- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
Greetings. It is I. You may rember me from my other posts on Hedeghogs and also some of my Scientific Evolotion Theroys on Cats. Among many others. Today, I will do a Over View of the Hegehog. and tell you all about it. "Where did it Come From?" "How can we use these animals?" "How should I care for my hedegog" I hope you shall enjoy the
*reminder-delete asterisk notes before posting*DONT FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*____________________________________________________*place video in brackets
*play the clip of me walking throuhg the door into the library holding a cigar Make sure there are books about science and war there and Guns on the wall so audence knows I am a learned, worldly Man, a Real Man
*_____________________________________________________*place video in brackets
*reminder-delete asterisk notes before posting*DONT FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good morning Viewer. Oh hello, I didn't see you there. Please let me talk to you about a wondeful creature. known as: a Hedgehog. Some day the sun might be out and you may be walking along on the a path. You will hear a peucliar noise that sounds like, "Snuff Snuff..Snuff Snuff". And the noise of a small animal, Rooting Around in the grass. Congrations: you have just discovered a Hedgehog. He's your little pal. Your New Hog requires many things wich, I will now Teach it to you. e,.
WHERE DO THEY COME FROM??
The hegehog was first discovered in the year ~2000 BC by cave dwelling peoples who used the animal's spines for poison darts. Cave drawings from around this Era depict swarms of hedgehogs killing many thousands of people. It is estimated that the hedgehog was responsible for more deaths than any other spiked mammal, and certainly more than any other hog, in history. The entomology of the name "hedgeghog" comes from the fact that the creature snorts, and, during an attack, emanates high pitched screams that sound exactly like a newborn piglet when he squeals.
________________________________________________________________________________
So...you've got yourself a hog. Let's Talk about that.
BRONDING with your Hedgehog:
Bonding with the new pet hehog takes Time. This hog is Now placed in a alien envionment, your enviroment, and doest even know you at all, so you need to take Things slow and let the hedgehog Discover who YOU are. 30 minutes a day should be spend of bonding with your animal, to have a healthy reltionship with your Pal.
1). Wash your hands before you pick it up. Your hedehog will get comfotable knowing you have Clean Hands. Do not wear gloves when you handle your hedgehog. it scares him. Also, if you wear the gloves Your hedgehog will not be able to smell you......Hedgehogs may also become Frightened by the smell of gloves and begin to Bite. If you do not want to use your bare hands, use a blankie instead. If you use it, use the same one each time.
For the Smell.
2). Pick up your hedge kid delicately. Place both hands on both sides of your guy and scoop him up off the ground! Haha.. Allow you hedgehog to find a comfotable postion in your warm Hands. You want your boy to feel safe or he will Bite You.
!!! PLEASE BEWARE !!!!
Your hedgehog may turn into a Ball when you pick him up. If he does, his Spines will shoot directly into your bare flesh, causing a Disease known as Hedgehog Rot. This will kill you extremely slowly, while your insides are eaten by necrolytic bacterial amoebas. It is almost exactly like having a Full-Body, Black Widow Spider Bite.
Do not handle your hedhog right after you eat, touch something with a strong smeell, or Handle any other Critter. Your hedgehog will not know that it's you and WILL Bite You Hard or maybe even snuffle, turn into a little ball and then Kill. Wash your hands thoroughly to get rid of the smell. Hiowever. Please know the a Hedgeheg will Bite Anyone, whenever it pleases.
4). Pet your hegheg from Head to Tail!!!!! Always pet your in the direction that the spikes go, so you don't get Poisoned. Petting in the opposite direction will kill you and probably other people and it will be uncomfotable to your hedgehog. And if you are dead, who is going to feed your piglet? Exactly. When your hedgehedge is relaxed his Spines will simply go away. If your hedgehog feels threatened, the spikes will....POP OUT! And the Hedgehodge WILL Attack. Avoid petting your hedgehog when he feels threatened. (Note: Your hedge hog may not enjoy being Petted and Touched until he trusts you) (Note: There is no way to tell if a hegdehog Trusts a man)
REMBER: No Matter What You Do, NEVER let your Hegehong Stab You with his spikes. That is Rule Number One.
