How to buy a riot

[stares at error messages]

Yes, I literally mean how do I call up some agency and then they set a time and a date to get a bunch of people to just sit around it public and protest. When I say riot I include any kind of protest in that definition.

I remember some claims last summer's (2020) BLM crap in California was all paid for by some outside party. There were some claims that pallet of bricks were delivered to 'protesters' to 'use' and that the bricks obviously weren't part of the original intent of some of the people who congratulated. (But only arguably. It is a riot after all.)

At some other point I think there was an interview posted about a man who was paid to show up to a protest in DC and shout thing from the crowd. This is like going back 5 years and is not connected to BLM. Like you can just buy actors to be your protestors or something.

Basically, it's been solidifying in my mind for a while that protests are synthetic acts of commerce that you can by like any other consumer good.

So I put it to you, "How do I (or any one) buy a riot?"

1. Are there agencies that specialize in setting up riots?
2. Can I buy black rioters at a higher price?
3. How much does a riot cost?
4. Can it be as easy as ordering a moving company or food delivery?
5. Are there limits to what times and dates when I can order a riot to occur?
6. Do pallets of bricks cost extra or are the bricks included in the base price?

I can only see positive business opportunists for a riot for heir business, but they don't seem to offer a website to do orders. Really it should be a onion service, but that's besides the point. For example if a white man get shot by the police, his family could buy a riot in his honer. Normally whites just say, 'he had it coming' when a white man is killed by the police; whites are a very different culture from niggers. Niggers in the same situation would riot and turn the whole town into H&M. Why should white people miss out on this expressive from of public discontent? No longer must whites git and take it, buy a riot today.

Where the fuck are these services. I can buy a hooker on the Internet but not riot. That's a ripoff.

Null, would probably kick me if I don't say this:
I am interested in riot service for all legal purposes and or means and don't advocate violence. This post is mainly meant as a thought experiment.

 

[Milkis]

can I see your circumcision first, sir?

 

[UncleFezziesPantsPuppet]

When in doubt, Craigslist is your answer.

 

[Kiwisee]

It’d be easier just buy $2500 worth of crack and use it to bribe crackheads into doing your bidding. They are a fire off and forget militia that won’t snitch you out because they’ll be too high to remember what you look like.

I knew a guy who did that just to chase trannies out of his neighbourhood.

 

[stares at error messages]

can I see your circumcision first, sir?

I am a tribe member.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

It's way easier to just buy out influencers to promote your shit and then appear to be legitimate because the amount of retards doing shit for free (especially when they are promised government gibs later if they succeed) shouldn't be scoffed at.

 

[JamusActimus]

I am a tribe member.

Which casino are you from?

 

[totallyrandomusername]

It wouldn't be difficult if you are using the right angle involving the internet. You wouldn't even necessarily need to spend much/any money. Just find a flashpoint (anything in your community that would make the majority of people that are activists angry), go to reddit/craigslist/twitter/facebook and advertise that you think its crap and action is needed. You'd have to make sure you are passionate in your writing, as well as empathetic, but use language that is highly charged, likely to stir people to action and you could easily get a group of people together to riot.