How do I explain to my parents that I ruptured my colon without them finding out about my dildo?

[Gay Joker]

I don't want them to think I'm gay, which I'm not btw, I just like stimulating my prostate. If they find out about my 14" ribbed anatomically correct dragon dildo, they might kick me out of the house.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Tell them you were raped by an illegal.

 

[DankSmoker]

Tell them you were trying to irrigate your bowels for health purposes.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

just be honest & say you fell over attempting a complicated dancing manoeuvre

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

This is what I did. I say I was driving alone out on a country road. All of a sudden a deer ran out in front of my car. I got so frightened that I jumped up and coincidentally my pants fell down at the same time. I accidentally landed on the gear shift and it went right up into my colorectal opening.

The deer was okay.

 

[The Mighty Banth]

They know.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

I miss read your question and thought you had raptured your colon and now you looked like ken doll

 

[CallmeCicada]

They probably already know about the dildo since they can't hear your farts anymore.

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

tell them your black school teacher did it