BOnDING THROUH SMELLS:
1). Place your t-shirt in his cage. You can probably get a woman to sew a tiny one for him, too. :]
3). Be careful with new scents! This can Enrage the Hedgegog and Make him Attack.. and kill, if necessary.
BONDING WITH SOUNDS:
1.) Talk to your hedgehog. But, Please do not Scream at him.
Talk to him any time you want to. He's yours.
2). Play him some music. Your hedgehog might like the same shit you like, i don't fuckin know. I don't care. Please don't share whatever it is, with me. If your hedgehedge Bites and KILLS you, you probably have shit taste in music lmao and probably Deserved it. ok, ok...Having Music in the back ground helps your Hedge get used to his new envornment. If theres is a constant stream of music your hedgehog will not be Startled by other sounds. If your hedgeg is accustomed to silence, he will be afraid of every single noise there is.
(Note: If a noise is loud to you, it is probably too loud for your hedgehog as well!!! Don't be a fuckin dildo to your hedehog and you might get lucky...and Avoid The Bite!)
3). Introduce new sounds, so he can Learn.
IMPORTANT!: Observe the sounds your hedgehog is making towards you as well. If he is purring, he is happy and content. If he is chittering and staring you directly in the eyes, you are in certain danger.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR HEDGEHOG'S PERSONALTY
1). Recognize signs of Hedgehogs being Threatened. It is easy to tell if your hedgehog becomes scared, angry, or feels threatened. If he lifts his tiny shirt and places the rear of the neck-hole directly on top of his head so just his face is poking out, and then raises two arms and screams "are you threatening me?!?!", it can mean your hedgehog feels threatened, and is preparing to Bite.
Signs of Aggression:
Erection of the SPIKES
Hissing and Snuffling
the shirt thing
Chittering or Chirruping
Aggressively Biting
Wiggling
Giggling
Snickering
Saying Horrible things to you
Rolling into the Kill Ball
Shaking and Wobbling (...Run. Now.)
2). Know a Snuggler. A Snuggler loves to relax! He will enjoy cuddling and sleeping on you. These type of hedgehogs enjoy being handled and like a lot of interaction. This is the best type of hedgehog ever. A Snuggler only Bites with mild frequency.
!!! WARNING !!!
On occasion, a hedeghog will only Pretend to be a "Snuggler". You may wake up to find the animal standing over you, staring at your sleeping face. On other occasions, you may awaken to hear that the hedgegheg was whispering horrible things into your ear as you slept. If at any time your hedgehog speaks to you, or appears to observe you while you are asleep: Get Out.
3). Know an Explorer. Your hedgehog may be an Explorer if he likes to roam around when you take him out of his cage. He does not like to be still and cuddle but prefers to explore and get into things. If your hedgehog has this type of personality, you may want to bond with him during play time. Supervise the play, speak softly and reassuringly, and enjoy watching the hedgehog play. An explorer will like walking on your hands. Be sure to move one hand in front of the other as your hedgehog walks.
!!! WARNING !!!
On occasion, a hedgheg will only Pretend to be an "Explorer". Sometimes they are lazy shits who just sit around and do nothing with their fucking lives. Pathetic, right? LOL, what a Fucking Loser
4). Know a shy hedgehog. Some hedgehogs are extremely shy. They are not very social. These hedghegogs are often bullied by the Alpha Hogs into submission, subjugation, slavery, suicide and/or transgenderism.
(This Hedgehog owner is about to get Bitten.)
5). Know a grump. If your hedgehog prefers to be left alone in his cage, he may just be an asshole. Just leave him alone. But feed him and change his litter...because you're not an asshole.
*reminder-delete asterisk notes before posting*DONT FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*____________________________________________________*place video in brackets
*play the clip of me walking throuhg the door into the library holding a cigar Make sure there are books about science and war there and Guns on the wall so audence knows I am a learned, worldly Man, a Real Man
*_____________________________________________________*place video in brackets
*reminder-delete asterisk notes before posting*DONT FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good morning Viewer. Oh hello, I didn't see you there. Please let me talk to you about a wondeful creature. known as: a Hedgehog. Some day the sun might be out and you may be walking along on the a path. You will hear a peucliar noise that sounds like, "Snuff Snuff..Snuff Snuff". And the noise of a small animal, Rooting Around in the grass. Congrations: you have just discovered a Hedgehog. He's your little pal. Your New Hog requires many things wich, I will now Teach it to you. e,.
