Hire me!

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

I am a middle aged man with so-so looks and a below average sized penis, looking to make your company a better place in both efficiency and morale!

Education:
Bradford Mandatory School for the Medically Retarded (now called Everest College): GED
Francis' Beauty College: expelled
Dora's hair School: expelled
Pierre's Hair University: Graduated with honors

Work Experience:
Burger King: 2007- 2010
French Fry Specialist

The underpass at 35th Ave and US237: 2010-2017
Penis Maneuvering Associate

Bus Route 134: 2017- 2020
Senior Penis Maneuvering Associate

Spirit Halloween: various times between 2010- 2023
That guy that stands at the corner with a sign and reminds people we exist.

Kentucky Fried Chicken: 2020- current
Quality Control: Legs and Thighs



I also know Microsoft Office applications, I would be a valuable member of your team, and I thank you for your time!

 

[rel=alternate]

I don't hire dead people. Sounds like a scam to make me pay pension.

I'd also like to know more of what were your responsibilities. What makes you stand out from other penis maneuvering specialists. Why such a drastic change of career?

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Education:
Bradford Mandatory School for the Medically Retarded (now called Everest College): GED
Francis' Beauty College: expelled
Dora's hair School: expelled
Pierre's Hair University: Graduated with honors

I don't see Squidward Community College on there.

Rejected!

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

I don't see Squidward Community College on there.

Rejected!

That doesn't exist you silly

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

That doesn't exist you silly

Bet you feel silly now, nigger boy

 

[Fat Gollum]

You had me at below average sized penis.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

View attachment 6627369

Bet you feel silly now, nigger boy

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING NIGGER ASS FUCK ILL EAT YOU DOG AND FUCK THE ENTRAILS YOU FILTHY FUCK, I FUCK YOU CAR, IMPREGNATE IT AND NAME IT AFTER YOUR UNCLE, ILL SAY HI TO YOUR MOM BECAUSE SHES A NICE LADY AND SHE DONT NEED TO BE INVOVLED IN THIS!wow thats a good catch!

 

[MrTroll]

Everest? I only hire University of Phoenix grads. Sorry.

 

[Cats]

I did 4 moments inside Community College before I spit onto the floor and left the premises

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

I did 4 moments inside Community College before I spit onto the floor and left the premises

How many frames was that?

 

[Cats]

How many frames was that?

Let's see...4 whole moments...that's a tenth of a frame per moment. So, that comes out to 4/10ths of one frame. A new World Record.

 

[ShahOfIran1979]

NINTENDO

 

[Moonglade Feral Druid]

We regret to inform you, that you are overqualified for the position of Retard.

 

[Jason Wynn]

We'll keep your record on file and call you if we have any openings, Mr. Rogan

 

[Astro Loafo]

Honestly I actually do need help. And you do meet all the qualifications.