Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Jenna's porn was on some D-list porn site I've never heard of, and I'm near Derich levels of porn expert. Not surprising we didn't know of it.
 
Uberpenguin said:
You know, I never realized how unarousing a naked woman could be until the modern era of every attention starved skank out there taking their clothing off online.

Although speaking of Kat ordering doordash, Phil always says Kat doesn't want to come on because of the trolls, but it's been a while since anyone's seen her and they do order a ton of food; I often wonder how big she's getting at this point, and if maybe that doesn't play a bigger role in why he doesn't want anyone to see her.


No no no, you've got it all wrong, Phil isn't gay.

If Kat really wants to get Phil excited she needs to go into his room one night during gin and twitter hours while wearing mom jeans and a baggy t-shirt along with his mother's favorite perfume and tell him in a stern voice
"Phillip, mommy needs you to put down the phone and take your clothes off. I need your help for a minute".
"Wha-"
"That wasn't a question Phillip"

She'd stand there, hands on her hips, watching Phil sheepishly remove his disgusting pajama pants before gently telling him to lie down on the bed. They'd then proceed to make passionate love as Phil whimpered, eventually screaming for his mother at the point of climax.

I mean, there's a reason he regularly accidentally refers to Kat as his mom. It's not hard to see where his real sexual proclivities lie.
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You're a disgusting pervert for thinking this all up and posting it.
 
Does anyone remember when Phil started dating, or at least announced, Kat? Was it like july/august of 2017? I'm just surprised he was able to land another so quickly considering the type of guy he is (maybe he didn't think he should reflect on what went wrong in his failed relationship). I know it's been said before, but christ, Kat must've been in a terrible situation to move-in with a guy after three visits. Good thing Phil has noodle arms and is a pussy.
 
KKKrèmebrûlée said:
Does anyone remember when Phil started dating, or at least announced, Kat? Was it like july/august of 2017? I'm just surprised he was able to land another so quickly considering the type of guy he is (maybe he didn't think he should reflect on what went wrong in his failed relationship). I know it's been said before, but christ, Kat must've been in a terrible situation to move-in with a guy after three visits. Good thing Phil has noodle arms and is a pussy.
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I wrote the following the other day
Tsoliassssssssssssss said:
I wonder if Kat dreamt about having a gamer husbando and they could play/stream games together.
Makes me wonder if Phil keeps her off the streams or it's her choice.
She could for example be on the stream during her day off, today, and play some co-op with Phil.
Kick off her own gaming career? maybe. Phil will have the paypigs and kat will have the horsimps.
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maybe she had planned it all along, but everything came out completely different.
I hope we could see how Kat is right now and see if she has given up on life and became a 300 pound monster.
and here's a new nickname for Fat Kat
Philippos -> friend of horses
Horse -> (H)Ippos
Hippopotamus -> Hippo + potamus -> River Horse
peepo-giggles.gif
 
JPG said:
We need a redemption run.
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What we need is to inform Brazy Mamo what a gold mine he struck there. Advertising a fake facial on the sister in law of a famous You Tuber who invented let's plays would surely get his shitty page skyrocketing clickrates. Maybe. Does Kotaku accept sex-ads?
 
If any of you have searched up the porn and came across the name Brick Yates well I looked him up and came across this

WELCOME TO BRICKYATES.COM!
Brick is an average guy that decided to try to fill a porn niche that no one else was filling. Real amateurs in real uniforms. After getting out of the Navy, Brick decided to focus on what he knew, Military uniforms. Not everyone on the site is in uniform because lets face it. It is TOUGH finding people that want to have sex in their work clothes. Well, no its not, but it is hard to get them to do it on camera! Brick has filmed over a hundred Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen and women, baristas, servers, nurses and more since 2012. It is all exclusive and now in 4K. If you want me to keep making it, please watch it here on the site!

Does this mean that Jenna was a REAL security officer at one point?
 
