- Joined
- Dec 7, 2018
How do you define Love?
- Thread starter Shadfan666xxx000
- Start date
A neuro-chemical interaction that compels someone to view and act in their own disinterest (and or warp their own beliefs) for someone or something else.
The abused do love their abusers in most cases and people do love brands despite how little the brands care about them. Love can be both negative and positive depending on the person in question because we are all slightly different (be it due to biology or experience) and the neuro-chemical interaction changes from person to person. I have described negative examples of love, but positive ones exist within the family structure, healthy romantic partnerships, and strong friendships.
Ultimately though, it is a neuro-chemical interaction that we don't fully understand because the human brain is still largely a mystery to us. We will one day, but not anytime soon.
The abused do love their abusers in most cases and people do love brands despite how little the brands care about them. Love can be both negative and positive depending on the person in question because we are all slightly different (be it due to biology or experience) and the neuro-chemical interaction changes from person to person. I have described negative examples of love, but positive ones exist within the family structure, healthy romantic partnerships, and strong friendships.
Ultimately though, it is a neuro-chemical interaction that we don't fully understand because the human brain is still largely a mystery to us. We will one day, but not anytime soon.
Jeff Boomhauer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2020
So just to be clear here, you're asking me"What is love?"
Screed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2021
FUCK. Beat me to it.
CAPTAIN HAPPY
kiwifarms.net
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- Jun 24, 2021
Unconditional, true, so true that it will kick your ass when you're untrue to it. And always concentual.
It's way fucking harder than most people think, but never is it not worth it.
It's way fucking harder than most people think, but never is it not worth it.
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2018
Joan Crawford said it best:
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
Something you feel towards people that are important in your life that you would be happy calling family.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2020
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2021
What is Love?
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
There is consummate love, platonic love and familial love. The love one has for a partner (consummate) isn't lessened by the love one has for a child (familial) or their friend (platonic). It's like having separate bank accounts or different crypto investments.
Why Love?
Humans are naturally social creatures and finding acceptance and community becomes an essential part of our struggle for identity and happiness. To be loved is to be accepted for who you are as a person and is a validation of your self concept.
I suspect you were talking about romantic love. So lets look at that.
This is the Sternberg model(1994,2004). There are 7 outcomes possible here. (Im going clockwise)
Not everyone is the same though. Some people can live happily without consummate love. Not everyone is willing to make the nessecary emotional and physical accomodations/effort for a true & honest partnership. Real relationships take constant work to keep them to a consummate level. Not everyone wants to or can do that. But other forms of love can take its place here between familial and platonic love. If you don't want to change yourself even the slightest to help accommodate a partner, you're not ready to love.
What Makes it Worth It?
The payoff of consummate love is what makes it worth it. If this level was not worth it than nobody would do it. The fact that people since the dawn of time have been taking on these partnerships (beyond that of business transactions, etc.) means that even to the utmost skeptic, there is likely something there of value to most people.
Chemicals of Love:
Neuropsychology/ Endocrinology Autism Warning (I tried to keep it simple for the laykiwi to understand).
Sexual Attraction Chemicals:
Testosterone
Both men and women receive a testosterone spike around a partner they find attractive. Women's testosterone levels stay HIGHER when in a long term relationship. Men eventually go to LOWER levels of T in long term relationships (Carter, 1998 )
According to Carter, the lower T levels would drop horny levels and aggression in men while raising them in women which are needed to facilitate bonding.(1998 )
Early Relationship Chemicals
Phenylethylamine
Phenylethylamine ( PEA) is a neurotransmitter stimulant thought to be released when falling in love as it helps promote dopamine and is a naturally occuring anti-depressant in humans. It what is thought to give recently formed couples that extra boost due to its connection to dopamine and anti-depressants. It is also naturally found in chocolate and bitter almonds (and processing of food in the body hence why deathfats might deathfat)! While this claim is currently unsubstantiated by the medfag community, it's probability is decently high and it's interesting so I'm including it.
Dopamine
Dopamine gives you mad energy. It's exhilarating, fun and happy. This is what is released in newly formed couples. A lot of people can become addicted to this type of relationship (see: chronically relationship hopping people who can't be single to save their own life.) People who always seek these relationships but maybe never outlast a few months are generally junkies for dopamine.
When this type of relationship fails, the emotional crash and sometimes depression that follows is the same as what people feel when they stop taking amphetamines or other stimulants.( This is of course without taking into account loss of a loved one).
Cortisol
Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland after a period of stress to return the body to normal homeostasis. This hormone lowers in levels once the relationship becomes more secure and longer term. Like a chemical sigh of relief because socializing with new people (even ones platonically) raises stress in humans. This is also released when you get to really know someone.
Long Term Relationship Chemicals
Oxytocin.
Unpartnered white male et.al (2017)
Oxytocin is released in platonic love relationships as well as consummate/romantic loves. So seeing your pets and friends can be just as rewarding. It is also released in new mothers after birth and during lactation to help her bond to her infant. Included this meme because it always makes me laugh and it has a half-truth in it.
Oxytocin is a slowburn and your levels spike when you see or are with someone you love. (Hence why I said single people who don't want to change can be happy). Oxytocin is released more in long term relationships and gives someone a stability feeling. It reduces anxiety. This is The Good Chemical. Your goal is to get here and not get high on that Dopamine.
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
There is consummate love, platonic love and familial love. The love one has for a partner (consummate) isn't lessened by the love one has for a child (familial) or their friend (platonic). It's like having separate bank accounts or different crypto investments.
Why Love?
