How do you sing next to someone who is confidently (and loudly) wrong without it throwing you off?

[OrionBalls]

I think this is a standard choir question. Also, is it wrong to throat punch him so the audience doesn't only hear his voice, overpowering the entire section?

 

[LimeRikki]

Also, is it wrong to throat punch him

So long as you can throw the punch without it throwing you off, I'd say a throat punch is the most sensible solution.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

In the moment you're just going to need to sing from your diaphragm to contest them. Hopefully that alpha energy will make him fall in line. If that doesn't work, outside of performance you're going to have to use some type of religious manipulation to undermine their confidence.
Unfortunately without knowing your specific religious affiliation it's difficult to know exactly how to go about that. Maybe consider calling his wife fat?

Still, surely all throughout history the problem of bad choir singers has been an issue and they've managed to deal with it somehow. You can do it.

 

[OrionBalls]

In the moment you're just going to need to sing from your diaphragm to contest them. Hopefully that alpha energy will make him fall in line. If that doesn't work, outside of performance you're going to have to use some type of religious manipulation to undermine their confidence.
Unfortunately without knowing your specific religious affiliation it's difficult to know exactly how to go about that. Maybe consider calling his wife fat?

Still, surely all throughout history the problem of bad choir singers has been an issue and they've managed to deal with it somehow. You can do it.

He's an important person in the church... And look, I appreciate that God is moving him to sing with his entire spirit, but he's right in my good ear. But about 10ft higher in the air.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Sing from the depths of your cold black soul.

 

[Fat Gollum]

Sing louder and wronger. Sing like Roger Waters where you close your vocal cords and force the sound out completely out of tune.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I mean, depends on the situation and what you're willing to do as a consequence.

A stream of consciousness if I were in your shoes: can I tell this person that they're singing poorly? Should I tell them? Can I raise the question to the organizer then? Are these their standards, to have someone singing like this? Am I OK with their standards? If I am, will this affect me in a way that I deem unacceptable? Do I want to do this at all under these circumstances? Etc, etc.

I don't know you nor your motivations, the logical way in my view is to consider what I've asked to myself, weigh the pros and cons, determine if there's any way I can change the con, then decide on the final picture if it's worth it.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Start singing in a completely different language, preferably one that sounds harsh, like Russian or German, while staring right into his eyes.

 

[OrionBalls]

Start singing in a completely different language, preferably one that sounds harsh, like Russian or German, while staring right into his eyes.

That's not professional, to turn away from the audience, like that!

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

That's not professional, to turn away from the audience, like that!

I mean, you could move that other guy to face you while staying facing the audience, right? But if that is also a no go, do the same but standing behind him getting really really close. That should probably achieve the same effect

 

[Legalize Asbestos]

He's an important person in the church... And look, I appreciate that God is moving him to sing with his entire spirit, but he's right in my good ear. But about 10ft higher in the air.

Don't you guys do a few warm-ups with the piano? Is he the sort of person who'll respond well to being shown he is off-key? Do you not have a conductor who singles out people and gets them tuned up? Or is it just a very slapdash thing where anyone with tonsils can join.

 

[OrionBalls]

Don't you guys do a few warm-ups with the piano? Is he the sort of person who'll respond well to being shown he is off-key? Do you not have a conductor who singles out people and gets them tuned up? Or is it just a very slapdash thing where anyone with tonsils can join.

The conductor has called him out, during practice. Weirdly, no, we do not do warm-ups and never have, in the entire history of the show. Most of the singers can sight read. Yes, it being a church thing means everyone with a desire to sing can join.

I mean, you could move that other guy to face you while staying facing the audience, right? But if that is also a no go, do the same but standing behind him getting really really close. That should probably achieve the same effect

So, this is the stage... I had the wonderful luck of ending up directly in front of him.

 

[OrionBalls]

I mean, depends on the situation and what you're willing to do as a consequence.

A stream of consciousness if I were in your shoes: can I tell this person that they're singing poorly? Should I tell them? Can I raise the question to the organizer then? Are these their standards, to have someone singing like this? Am I OK with their standards? If I am, will this affect me in a way that I deem unacceptable? Do I want to do this at all under these circumstances? Etc, etc.

I don't know you nor your motivations, the logical way in my view is to consider what I've asked to myself, weigh the pros and cons, determine if there's any way I can change the con, then decide on the final picture if it's worth it.

I can't change it, now. If I were a different and more confident singer, I might have been able to tell him he's off, but we're so short on participation anyway, that this will probably be our last year doing it for awhile, at least until more of the twenty-something year-olds are able to leave their kids home unattended for periods of time. (I'm sad, but also kind if grateful for that, the tree is a pain in the ass to build, and fixing the holes in the greenery, and then hours putting up the lights, and so such. Again, we are short on participation.) But, I will glorify God, anyway. He doesn't care about pitch or tone, just that we mean what we sing and remember to come to Him.


I want to thank everyone for answering. I was in a grumpy and stressed place when I posted the question. Merry Christmas!

 

[Legalize Asbestos]

He doesn't care about pitch or tone, just that we mean what we sing and remember to come to Him.

I guess all those monks who developed Gregorian Chant, our entire seven note system of harmonics, and the world's largest instrument (the church organ) were just mistaken in their pursuits then. Letting some off-key member be smarmy and continue to suck is what drives talent and interest out of church activities to begin with. Better your church have a quartet that can sing than a rabble that only mumbles.

Save the bad-singing for Christmas caroling.