- Joined
- Jun 14, 2018
I'm going to attempt to avoid powerleveling as much as possible except for minute details where necessary to provide context. If this thread is in the wrong place or is otherwise too exceptional please feel free to shame me and nuke it.
Lately we've been fortunate enough to be able to hire people at a more competitive rate. This has brought a flood of new applicants to our security company. But, as y'all already know, the more people generally gathered in one area the higher the probability that a portion of them are spergs. We've hired and fired a few but this one reeeeeeeeally stands out. He's definitely got some brain issues. There's a visible scar on the back of his head, his social acumen leaves much to be desired, and he doesn't seem to be able to hold focus on a single thought or topic. Maybe downs? Maybe brain damage? He's essentially a 32 year old pre-teen, mentally. Like a Chris-chan who actually has to hold down a job because the cost of living in this region is so astronomical.
This guy, we'll call him Damien for now, is a right winger. And tonight at work, after the last few nights of me saying that in the workplace he'd kinda have to mind what he says as we are in a very notoriously liberal city and serve some of the wealthiest of them while on the clock, began asking unprovoked questions about bail bonds and gun rights and how long the "fedril guvmit" could legally confiscate his weapons during an ongoing investigation.
Curious as to the line of questioning, I asked him how all of this stuff is related. This dude begins to tell me this story of how he had gone to a russian massage parlor that was clothing optional, as most are, and thought this was a green light to try and initiate or coax a happy ending from one of the employees and was subsequently kicked out and banned by the proprietor. He then apparently called to ask how long this ban was going to be and, upon hearing it was indefinite, then made multiple phone calls threatening to shoot up the place, resulting in at least one evacuation incident for that business and all others that share the same building. At the same time he's telling me about the guns he's collected and what his preference of grip is. He then informs me that he's currently under investigation and going to court for the threats he made over the phone and bemoaning that, in the meantime, his weapons were seized.
He also claims he's been in a foursome with three women - which is hard for me to buy since his understanding of common sexual behavior is so limited that he thought every massage establishment is also a whore house.
Essentially every time I come on shift this dude wants to yak at me as though I'm some kind of lawyer/psychiatrist/search engine hybrid and, in the process, powerlevels himself doing the most exceptional shit that anyone with a normally functioning brain would probably omit while at work. Especially while talking to their boss. And he does it so casually... really no sense of self-preservation. He's happy to go on, at length, about what should be considered the most embarrassing or otherwise criminal details of his life. But it's kind of endearing because he also is kind of simultaneously looking for advice or guidance in some cases. It's annoying to have someone talk at me so much all night but it makes me think the potential for lulz is great if I could just tap into whatever his social media is.
But I'm a boomer. There's a lot of shit I don't fully understand. I'm not sure whether this is a potentially worthy lolcow or, if so, how to begin the cultivation process so that Damien may be properly shared with the community. But I feel like this is an undiscovered gem just waiting for a good polishing.
Thoughts?
Lately we've been fortunate enough to be able to hire people at a more competitive rate. This has brought a flood of new applicants to our security company. But, as y'all already know, the more people generally gathered in one area the higher the probability that a portion of them are spergs. We've hired and fired a few but this one reeeeeeeeally stands out. He's definitely got some brain issues. There's a visible scar on the back of his head, his social acumen leaves much to be desired, and he doesn't seem to be able to hold focus on a single thought or topic. Maybe downs? Maybe brain damage? He's essentially a 32 year old pre-teen, mentally. Like a Chris-chan who actually has to hold down a job because the cost of living in this region is so astronomical.
This guy, we'll call him Damien for now, is a right winger. And tonight at work, after the last few nights of me saying that in the workplace he'd kinda have to mind what he says as we are in a very notoriously liberal city and serve some of the wealthiest of them while on the clock, began asking unprovoked questions about bail bonds and gun rights and how long the "fedril guvmit" could legally confiscate his weapons during an ongoing investigation.
Curious as to the line of questioning, I asked him how all of this stuff is related. This dude begins to tell me this story of how he had gone to a russian massage parlor that was clothing optional, as most are, and thought this was a green light to try and initiate or coax a happy ending from one of the employees and was subsequently kicked out and banned by the proprietor. He then apparently called to ask how long this ban was going to be and, upon hearing it was indefinite, then made multiple phone calls threatening to shoot up the place, resulting in at least one evacuation incident for that business and all others that share the same building. At the same time he's telling me about the guns he's collected and what his preference of grip is. He then informs me that he's currently under investigation and going to court for the threats he made over the phone and bemoaning that, in the meantime, his weapons were seized.
He also claims he's been in a foursome with three women - which is hard for me to buy since his understanding of common sexual behavior is so limited that he thought every massage establishment is also a whore house.
Essentially every time I come on shift this dude wants to yak at me as though I'm some kind of lawyer/psychiatrist/search engine hybrid and, in the process, powerlevels himself doing the most exceptional shit that anyone with a normally functioning brain would probably omit while at work. Especially while talking to their boss. And he does it so casually... really no sense of self-preservation. He's happy to go on, at length, about what should be considered the most embarrassing or otherwise criminal details of his life. But it's kind of endearing because he also is kind of simultaneously looking for advice or guidance in some cases. It's annoying to have someone talk at me so much all night but it makes me think the potential for lulz is great if I could just tap into whatever his social media is.
But I'm a boomer. There's a lot of shit I don't fully understand. I'm not sure whether this is a potentially worthy lolcow or, if so, how to begin the cultivation process so that Damien may be properly shared with the community. But I feel like this is an undiscovered gem just waiting for a good polishing.
Thoughts?