I don't know if any of you have noticed this yet, but Jenna (which I believe to be Kat's sister? I don't know what the fuck is going on here, just discovering this new porno lore) has a more recent instagram account along with some twitter accounts. She actually keeps this instagram up to date last post being a day ago, and it seems she has more videos. I'm guessing she is or still is signed onto a porn company thing called Brickyates hence why the video from one of the sites is "Brickyates - Officer sanders etc etc" and she has a post on that instagram with Brickyates in it. Ok, enough of me rambling. Here. https://www.instagram.com/officialbrazymamo/
 
DukeMorty said:
You can google "Local security guard sucked off a customer" and in the videos tab you find a bunch of free versions online. It sounds like her dumb ghetto ass.

Edit: Saw it for research purposes and it was the shittiest bj porn I have seen. The guy couldn't get it up but you did see her tits. I see why it has 1.5/5 stars. There is a cum shot to her face moment that some might use as a profile pic on here or on YouTube. I see why her porn career never went anywhere. Ok I got to watch some real porn after that disgrace called a porn.
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Might be late to this, but that's totally a fake cock and cum for the money shot. You can just see the edge of the cock come into frame and it's almost pure white head.
 
The timing is probably way off for this, but my head canon is that this is what Phil watched during the Fapcident. He desired her IRL but knew he never stood a chance with such a Stacy like her, but he soon learned that she had a vulnerable sister…
 
I have a random and sudden urge to have sex with Kat, Jenna, and why the hell not, Leanna, in front of Phil... Between him and the TV or whatever.

And fuck it, let Jasper watch, too.

And video it for Derich.
 
Does this mean that Jenna is also a creator of "on demand video services" or whatever dumb shit Phil tried to describe his business as?

Married the wrong sister indeed.
 
BTK said:
I have a random and sudden urge to have sex with Kat, Jenna, and why the hell not, Leanna, in front of Phil... Between him and the TV or whatever.

And fuck it, let Jasper watch, too.

And video it for Derich.
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I like that the "why the hell not" person was Leanna, and not Jenna.
 
ReentryPhantom said:
I like that the "why the hell not" person was Leanna, and not Jenna.
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Give me :optimistic: call it rose tinted glasses or whatever but I never found her that bad, Panda was living with Dave from she was 18 so no real chance to grow up.

Name me any 18-20 year old girl who isn't at least a bit grating to be around, you tend to forgive a lot if you happen to be fucking them.

I think she looked ok back then, I think she looks even better now and at least she got away and are actually doing shit in her life.

So TL;DR I would fuck her then and now no question about it. Date her meehhhh another question.
 
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Derich 2nd of coomland said:
Give me :optimistic: call it rose tinted glasses or whatever but I never found her that bad, Panda was living with Dave from she was 18 so no real chance to grow up.

Name me any 18-20 year old girl who is at least a bit grating to be around, you tend to forgive a lot if you happen to be fucking them.

I think she looked ok back then, I think she looks even better now and at least she got away and are actually doing shit in her life.

So TL;DR I would fuck her then and now no question about it. Date her meehhhh another question.
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Yeah Panda was not bad looking but she had an annoying attitude especially with Phil's audience which pissed off his fans. Detractors were going to obviously dislike her since she is with Phil, so guilty by association. Even so detractors did find her annoying like his fans did. Overtime, she grew up and people started to like Panda. Even detractors started to like her because she would emasculate Dave on stream and have a better sense of humor. Now she is gone from the goutverse and she seemed to mature a bit and is having a more adventurous life like taking road-trips on her motorcycle and camping. Although, she does seem to be still annoying and ignorant but not as bad as she was when she was with Dave.

TL;DR With Phil she was hot but annoying. Now she is less annoying and still hot. Basically I would fuck her brains out too.
 
Deborah Debbie Grayson said:
The timing is probably way off for this, but my head canon is that this is what Phil watched during the Fapcident. He desired her IRL but knew he never stood a chance with such a Stacy like her, but he soon learned that she had a vulnerable sister…
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No, Phil had a “best of” collection of Hulk Hogan pud jiggles playing on his laptop. Pussy, yuck!
 
BTK said:
So, even though there's not much to choose from, Leanna is the hottest girl in the DSP-verse? I think.
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There’s no way I’d touch any of Philly’s second-hand merchandise but objectively speaking, yes - PandaRee to this day looks way better.
 
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