How do I buy a 60 Minutes episode?

[stares at error messages]

I want to buy a 60 Minutes episode. To be clean, I'm not looking to get a DVD of the 60 Minutes series. I want to set the topic and write the script of a real episode of 60 minutes that is then broadcast to the normal views of 60 Minutes and people who then watch it on YouTube re-upload channels. The topic I want to buy is conventional to the 60 Minutes brand.

Do they have, for instance, a way of contacting them to get pricing or a price schedule for what I am seeking to buy? Do they do paid episodes (I don't want them to admit I bought the rights to pick the episodes topic)?

Thanks.

 

[millais]

I think you have to blow Andy Rooney to get the ball rolling.

 

[stares at error messages]

I think you have to blow Andy Rooney to get the ball rolling.

I could buy him time with a prostitute. Would that work as well?

Roony died on November 4, 2011, so who's the current Andy Roony who I have to buy time with a prostitute for picking the 60 Minutes topic?

 

[Medulseur]

Out of curiosity, what would your episode of 60 Minutes be about?

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

I could buy him time with a prostitute. Would that work as well?

Roony died on November 4, 2011, so who's the current Andy Roony who I have to buy time with a prostitute for picking the 60 Minutes topic?

That would be Scott Smelly. You don't want to touch Lara Logan, she got gang-raped by a bunch of dirty Egyptians.

Also, it would help if your episode is pro-minority, artsy, or some kind of inspiring shit about people with disabilities. Anything too far-right won't fly.

60 Minutes Australia is far superior.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Announce that you have George W. Bush's hidden military records.

 

[Uncle Sid]

Start with trying to buy one of these two:

Neeraj Khemlani and Wendy McMahon Named Co-Heads of CBS News and CBS TV Stations

Zirinsky will shift to a production deal with parent company ViacomCBS.

www.hollywoodreporter.com

If you can't turn either of them, then this is their boss:

CBS Chief George Cheeks Sees ‘Brighter Days Ahead’ in Year-End Note

As the industry shutters for the Christmas and New Year holidays, CBS Entertainment Group chief George Cheeks marked his nine-month anniversary at the company with a year-end note to staffers that …

variety.com

 

[stares at error messages]

That would be Scott Smelly. You don't want to touch Lara Logan, she got gang-raped by a bunch of dirty Egyptians.

Also, it would help if your episode is pro-minority, artsy, or some kind of inspiring shit about people with disabilities. Anything too far-right won't fly.

60 Minutes Australia is far superior.

I'll have to make a note of that. Good advice.

 

[Red Hood]

Start with trying to buy one of these two:

Neeraj Khemlani and Wendy McMahon Named Co-Heads of CBS News and CBS TV Stations

Zirinsky will shift to a production deal with parent company ViacomCBS.

www.hollywoodreporter.com

If you can't turn either of them, then this is their boss:

CBS Chief George Cheeks Sees ‘Brighter Days Ahead’ in Year-End Note

As the industry shutters for the Christmas and New Year holidays, CBS Entertainment Group chief George Cheeks marked his nine-month anniversary at the company with a year-end note to staffers that …

variety.com

George Cheeks?

*snickers*