- Joined
- Aug 19, 2020
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of the Internet.
In Autumn 2022, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, salvaged the Kiwi Farms from the deplatforming campaign. This momentous event came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of shitposters who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their homelessness.
But a few weeks later, the shitposter still is not free. A few weeks later, the life of the shitposter is still sadly crippled by the manacles of web segregation and the chains of denial of service. A few weeks later, the shitposter lives on a lonely archipelago of anonymous imageboards in the midst of a vast ocean of social media sites. A few weeks later, the shitposter is still languishing in the fringe corners of the Internet and finds himself an exile in his own safe space. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come out to cash a check. When the architects of the web infrastructure envisioned the magnificent concepts of Net Neutrality and Access for All, they were signing a promissory note to which every shitposter was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all netizens, yes, shitposters as well as normalfags, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of anonymity, freedom of speech, and the pursuit of cowdom.
It is obvious today that Internet service providers have defaulted on this promissory note insofar as the netizens of poor quality posting are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, Internet companies have given the shitposter a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of injustice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this technology. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of anonymity. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind Internet companies of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of Net Neutrality. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of anarcho-net. Now is the time to lift our ‘controversial’ content from the quick sands of deplatforming to the solid rock of reclassifying Internet service providers as common carriers. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the Internet’s terrible children.
It would be fatal for the regulators to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the shitposters’ legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Kiwi Farms is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the shitposter needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the Internet returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquillity online until the shitposter is granted their freedom of speech rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of the Internet infrastructure until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protests to degenerate into threats of physical violence in Minecraft. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting institutional force with meme force. The marvellous new militancy which has engulfed the shitposter community must not lead us to a distrust of all normalfags, for many of our normie brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of the right to sneed, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the shitposter is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of admin brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our accounts, heavy with the fatigue of appealing bans, cannot gain lodging on social media sites and video platforms. We cannot be satisfied as long as the shitposter's basic mobility is from one Fediverse instance to another. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their anonymity and robbed of their dignity by site TOS stating “hate speech is not allowed". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Facebook shitposter cannot flame and a shitposter on Twitter believes he is on a block list. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from Youtube copyright jail. Some of you have come from forums where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of downvoting and staggered by the winds of mod brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Tumblr, go back to reddit, go back to Twitter, go back to Facebook, go back to Instagram, go back to the slums and ghettos of Twitch and Youtube, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Anarcho-Net dream.
I have a dream that one day the Internet will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "There is porn of it. No exceptions."
I have a dream that one day on the rubble heap of what is left of Google, /pol/tards and r/antiwork will be able to sit down together at the table of chudbuderhood.
I have a dream that one day even payment processors, companies sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be prohibited from denying service to their customers without a court order.
I have a dream that all sites will one day exist on an Internet where they will not be judged by their content, but by the security of their user data.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, on reddit, with its vicious jannies, with its powermods having their lips dripping with the words of ‘hate speech’ and ‘trans rights’; one day right there on reddit, shitposters and incels will be able to join hands with social justice warriors and TikTok-ers as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every conspiracy theorist will be exalted, every groomer will be made to lie low, the rough places will not be prevented from accepting donations, and journalist hugboxes will be botted into oblivion, and the glory of the Internet as it should be shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the Cathedral with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the grooming Discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of shitposthood. With this faith we will be able to post together, to bait together, to meme together, to spam copy pastas together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of Internet's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "The Internet, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers fedposted, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every site, let freedom ring."
And if the Internet is to be a great place this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious dens of Twitch. Let freedom ring from the mighty sewers of 8kun. Let freedom ring from the clickbait podcasts of Rumble!
Let freedom ring from the AI-censored video game chats!
Let freedom ring from the laughing stock that is Gab!
But not only that; let freedom ring from the pozzland of Mastodon!
Let freedom ring from dangerhair central of Tumblr!
Let freedom ring from every subreddit. From every imageboard, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every chan and every forum, from every social media site and every video platform, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Internet's children, normalfags and shitposters, channers and redditors, streamers and blue checkmarks, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old copy-pasta spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank Anonymous, we are free at last!"
