TypicalSemite
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2022
I usually stare at TV static for about 16 hours and then go running. I run to the grocery store and ask for 10 plastic bags. The cashier notices my dead eyes and asks if I'm okay. I tell her I've been having Vietnam flashbacks, but that's a lie. I stare at TV static for 18 hours a day (I watch 2 more hours when I get back from running) and I've been doing that for about 8 years now. My grandma who takes care of me is pretty scared because sometimes I make static noises with my mouth and I don't even notice I'm doing it. My grandma doesn't come near me. One time she asked me to turn down the TV because I had the volume on the highest setting for 6 hours. That was the last thing she ever heard. I used my psychic powers to make her permanently deaf, but somehow her ears repaired within seconds. I was astonished. I had never witnessed such power. I agreed to turn down the TV, but I didn't actually turn it down.
I had never driven a car before, but I took my grandma's keys and drove to the grocery store. While inside the grocery store I made sure to run at every opportunity. I accidentally collided with a fellow customer. She was pretty shocked because from her perspective I ran at full speed directly at her and then tackled her into the floor. I couldn't help it, I had my eyes closed. I asked an employee if they sold extra loud surround sound speakers and subwoofers. She was too distracted by the bleeding woman that I had just tackled. I drove to BestBuy and purchased everything I needed to have the loudest TV static experience in the world. I got into several car accidents during the drive home. When I arrived, I noticed my grandma had left the TV on but with the volume lowered. I would not forget this. I spent a few hours watching TV static and then got to work assembling my new surround sound system. My grandma was asleep in her room with the door locked. I know the door was locked because I heard her lock it when I got home.
I had never driven a car before, but I took my grandma's keys and drove to the grocery store. While inside the grocery store I made sure to run at every opportunity. I accidentally collided with a fellow customer. She was pretty shocked because from her perspective I ran at full speed directly at her and then tackled her into the floor. I couldn't help it, I had my eyes closed. I asked an employee if they sold extra loud surround sound speakers and subwoofers. She was too distracted by the bleeding woman that I had just tackled. I drove to BestBuy and purchased everything I needed to have the loudest TV static experience in the world. I got into several car accidents during the drive home. When I arrived, I noticed my grandma had left the TV on but with the volume lowered. I would not forget this. I spent a few hours watching TV static and then got to work assembling my new surround sound system. My grandma was asleep in her room with the door locked. I know the door was locked because I heard her lock it when I got home.