Humans are naturally social creatures and finding acceptance and community becomes an essential part of our struggle for identity and happiness. To be loved is to be accepted for who you are as a person and is a validation of your self concept.
I suspect you were talking about romantic love. So lets look at that.
This is the Sternberg model(1994,2004). There are 7 outcomes possible here. (Im going clockwise)
- Liking someone (only attraction)
- Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment)
- Empty Love (commitment alone)
- Fatuous Love (Passion + Commitment)
- Infatuation (passion alone)
- Romantic love (intimacy + passion)
- Consummate Love (intimacy+ passion + commitment)
Not everyone is the same though. Some people can live happily without consummate love. Not everyone is willing to make the nessecary emotional and physical accomodations/effort for a true & honest partnership. Real relationships take constant work to keep them to a consummate level. Not everyone wants to or can do that. But other forms of love can take its place here between familial and platonic love. If you don't want to change yourself even the slightest to help accommodate a partner, you're not ready to love.
What Makes it Worth It?
The payoff of consummate love is what makes it worth it. If this level was not worth it than nobody would do it. The fact that people since the dawn of time have been taking on these partnerships (beyond that of business transactions, etc.) means that even to the utmost skeptic, there is likely something there of value to most people.
Chemicals of Love:
Neuropsychology/ Endocrinology Autism Warning (I tried to keep it simple for the laykiwi to understand). Sexual Attraction Chemicals:
Testosterone
Both men and women receive a testosterone spike around a partner they find attractive. Women's testosterone levels stay HIGHER when in a long term relationship. Men eventually go to LOWER levels of T in long term relationships (Carter, 1998 )
According to Carter, the lower T levels would drop horny levels and aggression in men while raising them in women which are needed to facilitate bonding.(1998 )
Early Relationship Chemicals
Phenylethylamine
Phenylethylamine ( PEA) is a neurotransmitter stimulant thought to be released when falling in love as it helps promote dopamine and is a naturally occuring anti-depressant in humans. It what is thought to give recently formed couples that extra boost due to its connection to dopamine and anti-depressants. It is also naturally found in chocolate and bitter almonds (and processing of food in the body hence why deathfats might deathfat)! While this claim is currently unsubstantiated by the medfag community, it's probability is decently high and it's interesting so I'm including it.
Dopamine
Dopamine gives you mad energy. It's exhilarating, fun and happy. This is what is released in newly formed couples. A lot of people can become addicted to this type of relationship (see: chronically relationship hopping people who can't be single to save their own life.) People who always seek these relationships but maybe never outlast a few months are generally junkies for dopamine.
When this type of relationship fails, the emotional crash and sometimes depression that follows is the same as what people feel when they stop taking amphetamines or other stimulants.( This is of course without taking into account loss of a loved one).
Cortisol
Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland after a period of stress to return the body to normal homeostasis. This hormone lowers in levels once the relationship becomes more secure and longer term. Like a chemical sigh of relief because socializing with new people (even ones platonically) raises stress in humans. This is also released when you get to really know someone.
Long Term Relationship Chemicals
Oxytocin.
Unpartnered white male et.al (2017)
Oxytocin is released in platonic love relationships as well as consummate/romantic loves. So seeing your pets and friends can be just as rewarding. It is also released in new mothers after birth and during lactation to help her bond to her infant. Included this meme because it always makes me laugh and it has a half-truth in it.
Oxytocin is a slowburn and your levels spike when you see or are with someone you love. (Hence why I said single people who don't want to change can be happy). Oxytocin is released more in long term relationships and gives someone a stability feeling. It reduces anxiety. This is The Good Chemical. Your goal is to get here and not get high on that Dopamine.
Carter CS. (199
Neuroendocrine perspectives on social attachment and love. Psychoneuroendocrinology 23(:779-818
Sternberg, R. J. (2004). A Triangular Theory of Love. In H. T. Reis & C. E. Rusbult (Eds.), Close relationships: Key readings (pp. 213–227). Taylor & Francis.
Unpartnered white male anons (2017). 4chan. The Purring Jew. No.105996350.
Neuroendocrine perspectives on social attachment and love. Psychoneuroendocrinology 23(:779-818Sternberg, R. J. (2004). A Triangular Theory of Love. In H. T. Reis & C. E. Rusbult (Eds.), Close relationships: Key readings (pp. 213–227). Taylor & Francis.
Unpartnered white male anons (2017). 4chan. The Purring Jew. No.105996350.
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2015
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2018
The ability to share your personal life, time and privacy with someone for an extended period of time, where the urge to kill them is lower than expected. that's love.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2020
- Joined
- May 3, 2019
Who hurt you?
Nah, it's just your neuro-chemistry making you think that.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2018
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2019
The loves of your life are the ones with whom you build your life. You can’t know who they are until you‘ve built your lives together. So, your spouse and your children. They are the loves of your life.
cummytummies
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2021
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2021
- It begins with Lust to convince you to be curious, although I don't think I fell in love until she fell asleep on me? Hard to remember.
- Then Love becomes a familiarity, and increasingly a noticing when you are without the other person, I once went to make a joke about a painting in a store and she wasn't there. I oddly felt very disappointed, like If you lose a key down a crack and you stare at the crack for probably too long.
- Finally it becomes a protective instinct for not just the person but also their thoughts, hobbies, and dreams. Love is fundamentally about being unanchored, love either changes you or you are not really going to stay in love but drift apart.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
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- Apr 12, 2020
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- Mar 27, 2019
The mindset that consistently motivates one to act in the best interests of another for the sake of said other, as well as the acts produced by this state of mind.