🐱 'I'm scared of my own autistic child'

CatParty
http://www.bbc.com/news/education-41597815

Parents struggling to cope with their violent autistic children are not being properly supported by local authorities, the National Autistic Society says.

For some, a violent outburst can be a daily occurrence.

"I'm scared of him. You live on a knife edge. You don't know what's coming next," Lucy Goldsworthy told the BBC's Victoria Derbyshire programme.

She has previously been left with a split lip and bruising following her son Elliot's violent outbursts, while her husband Ian has been left with a scratched cornea.

Twelve-year-old Elliot has autism and learning difficulties which, in his case, means he is unable to speak.

His condition requires round-the-clock care and he does not understand the effects of his actions.

Ian and Lucy say their son became violent and aggressive from the age of five.

At his current age, he is becoming increasingly difficult to control.

"If it was a toddler, having a huge tantrum, scratching and kicking you, you can manage it better," Lucy says.

"Whereas when Elliot does it, it's like a small man suddenly attacking you.

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"He's still only violent 5% of the time - but the consequences of that violence are getting worse and worse."

Ian and Lucy have had to put bars across the window in Elliot's bedroom and locks on the door to help keep him - and their other children - safe.

"You kind of get used to your child's bedroom looking like a cell of some kind," Ian says.

Elliot attends a special school, but the couple say they do not get enough specialist support from their local council.

"You have to get to the point where one of you is hospitalised or you've had to call the police out [for help to arrive]," they say.

For its part, the family's local authority, Hertfordshire County Council, says it does provide a range of care support and is deciding if more help is needed.

One woman who wished to remain anonymous, "Sam", says she "cried and cried" for help from her local authority to look after her teenage son.

She had hoped that one incident, which required her to have a head wound glued after he became violent, would act as a "turning point".

"At first I got a bit of help," she says, before claiming that the council later tried to "wash their hands" of her - providing her with 48 hours' worth of support a year.

One 2011 study, of nearly 1,400 children with autism in the US, found more than half were aggressive or violent towards their families or carers.

Tim Nicholls, from the National Autistic Society, believes parents and families need more support "to help them avoid or de-escalate challenging behaviour".

"Some examples of this would be helping them with positive behavioural strategies or respite for the young person," he adds.

Mr Nicholls is calling on local authorities and NHS England to improve the care they provide.

"If children are not having their needs met, then they are being failed," he says.

"We need a special educational needs and disabilities system that identifies all the needs of autistic children, then puts in place the support and the services to allow them to live the life that they and their families want to live."

'His nature is gentle'
Nineteen-year-old Cameron is one of 700,000 people in the UK on the autism spectrum.

He was diagnosed at the age of three.

"Sometimes you don't know how Cameron's going to react and it is very scary," says his father, Doug Clements.

"The [other] children have to lock themselves in the room because they are so scared."

At the moment, Cameron goes to a specialist centre each day.

However, life at home has become very difficult, and his parents are currently looking for a residential care home for him, run by the local authority for children and vulnerable adults, close to their own home in Surrey.

His mother, Hannah, says the family can no longer manage Cameron's behaviour.

"It's really upsetting, because I love him so much," she says.

"I don't want people to be scared of him, because his nature is gentle.

"I feel sorry for him because he's frustrated, and he can't tell me why or other people why."

Hannah says in the last six years, they have had "no direction at all" from support services, but Surrey County Council said it continued to offer respite care and day support to the family.

'Gone to bed sobbing'
NHS England says it has "set out a clear programme" for those with learning difficulties and autism to "enable more people to live in the community, with the right support, and close to home".

However, the Local Government Association says that while "councils are working hard to make sure children with autism and other special needs get access to the support they need... they have been put in an impossible situation due to increasing demand and historic underfunding".

Elliot Goldsworthy's parents believe their need for support will only become greater as their son gets older.

"We've definitely had moments when we've gone to bed sobbing, and despairing at how this is our life," says Ian.

"But you can't wallow in it too long, because you've got exactly the same life the next day."
 
There was a case in New Orleans that I recall. The "kid" was 18 years old, 6' tall and well over 250 pounds. His parents insisted he should be mainstreamed. He beat the shit out of several school employees I know of. Eventually he had to be moved to a private residential facility. Apparently he beats the shit out of the attendants there too, but at least they're being paid for it.
 
Ian and Lucy say their son became violent and aggressive from the age of five.

At his current age, he is becoming increasingly difficult to control.

"If it was a toddler, having a huge tantrum, scratching and kicking you, you can manage it better," Lucy says.

"Whereas when Elliot does it, it's like a small man suddenly attacking you.

"He's still only violent 5% of the time - but the consequences of that violence are getting worse and worse."

Ian and Lucy have had to put bars across the window in Elliot's bedroom and locks on the door to help keep him - and their other children - safe.

:cryblood: Holy fucking shit, this is what happens when you don't tell your child "no". No parent should ever let their child take over their own household and make them live in fear. At this point, this kid shouldn't be locked away in his room, he needs to be locked away in juvie or an asylum because CPS or a foster home isn't going to take them in after deeming them failures as parents.
 
:cryblood: Holy fucking shit, this is what happens when you don't tell your child "no". No parent should ever let their child take over their own household and make them live in fear. At this point, this kid shouldn't be locked away in his room, he needs to be locked away in juvie or an asylum because CPS or a foster home isn't going to take them in after deeming them failures as parents.
I'm pretty sure they told the kid no many times but autism is one hell of a drug
 
I'm pretty sure they told the kid no many times but autism is one hell of a drug

There's ways to discipline an autistic child if "no" doesn't cut it. I can't even fathom why parents just give in to their screaming child when step one doesn't work, but then again, that might just be the result of me being raised by parents who chose to be fucking parents and thus am not woke enough to see why this isn't a problem in the current year.
 
There was a case in New Orleans that I recall. The "kid" was 18 years old, 6' tall and well over 250 pounds. His parents insisted he should be mainstreamed. He beat the shit out of several school employees I know of. Eventually he had to be moved to a private residential facility. Apparently he beats the shit out of the attendants there too, but at least they're being paid for it.
Sucks man.

It's a shame the parents didn't get any comeuppance for their idiocy besides having their manbaby taken away. Because let's be honest, any parent who thinks getting their stunted autismal child through mainstreaming in public schools are fucking morons.

There's ways to discipline an autistic child if "no" doesn't cut it. I can't even fathom why parents just give in to their screaming child when step one doesn't work, but then again, that might just be the result of me being raised by parents who chose to be fucking parents and thus am not woke enough to see why this isn't a problem in the current year.
Some parents just don't know how to handle their bundle of mental problems. So they just resort to coddling them to shut them up.

case in point- Chris Chan. Then again, Borb wouldn't be much better with a non-autistic child considering how Cole turned out.
 
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