WHERE DO THEY COME FROM??
The hegehog was first discovered in the year ~2000 BC by cave dwelling peoples who used the animal's spines for poison darts. Cave drawings from around this Era depict swarms of hedgehogs killing many thousands of people. It is estimated that the hedgehog was responsible for more deaths than any other spiked mammal, and certainly more than any other hog, in history. The entomology of the name "hedgeghog" comes from the fact that the creature snorts, and, during an attack, emanates high pitched screams that sound exactly like a newborn piglet when he squeals.
Fun HedgeFacts!:
In prehistoric times, there lived a Giant Hedgehog named Dinogalerix! This hegehog was as big as a modern-day Dairy Cow!
Did You Know?: Baby Hedgehogs are NOT called "Hedgepiglets", or even "piglets"! Their scientific designation is actually, "Gabagooblins"!
It was once widely thought that Hedgehogs actually hatch from eggs! Many Scientists still believe this must be how the animals reproduce.
A Hedgehog can survive below-freezing temperatures for up to thousands of years; Encase a hedgehog in ice, and it can be thawed at any time in the future!
Did You Know?: there is currently no known method of killing or injuring a hedgehog.
In prehistoric times, there lived a Giant Hedgehog named Dinogalerix! This hegehog was as big as a modern-day Dairy Cow!
Did You Know?: Baby Hedgehogs are NOT called "Hedgepiglets", or even "piglets"! Their scientific designation is actually, "Gabagooblins"!
It was once widely thought that Hedgehogs actually hatch from eggs! Many Scientists still believe this must be how the animals reproduce.
A Hedgehog can survive below-freezing temperatures for up to thousands of years; Encase a hedgehog in ice, and it can be thawed at any time in the future!
Did You Know?: there is currently no known method of killing or injuring a hedgehog.
________________________________________________________________________________
So...you've got yourself a hog. Let's Talk about that.
How to CARE for Your Hedgehog
BRONDING with your Hedgehog:
Bonding with the new pet hehog takes Time. This hog is Now placed in a alien envionment, your enviroment, and doest even know you at all, so you need to take Things slow and let the hedgehog Discover who YOU are. 30 minutes a day should be spend of bonding with your animal, to have a healthy reltionship with your Pal.
1). Wash your hands before you pick it up. Your hedehog will get comfotable knowing you have Clean Hands. Do not wear gloves when you handle your hedgehog. it scares him. Also, if you wear the gloves Your hedgehog will not be able to smell you......Hedgehogs may also become Frightened by the smell of gloves and begin to Bite. If you do not want to use your bare hands, use a blankie instead. If you use it, use the same one each time.
For the Smell.
2). Pick up your hedge kid delicately. Place both hands on both sides of your guy and scoop him up off the ground! Haha.. Allow you hedgehog to find a comfotable postion in your warm Hands. You want your boy to feel safe or he will Bite You.
!!! PLEASE BEWARE !!!!
Your hedgehog may turn into a Ball when you pick him up. If he does, his Spines will shoot directly into your bare flesh, causing a Disease known as Hedgehog Rot. This will kill you extremely slowly, while your insides are eaten by necrolytic bacterial amoebas. It is almost exactly like having a Full-Body, Black Widow Spider Bite.
Do not handle your hedhog right after you eat, touch something with a strong smeell, or Handle any other Critter. Your hedgehog will not know that it's you and WILL Bite You Hard or maybe even snuffle, turn into a little ball and then Kill. Wash your hands thoroughly to get rid of the smell. Hiowever. Please know the a Hedgeheg will Bite Anyone, whenever it pleases.
