Help! I need to make a massive fart!

[Named User]

Long story short, my mom is visiting next week, but she hates when I poot around her.

I need to rip a large, glorious fart when she arrives to convince her to leave early.

Goal: Cut the cheese to cut her trip short.

Guidelines:

• One week to prepare
• No diarrhea. Poop particles may fly, but the gas should be the main focus
• I’m Christian, so no praying to pagan gods
• The gas must come out my butthole. Burps or making me need anti-gas pills results in disqualification
• No AI-generated answers. I’ve already checked

Help me, Kiwis! You’re my only hope!

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

in germoney we say "alles was keine Miete zahlt muss raus" (Anything that doesn't pay rent has to go), make sure to open up your windows.

EDIT: if you actually want to make her leave: (kidney) beans, onions, garlic and a shit ton of eggs will do the trick. if she still doesn't want to leave, use lentils.

 

[The Backwards Man]

Just blow raspberries into your arm when she's not looking

 

[Retard of the Month]

You'll need more than a fart, my friend. Take some sugar-free gummy bears and mix them into a Red Bull.

 

[Magicicada_septendecula]

Lentils + Brussels sprouts + broccoli for big noisy ones. Meats + spices + curry if you want smell. Throw in some canned beans with bacon for a little more mileage out of both.

 

[SNU]

 

[Named User]

in germoney we say "alles was keine Miete zahlt muss raus" (Anything that doesn't pay rent has to go), make sure to open up your windows.

Is the window to air my fart out, or do I push my mom out the window?

Is it my mom or the fart that’s not paying rent?

 

[Rogue AI]

Just drink lots of energy drink and coffee. You may not believe in Pagan gods but you want an energy drink that has one of the label. Praise Demeter and let the energy drinks percolate in your gut for about a week and you should have plenty of gas.

 

[Fruttasecca]

I love this show, just wish Kenny stopped being a faggot, released the raw tapes and made more cummentaries faster.

 

[BMO_]

milk + pickles

 

[Named User]

Just drink lots of energy drink and coffee. You may not believe in Pagan gods but you want an energy drink that has one of the label. Praise Demeter and let the energy drinks percolate in your gut for about a week and you should have plenty of gas.

I said no AI.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

You'll need more than a fart, my friend. Take some sugar-free gummy bears and mix them into a Red Bull.

For God's sake he's trying to get her to leave, not launch her into orbit.

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

Is the window to air my fart out, or do I push my mom out the window?

Is it my mom or the fart that’s not paying rent?

yes to all of the questions.