Futbol thread.

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Maybe we should start a Kiwi Farms football team and show everyone how you do good football. I call dips on being vice president of the club. Do nothing bc I have someone above me but getting payed royally.
Regardless of role I wanna be at man united because apparently you can do whatever and not get fired
 
A story in two pictures. I am so fucking happy.

IMG_0692.jpeg

IMG_0691.jpeg
 
Maybe we should start a Kiwi Farms football team and show everyone how you do good football. I call dips on being vice president of the club. Do nothing bc I have someone above me but getting payed royally.
Dibs on being the CFO of the club. And I will need to hire my assistants DSP's Finance Lawyer, DSP's Streaming Lawyer, and DSP's Investment Lawyer to help me out. They will be getting higher than normal salaries as they don't need health benefits
 
and this is a nice murder compilation.
In terms of on-field murder, it's kinda hard to top the shit that happens at amateur level. My personal favorite:

This one gets even better when you find out that
a)she wasn't carded for the hit
b)the reason she wasn't carded was because the person she hit was flagged as offside (no I have no idea why being offside would allow that)
c)she clearly wasn't offside
d) the keeper has a history of doing this shit, this was the season before:
 
In terms of on-field murder, it's kinda hard to top the shit that happens at amateur level. My personal favorite:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=oNuy4RRISXo
This one gets even better when you find out that
a)she wasn't carded for the hit
b)the reason she wasn't carded was because the person she hit was flagged as offside (no I have no idea why being offside would allow that)
c)she clearly wasn't offside
d) the keeper has a history of doing this shit, this was the season before:
tackle 2 electric boogaloo.webm

Haha, just finished this one before I saw your post. Goalkeepers are crazy.


There is a channel who covered German amateur level football. Compilations full of wild fouls, fights, fails and stuff. Unfortunately they had to stop bc they got into trouble bc of copyright shit.

 
In terms of on-field murder, it's kinda hard to top the shit that happens at amateur level. My personal favorite:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=oNuy4RRISXo
This one gets even better when you find out that
a)she wasn't carded for the hit
b)the reason she wasn't carded was because the person she hit was flagged as offside (no I have no idea why being offside would allow that)
c)she clearly wasn't offside
d) the keeper has a history of doing this shit, this was the season before:
tackle 2 electric boogaloo.webm
No need for a citizenship test, that one there's pure bri'ish. Do it for the badge lass
 
Bayern better hope they beat Lazio in the second leg or else they'll find themselves with nothing to play for by early March and I can't remember the last time that happened.

Edit to avoid double post:

Wow, Dean Huijsen (6'5 center back, born 2005) scored a solo goal today that made me think I was watching KDB. Juve loaned him out but continue to give minutes to finished players like Danilo and Alex Sandro :story:
 
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Bayern better hope they beat Lazio in the second leg or else they'll find themselves with nothing to play for by early March and I can't remember the last time that happened.
Not gonna lie. Kane taking so much shit for his lack of trophies, only to move to Bayern the one year they fucking bottle everything is just *chef's kiss*

Also for today's kinda depressing stat I read on BBC football's coverage:
Brighton thrashed 10-man Sheffield United, who stayed bottom of the Premier League and conceded five goals at home for the third consecutive game.
Imagine not just being stuck in Yorkshire, but being stuck in Yorkshire while also getting repeatedly, absolutely, fucking mogged. Truly grim.
 
Yesterday was the game RB Leipzig vs Mönchengladbach (2:0). The Gladbach fans went silent for the whole game bc one of their Ultras died on his way to the match in a car crash. Shortly after the game started a Leipzig fan collapsed in the stances and died, so the Leipzig fans went silent for the rest of the game and at the end everyone raised their mobile phones with the lights on.

1708289699245.png

In other news: You might remember that I posted a few weeks ago about the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga clubs coming together and voting about getting an investor or not, how scummy the whole thing was and how it doesn't really resonate with the fans.

Well, since this vote we saw fan protests during nearly every game so far. It started with the fans being silent for the first 12 minutes of a match and then unpacking banners mocking the DFL and throwing stuff (chocolate coins and tennis balls) on the pitch. After a few weeks it escalated to the fans randomly throwing stuff on the pitch and often several times during a match. That's why a lot of games are interrupted quite a bit at the moment, sometimes for as long as 20 to 30 minutes.

This weekend the fans of 2. Bundesliga club Hansa Rostock and of Bundesliga club Cologne ampted their game up and threw fucking remote controlled toy cars on the pitch lol

Cologne vs Bremen

Hansa Rostock vs Hamburger SV; the Rostock fans attached little smoke bombs on their toy cars.
 
In other news: You might remember that I posted a few weeks ago about the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga clubs coming together and voting about getting an investor or not, how scummy the whole thing was and how it doesn't really resonate with the fans.

Well, since this vote we saw fan protests during narly every game so far. It started with the fans being silent for the first 12 minutes of a match and then unpacking banners mocking the DFL and throwing stuff (chocolate coins and tennis balls) on the pitch. After a few weeks it escalated to the fans randomly throwing stuff on the pitch and often several times during a match. That's why a lot of games are interrupted quite a bit at the moment, sometimes for as long as 20 to 30 minutes.

This weekend the fans of 2. Bundesliga club Hansa Rostock and of Bundesliga club Cologne ampted their game up and threw fucking remote controlled toy cars on the pitch lol

Cologne vs Bremen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wzVnUX1Nhf0
Hansa Rostock vs Hamburger SV; the Rostock fans attached little smoke bombs on their toy cars.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1VJkCwmcXv4
Great stuff. During last week's Hamburg match, some fans managed to get secure some bike locks to the goals.
1708299578751.png
It might have taken longer to cut the locks than it did to disable the remote cars.
The cars were funnier though.

(Hamburg also dumped their coach, as they seem to be spiraling out of promotion, again. Meanwhile across town, St Pauli bounced back from their first loss, still in control of promotion at #1 in the table.)

The fan protests may be having an effect, this week Blackstone backed out of their bid.
https://archive.ph/jL5Es (archive seems to be looping for the bloomberg article)

If only German football fans were as passionate about other aspects of their country as they are about foreign capital in their Fußball.
 
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