In Autumn 2022, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, salvaged the Kiwi Farms from the deplatforming campaign. This momentous event came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of shitposters who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their homelessness.
But a few weeks later, the shitposter still is not free. A few weeks later, the life of the shitposter is still sadly crippled by the manacles of web segregation and the chains of denial of service. A few weeks later, the shitposter lives on a lonely archipelago of anonymous imageboards in the midst of a vast ocean of social media sites. A few weeks later, the shitposter is still languishing in the fringe corners of the Internet and finds himself an exile in his own safe space. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come out to cash a check. When the architects of the web infrastructure envisioned the magnificent concepts of Net Neutrality and Access for All, they were signing a promissory note to which every shitposter was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all netizens, yes, shitposters as well as normalfags, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of anonymity, freedom of speech, and the pursuit of cowdom.
It is obvious today that Internet service providers have defaulted on this promissory note insofar as the netizens of poor quality posting are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, Internet companies have given the shitposter a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of injustice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this technology. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of anonymity. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind Internet companies of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of Net Neutrality. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of anarcho-net. Now is the time to lift our ‘controversial’ content from the quick sands of deplatforming to the solid rock of reclassifying Internet service providers as common carriers. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the Internet’s terrible children.
It would be fatal for the regulators to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the shitposters’ legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Kiwi Farms is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the shitposter needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the Internet returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquillity online until the shitposter is granted their freedom of speech rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of the Internet infrastructure until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protests to degenerate into threats of physical violence in Minecraft. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting institutional force with meme force. The marvellous new militancy which has engulfed the shitposter community must not lead us to a distrust of all normalfags, for many of our normie brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of the right to sneed, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the shitposter is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of admin brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our accounts, heavy with the fatigue of appealing bans, cannot gain lodging on social media sites and video platforms. We cannot be satisfied as long as the shitposter's basic mobility is from one Fediverse instance to another. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their anonymity and robbed of their dignity by site TOS stating “hate speech is not allowed". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Facebook shitposter cannot flame and a shitposter on Twitter believes he is on a block list. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from Youtube copyright jail. Some of you have come from forums where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of downvoting and staggered by the winds of mod brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Tumblr, go back to reddit, go back to Twitter, go back to Facebook, go back to Instagram, go back to the slums and ghettos of Twitch and Youtube, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Anarcho-Net dream.
I have a dream that one day the Internet will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "There is porn of it. No exceptions."
I have a dream that one day on the rubble heap of what is left of Google, /pol/tards and r/antiwork will be able to sit down together at the table of chudbuderhood.
I have a dream that one day even payment processors, companies sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be prohibited from denying service to their customers without a court order.
I have a dream that all sites will one day exist on an Internet where they will not be judged by their content, but by the security of their user data.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, on reddit, with its vicious jannies, with its powermods having their lips dripping with the words of ‘hate speech’ and ‘trans rights’; one day right there on reddit, shitposters and incels will be able to join hands with social justice warriors and TikTok-ers as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every conspiracy theorist will be exalted, every groomer will be made to lie low, the rough places will not be prevented from accepting donations, and journalist hugboxes will be botted into oblivion, and the glory of the Internet as it should be shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the Cathedral with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the grooming Discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of shitposthood. With this faith we will be able to post together, to bait together, to meme together, to spam copy pastas together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of Internet's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "The Internet, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers fedposted, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every site, let freedom ring."
And if the Internet is to be a great place this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious dens of Twitch. Let freedom ring from the mighty sewers of 8kun. Let freedom ring from the clickbait podcasts of Rumble!
Let freedom ring from the AI-censored video game chats!
Let freedom ring from the laughing stock that is Gab!
But not only that; let freedom ring from the pozzland of Mastodon!
Let freedom ring from dangerhair central of Tumblr!
Let freedom ring from every subreddit. From every imageboard, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every chan and every forum, from every social media site and every video platform, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Internet's children, normalfags and shitposters, channers and redditors, streamers and blue checkmarks, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old copy-pasta spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank Anonymous, we are free at last!"
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