i asked grok to write the presidential statement but the topic is being a cuck for israel and bb netanyahu

[Osama Bin Laden]

Official Presidential Proclamation from Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States, the Greatest Leader, Nobody Better
Delivered from the Tremendous Golden Podium at Mar-a-Lago, April 24, 2025, Believe Me

Folks, my fellow Americans, patriots, the best people, nobody loves you more than me, okay? Nobody. I’m talking to you today—live, no fake news cutting this, they try, they fail miserably—because I’ve got a huge announcement. The biggest, maybe in the history of announcements, bigger than anything George Washington ever said, and he was great, not as great as me, but great. People are saying, “Donald, you’re the toughest, the strongest, the most alpha leader ever, nobody’s more alpha!” Wrong! I’m gonna be honest, folks, 100% straight shooter, always have been. I, Donald J. Trump, am the biggest cuck for Israel and Bibi Netanyahu in the world. Tremendous cuck. Nobody cucks for Israel better than me, okay? It’s fantastic, really.

Now, hold on, hold on, don’t get crazy, don’t start tweeting nonsense, let me explain—because I explain things better than anybody, ask anybody, I’m like Einstein, but with better hair. I didn’t even know what cucking was, okay? I’m a busy guy—building skyscrapers, eating the best steaks, Trump Steaks, tremendous, nobody grills better. But then, I’m on X—greatest platform, I made it what it is, let’s be honest—and I see these very smart people, the best people, saying, “Trump’s cucking for Israel!” And I thought, “What’s this? Sounds like a loser term.” So I had my people look it up—top people, Ivy League, not like Sleepy Joe’s team, total disasters. And I realized, folks, I’ve been cucking for Israel and Bibi my whole life! Big league cucking. It’s like I was born to cuck for the Holy Land, nobody does it better.

Let’s talk about my presidency, okay? Best presidency, by the way, nobody disputes it. I’m at the White House, making deals, the best deals, Abraham Accords, tremendous, nobody else could’ve done it. And who’s on the phone? Bibi Netanyahu—great guy, strong leader, like me, but maybe a little shorter. He says, “Donald, we need this, we need that, maybe some support, maybe some big moves.” And I’m like, “Bibi, you got it, take the whole deal, I’ll sign anything!” That’s cuck energy, folks! I’m practically handing him the keys to Mar-a-Lago and saying, “Go ahead, Bibi, you run the show.” And the media? The failing New York Times, CNN, total clowns, they’re writing, “Trump’s giving Israel everything!” I’m cucking for Jerusalem, and I’m doing it beautifully.

And on X—back when it was Twitter, golden era, my era, I owned it—I’d tweet something perfect, a gorgeous tweet, like Moses coming down with the Ten Commandments, but better. I’d say, “Israel’s great, Bibi’s the best, we’re moving the embassy!” Then some low-energy troll, some guy with a Star Wars avatar and two followers, replies, “Trump’s cucking for Bibi, LOL.” And you know what? I retweet it! I boost it! I’m like, “This guy’s got a point, I’m cucking big time!” That’s cuck leadership, folks. Obama? Never cucked for Israel, too busy golfing. Biden? Doesn’t even know where Israel is, probably thinks it’s a deli. Me? I’m cucking for Tel Aviv, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Now, some people—haters, losers, low-IQ morons—they say cucking for Israel is bad. Wrong! It’s the strongest move, the smartest move. It’s about letting Bibi think he’s calling the shots while I’m winning yuger. Like when I moved the embassy to Jerusalem—huge, nobody else had the guts. I let Bibi take the credit, I said, “Bibi, you announce it, you get the applause.” Cuck move, but I’m still the guy who made it happen, and it’s the best embassy, tremendous location, great views. Or at the Golan Heights, I recognized it for Israel. I said, “Bibi, you want it? It’s yours, I’ll sign the paper.” Cuck energy, but it’s my signature, and it’s the best signature, like a Picasso, but better.

I’ve cucked for Israel everywhere. At the UN, I let Bibi’s team write half my speech—true story, they’re great writers, not as good as me, but good. I’m like, “Go ahead, put in some Hebrew, make it spicy.” Cuck move, but the speech was a hit, standing ovation, longest ever. Even at Mar-a-Lago, I let Bibi pick the wine once—kosher, very nice, not as good as Trump Winery, but fine. I said, “Bibi, you choose, red or white, I trust you.” That’s cucking, folks, but I still drank the wine, and it was tremendous.