4). Pet your hegheg from Head to Tail!!!!! Always pet your in the direction that the spikes go, so you don't get Poisoned. Petting in the opposite direction will kill you and probably other people and it will be uncomfotable to your hedgehog. And if you are dead, who is going to feed your piglet? Exactly. When your hedgehedge is relaxed his Spines will simply go away. If your hedgehog feels threatened, the spikes will....POP OUT! And the Hedgehodge WILL Attack. Avoid petting your hedgehog when he feels threatened. (Note: Your hedge hog may not enjoy being Petted and Touched until he trusts you) (Note: There is no way to tell if a hegdehog Trusts a man)
REMBER: No Matter What You Do, NEVER let your Hegehong Stab You with his spikes. That is Rule Number One.
BOnDING THROUH SMELLS:
1). Place your t-shirt in his cage. You can probably get a woman to sew a tiny one for him, too. :]
3). Be careful with new scents! This can Enrage the Hedgegog and Make him Attack.. and kill, if necessary.
BONDING WITH SOUNDS:
1.) Talk to your hedgehog. But, Please do not Scream at him.
Talk to him any time you want to. He's yours.
2). Play him some music. Your hedgehog might like the same shit you like, i don't fuckin know. I don't care. Please don't share whatever it is, with me. If your hedgehedge Bites and KILLS you, you probably have shit taste in music lmao and probably Deserved it. ok, ok...Having Music in the back ground helps your Hedge get used to his new envornment. If theres is a constant stream of music your hedgehog will not be Startled by other sounds. If your hedgeg is accustomed to silence, he will be afraid of every single noise there is.
(Note: If a noise is loud to you, it is probably too loud for your hedgehog as well!!! Don't be a fuckin dildo to your hedehog and you might get lucky...and Avoid The Bite!)
3). Introduce new sounds, so he can Learn.
IMPORTANT!: Observe the sounds your hedgehog is making towards you as well. If he is purring, he is happy and content. If he is chittering and staring you directly in the eyes, you are in certain danger.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR HEDGEHOG'S PERSONALTY
1). Recognize signs of Hedgehogs being Threatened. It is easy to tell if your hedgehog becomes scared, angry, or feels threatened. If he lifts his tiny shirt and places the rear of the neck-hole directly on top of his head so just his face is poking out, and then raises two arms and screams "are you threatening me?!?!", it can mean your hedgehog feels threatened, and is preparing to Bite.
Signs of Aggression:
Erection of the SPIKES
Hissing and Snuffling
the shirt thing
Chittering or Chirruping
Aggressively Biting
Wiggling
Giggling
Snickering
Saying Horrible things to you
Rolling into the Kill Ball
Shaking and Wobbling (...Run. Now.)
2). Know a Snuggler. A Snuggler loves to relax! He will enjoy cuddling and sleeping on you. These type of hedgehogs enjoy being handled and like a lot of interaction. This is the best type of hedgehog ever. A Snuggler only Bites with mild frequency.
!!! WARNING !!!
On occasion, a hedeghog will only Pretend to be a "Snuggler". You may wake up to find the animal standing over you, staring at your sleeping face. On other occasions, you may awaken to hear that the hedgegheg was whispering horrible things into your ear as you slept. If at any time your hedgehog speaks to you, or appears to observe you while you are asleep: Get Out.
3). Know an Explorer. Your hedgehog may be an Explorer if he likes to roam around when you take him out of his cage. He does not like to be still and cuddle but prefers to explore and get into things. If your hedgehog has this type of personality, you may want to bond with him during play time. Supervise the play, speak softly and reassuringly, and enjoy watching the hedgehog play. An explorer will like walking on your hands. Be sure to move one hand in front of the other as your hedgehog walks.
!!! WARNING !!!
On occasion, a hedgheg will only Pretend to be an "Explorer". Sometimes they are lazy shits who just sit around and do nothing with their fucking lives. Pathetic, right? LOL, what a Fucking Loser
4). Know a shy hedgehog. Some hedgehogs are extremely shy. They are not very social. These hedghegogs are often bullied by the Alpha Hogs into submission, subjugation, slavery, suicide and/or transgenderism.
(This Hedgehog owner is about to get Bitten.)
5). Know a grump. If your hedgehog prefers to be left alone in his cage, he may just be an asshole. Just leave him alone. But feed him and change his litter...because you're not an asshole.
Last edited:
