How do I get back Mario's cap?

Use the "N-word Block". It'll stun the monkey for about a second which is enough time to get the cap, but immediately start running once you get it. After his stun timer is over, the monkey will go into a blind rage and fire projectiles at you, he has really bad accuracy but one hit will make you lose a life.
 
Make his wife fall in love with you
Get her to claim he abusive and have her file for divorce
He goes to Jail and she takes his shit which includes the hat and gives it to you

Easy peasy.
 
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