When I look at the achievments in my life that my parents are most proud of me for, they all pale in comparison to my literary excrement that splatters across the cosmos. I am special. Very very special, and with a special mind comes special needs. Specifically a special need to spread my anus agape and doody-blast the unwashed masses with my special sauce. But when I think of myself, ass agape and dripping with special pasta sauce, I realise just how gay the whole thing must seem. I'm so confused. Now read this post backwards for a special surprise!