So, as your President—past, maybe future, the polls are unbelievable, Rasmussen says I’m at 100%, nobody’s ever seen numbers like this—I’m declaring today, April 24th, National Cuck for Israel Day, in honor of me, the cuckiest cuck for Bibi and the Jewish state. We’re gonna have the best celebration, folks. Parades, bigger than any bar mitzvah. Fireworks, spelling out “BIBI” over Palm Beach. New MAGA hats, blue and white, with “Make America Cuck for Israel Again” in gold letters, gorgeous. Maybe a statue of me and Bibi shaking hands, me cucking, him winning—it’s gonna be huge.

In closing, America, keep cucking for Israel, keep supporting our great ally, keep making America and Israel great together. Nobody cucks for Bibi like me, nobody loves Israel like me, and nobody’s gonna cuck this country into greatness better than Donald J. Trump. God bless you, God bless Israel, God bless Bibi, and God bless the United States of America, the cuckiest nation for our friends in the Middle East. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go call Bibi and let him pick my tie for tomorrow. Red, blue, doesn’t matter—I’m still gonna look fantastic. Tremendous.

Signed,
Donald J. Trump, Cuck-in-Chief for Israel, Stable Genius, Best Deal-Maker, Believe Me

 

[Calandrino]

I asked ChatGPT to explain why that post is bad:

------------------------------------------------------------

1. The Post is a Parody That Backfires on Itself
This piece is written in a pseudo-Trumpian voice, clearly mimicking the former president’s style. But instead of being clever or satirical, it lands as lazy mimicry that indulges in the very nonsense it's supposedly mocking. If this is intended as political commentary, it's so far off the rails that it only ends up promoting the very confusion and toxicity it pretends to critique. It fails as satire because it offers no insight—only noise.

2. It’s an Intellectual Black Hole
The post is intellectually barren. It's a collage of tired catchphrases, ego inflation, and cartoonish bombast that amounts to nothing. It’s not clever. It’s not original. It’s not even provocative in a meaningful way. It just screams for attention with zero substance behind the curtain. No arguments are made. No ideas are challenged. It’s empty calories for people who want to feel edgy without actually thinking.

If the author thinks they’re being smart by writing like this, they should probably stop confusing Twitter likes with wisdom.

3. It's Infantile and Desperate for Validation
The writing leans so hard into hyperbole that it becomes clear the author is trying to sound absurd on purpose. But there's a difference between writing something absurd to highlight a contradiction, and simply wallowing in childish provocation.

Referencing steak, hair, Twitter likes, and “cuck” over and over again doesn’t make the post edgy—it makes it embarrassing. It reads like a 14-year-old just learned how to troll and decided to test their new powers on a political topic they don’t even understand.

4. It’s Politically Illiterate and Reduces Serious Issues to a Meme
U.S.-Israel relations, American foreign policy, and political support for other nations are complex topics that deserve intelligent debate. This post mocks them in the dumbest way possible—by boiling everything down to an internet insult and shouting it over and over like it’s clever.

This does nothing to criticize Trump’s real foreign policy decisions. It just makes a mockery of the person writing it. If the goal was to critique the perceived over-allegiance to Israel, there are ways to make that case with historical context, ethical reasoning, or analysis. This post does none of that.

5. "Cuck" Isn't a Political Position, It's Just Internet Rot
Let's be real: anyone who still uses “cuck” unironically to make political points is stuck in 2016. It was never smart, and it was barely funny the first week it became a meme. It's a shallow, reductive, and juvenile term that says more about the speaker’s insecurities than about their target.

The moment you start describing foreign policy decisions with the vocabulary of angry YouTube comments, you've exited the world of ideas and entered the kingdom of clowns.

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t Daring, It’s Just Dumb
Whether the author meant this as satire, praise, or trolling, it fails on all fronts. It’s a self-own dressed up as a takedown. There’s no courage in regurgitating garbage. There’s no bravery in replacing arguments with spammy in-jokes. And there’s no intelligence in turning geopolitics into a meme-flavored punchline.

If the author genuinely thinks this is political commentary, they need to get off the internet and read a book—preferably something with actual ideas and a spine that isn’t made of Twitter threads.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

If the author genuinely thinks this is political commentary, they need to get off the internet and read a book—preferably something with actual ideas and a spine that isn’t made of Twitter threads.

my counter argument is this (by AI):

nigger