How do I get this fat fuck unstuck from my chimney?

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

without starting a fire … it’s 40 fucking degrees

 

[Honored guest]

Get the butter

 

[SandyCat]

Get the butter

Demand compensation first. The fat asshole can give more than 1 present

 

[Mr. Bung]

Still too early bro, Santa comes Christmas Eve night. You're dealing with an imposter.

 

[skxllfxcker]

shove a broom up there, might dislodge him... or impale him (if ur brooms sharp enough)

 

[emptyblu]

Tickle his balls and once his muscles tense up he will easily slide out

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

This is why I make sure to keep an extra long cattle prod next to my fireplace at all times.

 

[Hellspawn]

Blast the fucker with a couple of brass slugs.