I'm doing one last job and I need a team

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I'm accepting applications for the following positions:

• Someone to climb the telephone poles and cut the phone lines
• Someone to disable the alarms
• Someone sexy to distract the guards
• Someone to drive the getaway van
• Someone who can hang upside-down
• Someone who can contort themselves into a box that will be delivered to the target
• Someone to deliver the box
• Someone sarcastic and tech-savvy as our hacker
• Someone who won't check in because something has gone horribly wrong
• Someone who'll double-cross us and reveal they were working for the target all along
• Someone twitchy who's good with explosives
• Someone who can bankroll this whole thing
• Someone to distract the target at the gala the night of the operation
• Someone to "acquire" the blueprints for the target location
• Someone who can cook a mean sponge cake
• Someone who can arm everyone for the operation
• Someone who will heroically volunteer to remain behind and buy time while the rest of us run
• Anyone who's up for one final job before going straight

I look forward to your applications.

 

[David Brown]

Someone to drive the getaway van

I drive.

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

I can be your blueprint acquisition guy.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

I'm your box man, granted it's gotta be a refrigerator box or something similar

 

[SNU]

I can hang upside down. Do I have to be quiet or can I make monkey noises? I'm also impossibly accurate while hip firing a rifle if that helps

 

[Godchu]

• Someone to climb the telephone poles and cut the phone lines
• Someone to disable the alarms
• Someone sexy to distract the guards
• Someone who can hang upside-down
• Someone who can contort themselves into a box that will be delivered to the target
• Someone to deliver the box
• Someone who won't check in because something has gone horribly wrong

Don't worry I know a guy

 

[eatler]

Someone sexy to distract the guards

I’m assuming we’re robbing null so therefore I shall be the distraction because he finds fat sexy.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

I’m in. And I’m definitely not the one who’s going to double-cross you.

 

[DOUBLE_WHEEL]

I’m in. And I’m definitely not the one who’s going to double-cross you.

I wanted to be the double crosser! I never get to be the double crosser!

Someone who won't check in because something has gone horribly wrong

I guess I'll be the guy that doesn't check in, again.

 

[HahaYes]

Someone sarcastic and tech-savvy as our hacker

I'm sure the Internet tough guys can help with that one.

Someone to deliver the box

Yoink

 

[Something Awful]

I'll make the wiki.

 

[Named User]

Obviously, I’ll be the sexy distraction.

 

[A Gay Retard]

as much as I'm down to fuck every guard we might encounter my sponge cake is even better than my blow jobs

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

Someone who will heroically volunteer to remain behind and buy time while the rest of us run

Deal. This is my ideal way to go out. Especially if it involves smashing the surroundings to block the way forward.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Deal. This is my ideal way to go out. Especially if it involves smashing the surroundings to block the way forward.

Explosives are permitted. Just wait until we're clear.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Someone who can contort themselves into a box that will be delivered to the target

I got this

 

[MrTroll]

Can't help with any of those, but if you need a rape-obsessed scat fetishist, I can recommend a very reliable guy.

 

[Ogre Magi]

Someone who can bankroll this whole thing

Don't worry guys, I have one of these:

Just need a few 4x multicasts and we'll be set!

 

[Montalbane]

@Sexy Senior Citizen you son of a bitch...
I'm in.

( I will be the dude that never thumbnails and doubleposts.)

 

[WelperHelper99]

I'll weld up the holes in the getaway van