Funny song/nursery rhyme versions

[Meat Target]

Post the funny versions of songs and nursery rhymes you sang as a kid.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as night
But it’s not PC to call it black
So she calls it dirty white

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candlestick
But someone lit the candlestick
And poor old Jack burnt his wick

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He had more fun because he was gay

Suffocation, the game of suffocation,
Suffocation, oh it's so much fun!
First you take a plastic bag,
Then you put it on your head!
Wake up dead!
(Now you're dead)
Wake up dead!
(Now you're dead)
Oh-oh-oh-oh...

 

[My Name is Ed]

I hate you, you hate me
Barney gave us HIV
With a baseball bat and a 4x4
No more purple dinosaur

I hadn't even hit puberty then, don't judge.

 

[TIMECUBE 2.0]

Hickory Dickory dock
The bitch was suckin' my cock
The clock struck two
I shot my glue
Hickory Dickory dock.

Found my dad's Andrew Dice Clay stuff when I was like 10 or so lol.

 

[TEA 3HF]

 

[TheRetardKing]

 

[Waifu Days]

Little boy blue . . . He needed the money. OOOoohh!

 

[Beak Thing]

Jingle bells/Batman smells/Robin laid and egg/Batmobile lost its wheel/Joker ran away, hey!

Joy to the world, the teacher's dead/we barbecued her head/we took the rest of her body/and flushed it down the potty/around around it goes/arond around it goes...I don't think we actually finished the last verse.

God there was this Barney one too but I don't remember it right now.