'.

 

[Osmosis Jones]

If the test gave you a nr 1 recommendation then obviously it's bullshit. What it should do is give you a selection of professions you might be a good fit for. And I already mentioned you still have to research the suggestions and see if you actually fit into them. But it can still be helpful to give you a hint.

And no, not all of them are "absolute bullshit". It's certainly better than 'eh you'll find something eventually'.

No, pigeonholing yourself into a select few careers with paid online aptitude tests is not an effective way to do things. Defining yourself by a set of rules made up by some psychologist in order to find out who you are is laughably stupid. Touch grass.

 

[urr13 account]

"Is this what being functional and non-miserable feels like?"

No. It's what being on a low-dose of perscription meth feels like.

But it is likely the solution to OPs problem, and many peoples problem. Jobs suck, adderall can help you get through a shit job and be a productive member of society. It's easy to get just tell a psych that you cant focus or get anything done which is probably true for everyone anyway.