Fun stories from work?

[Clostridium Botulinum]

I work as a police dispatcher in a cucked city in an otherwise OK state. Here's some gems from runs I've seen/written:

• Man calls us because his baby is having a seizure. His niggress comes into the room and stabs him while fire is giving him CPR instructions
• Skitzo smoking meth punches out a window, getting his aids juice everywhere before climbing onto roof and threatening SWAT with a sword.
• chimpouts over:
  • Not being able to carry a razor blade in a sock into the food stamp office
  • Getting your nanny dog run over when it's off leash
  • Not getting the correct salad dressing
• Literal tard rage at a group home over the Caretaker turning off internet so the kids can go to special ed.
• Troon (FTM) fully embraces toxic masculinity and bitch slaps her elderly mother

God I hate this city.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

Dual butt touch knife fight.

I will not elaborate.

 

[SNU]

Drunk guy cuts himself shaving. Not a big cut. A normal cut you get every once in a while. He called the ambulance. He greatly exaggerated how bad it was to dispatch. It stopped bleeding well before the ambulance got there. The tax payer paid for that call out.

Guy called ambulance because he hadn't shit in a while. Once again, this guy greatly exaggerated his symptoms when talking to dispatch. He shit has pants shortly after we showed up. This was a guy in his late 20s

A guy falls off a roof at a party and breaks his back. We show up and his friends start throwing bottles at the ambulance and being aggressive. We have to leave and wait for cops to come and escort. I still don't understand why they called an ambulance and then drove us off while their friend was lying there unable to move

 

[Jason Wynn]

Guy got fired 2 hours after his first day for showing up shitfaced drunk and puking all the way down the carpeted hall.

Our security guard was fired and had to be escorted off by his fellow officer, all the while ugly crying and throwing a tantrum.

Older female coworker I suspect is trying to fatten me up. She’s constantly bringing me treats and stuff she’s baked and brought in. Even when I try politely declining she guilt trips me into taking something. I think I found the perfect woman for Null

I told this methed out looking homeless chick to piss off after she tried asking me for a cigarette. Coworker with me revealed his degeneracy by saying he would have given her one so he could have a chance to fuck her.

Fixing a coworker’s computer and found out they were a footfag and tickle fetishist. Side note: don’t look that shit up on a company computer and even if you decide to be a degenerate and ignore that, delete your fucking search history, retard.