Informercials - AKA Billy Mays Fanclub Thread

Pickle Dick

Pickle Dick

I thlammed by penith in the car door
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Feb 10, 2017
You know them; you turn on your TV, expecting a program of any kind to come on*, and all you're greeted with adverts for stuff like this:
Absolutely unnecessary, created to solve a problem that literally does not exist

More practical than the last, but you're a dummy if you: a. Discard bar soap because it became "sloppy and slimy" b. Somehow make a hand soap bottle slip by your own force c. Are so weak you can't lift up a dish soap bottle without dropping it into the sink

Again, practical, but you know what most people do with soda cans? DRINK IT ALL DOWN IN A DAY!!!

Now it's not like all infomercial products are bad (some of them are actually pretty good!), but for every decent infomercial product that can have the slightest benefit in your life, there's always infomercial products that are either absolutely unnecessary or are incredibly impractical.

Anyway, post informercials here...
 
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>"Never buy those expensive cartridges again!"

Mind you, this was in 1998. Virtually no modern consoles from the time, aside from the Nintendo 64 and portable systems, were using cartridges by that point. Half of the 15 games (not 200 as the advert claims) on there were shoddy clones of Tetris anyway, so it wasn't really worth the $19.98 (lol they made the price the year!) it was selling for.
 
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Mal0 said:
Only ones I can remember off the top of my head are these



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ARGH WE COULD HAVE USE THE "TWEET TWEET ZOO PALS" DURING THE ZOOSADIST SHIT.

Watching old shitty TV with my dad, I noticed there's an obsession with copper. Not just copper pans but literally anything.
 
"WE BELIEVE IN YOU!"
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Seriously, how pathetic is your life to the point you need a frickin CD to help you cheer up? Isn't that gonna actually make you feel worse?
 
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Chongqing said:
The best ones are about pointless appliances that cook food.

This commercial is 28 minutes but it's worth it.
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Before the advent of satellite or cable in every room, Ron Popeil infomercials were the all-night serenade until the early morning religious shows & local news aired. For people who left the TV while sleeping, it was either infomercials or pledgeathons.

To this day, seeing the Showtime Rotisserie still gives me flashbacks to all those sleepless nights in cheap hotels on long drives; where the only movies that ever seemed to be on before the infomercials were "Maximum Overdrive" or "Point Break".
 
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For some reason, I found Dr. Ho's informercials to be interesting, just because of his voice, even though the products he sells probably don't do what they promise:




 
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Kids during the infomercial "toy" era were thankfully smart enough to know that if it has to be advertised the same way as a Chia Pet, or isn't good enough for Toys R Us, it's probably shitty and for babies. There's also the fact boomer parents know Pic N Save-grade shit when they see it, and aren't about to dial an 800 number for something that's probably putting Taiwanese oxides in your lungs



Not a toy, just WAKKIE NU NU

 
Really? No one brought up Sock 'Em/Socker Boppers here? Shame on you all...
If I had a dime for every child that suffered brain damage from these bastards I'd be a somewhat rich man.
Flip: Draw 2 said:
ARGH WE COULD HAVE USE THE "TWEET TWEET ZOO PALS" DURING THE ZOOSADIST SHIT.

Watching old shitty TV with my dad, I noticed there's an obsession with copper. Not just copper pans but literally anything.
Click to expand...
The copper obsession in these ads has a lot of layers to it...
  • The copper-coated knife infomercial claimed the coating made the knife non-stick: that's actually false, it's the holes in the knife that make it non-stick. They make it so that a vacuum doesn't form between the food you're cutting and the knife.
  • The mask actually has SOME level of science to it (copper has anti-microbial properties and some hospitals use copper doorknobs/handles for this purpose) but the way its advertised is pure placebo effect abuse at best and pure quackery at worst.
  • The copper cup is the least offensive of the lot since online descriptions of the ceramic coating mentioned in the ad don't actually mention copper, as far as I can tell the copper part is only for the decorative exterior.
Blimp said:
Kids during the infomercial "toy" era were thankfully smart enough to know that if it has to be advertised the same way as a Chia Pet, or isn't good enough for Toys R Us, it's probably shitty and for babies. There's also the fact boomer parents know Pic N Save-grade shit when they see it, and aren't about to dial an 800 number for something that's probably putting Taiwanese oxides in your lungs



Not a toy, just WAKKIE NU NU

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I vaguely remember having Blopens growing up and thinking they were kind of neat despite the markers never lasting long.
 
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