I think I'm literally Hitler

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Turquoise

Turquoise

kiwifarms.net
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Oct 3, 2024
My life story bears a series of eerie parallels to the fuhrer's, which makes me think I am actually a reincarnation of the controversial leader.

First, I share his initials - my real name is Adrian Hogg - and I was born in the year, you guessed it, nineteen 88.

Aside from his political work, Hitler is most famous for having had only one testicle. Well, I have the full set but one looks much bigger than the other due to a benign growth down there. Surely our shared cases of scrotal asymmetry cannot be coincidence.

Hitler is also known for having failed at art school. In my case, I failed high school. Every class. Every dream trampled on.

It's well known that Hitler earned medals of honor for his bravery in WWI. Me, I can't get enough of games like COD, command and conquer and bomberman 2; all games which require bravery and military nous. In many ways, my gaming chair is a modern day trench near the French border.

Finally, Hitler is known for his seething and irrational hatred of the Jews. Me though, I have a burning hatred for the Indians. When I buy my cigarettes and 6 pack at Mr Singh's corner shop, I. always try and break wind before leaving the store, which is similar to the gassing crimes committed by Adolf.

So what do think, am I literally Hitler?
 
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My life story bears a series of eerie parallels to the Floyd’s, which makes me think I am actually a reincarnation of the famous kung.

First, I share his initials - my real name is Gabriel Fox - and I spoke my first words on, you guessed it, 8:46.

Aside from his political signifance, Floyd is most famous for rap. Well, I have always thought rap was my favorite genre of music and I enjoyed it since I was a child. Surely our shared cases of enjoying rap cannot be coincidence.

Floyd is also known for wanting to be a lawyer. In my case, I wanted to be a lawyer since childhood and still looking for it.

It's well known that Floyd earned murals for his bravery dealing with Derek Chauvin. Me, I can't get enough of games like GTA, fifa and Street Gangs which are all games which require bravery and hood nous. In many ways, my computer is fentanyl.

Finally, Floyd is known for his seething and irrational hatred of the Whites. Me though, I have a burning hatred for the Indians. When I buy my cigarettes and 6 pack at Mr Singh's corner shop, I. always try and counterfeit a bill before leaving the store, which is similar to the counterfeit money crimes committed by George.

So what do think, am I literally Floyd?
 
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No, hes literally me.
photo for context
drive-main.jpg
 
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My life story bears a series of eerie parallels to the Father of Nations', which makes me think I am actually a reincarnation of the controversial leader.

First, I share his initials - my real name is Jeremiah Simpson - and I was born in the year, you guessed it, nineteen 53.

Aside from his political work, Stalin is most famous for having had a moustache. Well, I have a moustache yet I am unable to grow any other facial hair. Surely our shared cases of shitty facial hair cannot be coincidence.

Stalin is also known for having failed to feed people. In my case, I failed to feed myself. I left a durian out overnight. The smell was horrible.

It's well known that Stalin was a gangster. Me, I can't get enough of games like GTA; a game about being a gangster. In many ways, my gaming chair is a modern day street.

Finally, Stalin is known for his seething and irrational hatred of Ukrainians. Me though, I have a burning hatred for the Anywaak. When I buy my cigarettes and 6 pack at Mr Leah's corner shop, I. always try and steal food before leaving the store, which is similar to the starving crimes committed by Stalin.

So what do think, am I literally Stalin?
 
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My life story bears a series of eerie parallels to the fuhrer's, which makes me think I am actually a reincarnation of the controversial leader.

First, I doxed myself.

I have testicular cancer.

I'm retarded.

I can't stop playing video games.

I'm not antisemitic but I think streetshitters are bad.

So what do think, am I literally Hitler?
 
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