Is it just me, or is there something about Beanie Babies that unlocks a deep, primal rage in you?

[Beautiful Border]

The kind that brings out the inner sadist. I honestly find there's nothing more satisfying on planet Earth than punching them, kicking them, stomping on them, crushing their necks, throwing them against walls and floors as hard as I can, yelling at them about how they're worthless and how no one will ever love them and that you're going to keep torturing them for years and decades and there's nothing they can do about it, throwing them down the stairs, sitting on them, isolating them from the other beanie babies so they can't even emotionally console one another. It's the one psychopathic pleasure I allow to myself and the outlet for all of my repressed rage. I want to personally thank Ty Warner for bringing so much catharsis to my life.

Especially the fucking duck one. How can anyone look at this and not want to inflict terrible pain onto it?

 

[Vingle]

Did you forget to take your meds today?

 

[Isaac]

Those with cute aggression should be detained and fined for a few days to teach them a lesson

 

[Gigasneed]

For me they always make me sad, knowing that most of them will be discarded, destroyed, or lost as time goes on.

I get the same feels when I see animals in old media knowing that it is long past their natural lifespan.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I love hugging beanie babies.

 

[Noroi]

I think the duck is cute

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Wait, those still exist?

I get the same feels when I see animals in old media knowing that it is long past their natural lifespan.

I just think "lol, that dog is dead".

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

There was a murder that happened because of them

 

[Apochrypha]

My cousin had an entire bucket full of those shits when we were kids. Like an industrial sized storage bucket. I don't get the obsession...

 

[Red Hood]

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

 

[sasazuka]

Funko Pops are a hundred times more rage-inducing.

 

[Protistology]

Shalom Rabbi

 

[Cat tit bingo]

There literally hacky sacks with faces of course there fuck to kick the shit out of.

 

[Penis Drager]

They incite nostalgia in me which always makes me sad because of all the things I missed out on in my childhood

 

[PaleTay]

I saw a creepypasta which had a teddy bear which attacked its former owner for leaving it in a box in the attic for a few decades, as it was scared and alone. I think most beanie babies will end up "scared and alone".

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Have you seen modern stuffed animals? Old Beanie Babies are noticeably higher quality in every way.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I saw a creepypasta which had a teddy bear which attacked its former owner for leaving it in a box in the attic for a few decades, as it was scared and alone. I think most beanie babies will end up "scared and alone".

That's why you keep at least 20 stuffed animals on your bed. Creates a cozy bed and prevents teddy bear attacks.

 

[Sir Bartleby Montclair]

I was too young to know about the Beanie Babies phenomenon when they were big. All I knew was my nice older family member I don't see often gave me a cute stuffed animal and I'm happy because I'm a little girl that likes stuffed animals.

This one was my favorite.


Maybe if I was old enough at the time to know that they were the 90s version of Funko Pops, I'd have disliked them a little more.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I still have the red and yellow monkey. Had no idea why it was red and yellow at the time. All I knew is it was a very soft monkey. Always tore the name tags off mine. Apparently, the minkey is named Chopstix. I just called it Monkey.

Not fixing the typo. This thing is soft enough to be a minkey.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I used to have a buttload of them as a kid, I still have a handful of my favorites. Even with the collector craze back in the 90's they were pretty cheap so my mom was always happy to get me one if I saw one I really liked.
I kept all of my dragons, the Zodiac dragon is one of my favorites: