Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Kongolo]

Catherine is a 10/10 for DSP

She was. The baboon we see today is a bad deal even for Phil.
But I agree that given the context, early Kat was a dream come true for the pigroach.

 

[grump]

OG Kat was a perfectly respectable 7/10.

Ok, a 6/10 if she was standing next to Panda, but still…


Ah yes, I forget that this is Kiwifarms.

Where Chads slay 10’s on a daily basis, and the lowly 9s have to earn their blowjob giving privileges through chores and manual labor.

Khat might be decent if you compare her to every woman on earth.

A more rational definition closer to what people instinctively think of is to take the percentile in her age group. Do you really think Khet even at her peak was hotter than 70% of other mid 20 something US girls? Maybe if you live in some flyover dump where everyone is a landwhale.

 

[Iron Hamster]

OG Kat was a perfectly respectable 7/10.

Ok, a 6/10 if she was standing next to Panda, but still…


Ah yes, I forget that this is Kiwifarms.

Where Chads slay 10’s on a daily basis, and the lowly 9s have to earn their blowjob giving privileges through chores and manual labor.

I will say a Michigan 7 is far different from a Tri-state 7.

The baboon we see today is a bad deal even for Phil.

That was future Phail's problem back then.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Quick reminder that Phil basically started the debacle with Kat's anime raccoon lady looks by both placing a lot of importance on and significantly overselling her looks. "I'm very lucky, let's just put it that way" he said. "She has a rahckin' (On the X and Y axis) bahdy. She could be a swimsuit mahdel!". He said this, so people expected at the very least a niche hot girl. Tiny muscle mommy, runner's physique, at least a BBW with big booba. Something. Anything, for fuck's sakes.

Our previous experience with DarkSydeChicks was Panda. Not only was Khet nowhere near a swimsuit model, she was clearly a downgrade in every sense. Just an average anime lady, probably touched by the 'tism, with bad makeup and clothes, that he stole from a Subaru owner. With no personality. And benzo'd out. Well, good for you Phil, you sure showed us and your dents what a massive Chad you are.

Prime Khet was a 4/10. Not that that matters. Love matters in a relationship. Who cares if you date a cozy gamer landwhale if you're happy with them? Well, Phil cares. That's why Khet gets judged harshly. But even being completely honest, prime Kat was just not attractive. If the mannish features and underbite don't do it the cardboard personality will. And if that doesn't, her actions speak for themselves. She monkeybranched to Phil from Subaruman when it was clear her free ride was over. A person who's capable of doing that obviously holds a mercenary mindset. She'll monkeybranch on to the next when she's done with the current one, as well. They probably made up that story about Subaruman beating the shit outta her to look better when it's likely all he did was kick her the fuck out when she got caught red handed sexting with a Pigroach.

Every time Phil brings Kat up, is one of three flavours: My mo-wife, stories that make her look regarded, and flexing. Seriously, it's all he does. He's happy, so Keemstar can eat shit out of his ass because his powerlevel in the relationship department is MAXIMUM. He has a wife he gets laid by. He's not an incel, guys. His dick works just fine! Ignore Panda's whining that Phil wasn't providing her with sufficient D. He's obviously not gay even though he salivates at the thought of buff, dominant black men. He's a married man! (With a goomah!)

I will say this though: They are unironically a good couple. Khet's boring, dumb enough to be pignotized, outta shape, and happy as long as she's got Skyrim & Doordash. Had Phil just introduced her with: "Hey guys, this is Kat. I don't really care about her looks, I love her, and hey, I still would if she was bigger, or smaller, or whatever." we would just be eating crow that DarkSfadil bagged anything at all and seems happy. But Phil just had to flex on the dents that unlike them, he has a family, and he's happy, and he's getting pussy AHN DEMAND, dood. He just had to hype her up.

In the end it's just a marriage of convenience. Half to scam his parents outta money, half to look less pathetic. Phil's paying for room and board for a fat lazy roommate he's not even fucking. And she gets to drive the Corolla. That's just pathetic. And he tried to sell her to us like she was a little less hot than a supermodel. You're advertising Claudia Schiffer's gonna come on stream on Monday; you actually bring Weird Raccoon makeup lunch lady from Gaylord Michigan. Expect to be, at least, ridiculed.

And to anyone saying that Khet, even Fhet Khet is hotter than anything any kiwi is bagging, quick reminder that Marlin bagged a 7/10 blonde chick with big boobs and pancake nipples and some other dude fucked Jenna after a steamy koolaid bath. The bar is not high and it has already been cleared.

EDIT: Fucked up between edits.

 

[HerrKlicks]

Quick reminder that Phil basically started the debacle with Kat's anime raccoon lady looks by both placing a lot of importance on and significantly overselling her looks. "I'm very lucky, let's just put it that way" he said. "She has a rahckin' (On the X and Y axis) bahdy. She could be a swimsuit mahdel!". He said this, so people expected at the very least a niche hot girl. Tiny muscle mommy, runner's physique, at least a BBW with big booba. Something. Anything, for fuck's sakes.

Very true.
It didn't help that the tree-decorator pic from their first christmas together also didn't look that bad (mainly because it was taken from the back)
And then we got racooooooooooooooon eeeeeeeeeeeeeyes. (and that jawline, man, that is just unfortunate, even more so now.)

 

[grump]

Quick reminder that Phil basically started the debacle with Kat's anime raccoon lady looks by both placing a lot of importance on and significantly overselling her looks. "I'm very lucky, let's just put it that way" he said. "She has a rahckin' (On the X and Y axis) bahdy. She could be a swimsuit mahdel!". He said this, so people expected at the very least a niche hot girl. Tiny muscle mommy, runner's physique, at least a BBW with big booba. Something. Anything, for fuck's sakes.

The people who get upset at all the hate Khet gets should tell her to take it up with her biggest detractor. Phil.

 

[Hectic Heckler]

The fat bitch got exhausted from sitting? Fucking sitting? Really? How many levels of diabetes is this bitch on?

 

[Fascist Frederick]

The fat bitch got exhausted from sitting? Fucking sitting? Really? How many levels of diabetes is this bitch on?

Like her husband she's stuck on level one.

 

[marlintan]

Marlin bagged a 7/10 blonde chick with big boobs and pancake nipples

There truly is hope for all of us...

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

The fat bitch got exhausted from sitting? Fucking sitting? Really? How many levels of diabetes is this bitch on?

Type 47 diabetes iirc.

 

[Iron Hamster]

The fat bitch got exhausted from sitting? Fucking sitting? Really? How many levels of diabetes is this bitch on?

Back was hurting dood. It's from a hereditary condition, er, car accident, er, old football injury.

 

[Belegar Ironhammer]

Kat loves these co-ahp streams, guys.

 

[boxybum]

Kat loves these co-ahp streams, guys.

View attachment 5734445

She is such a weird lady. Even more weird than DSP. She has gotta be slow in the head. The way she speaks and acts seems like there isn't much going on upstairs.

 

[marlintan]

She is such a weird lady. Even more weird than DSP. She has gotta be slow in the head. The way she speaks and acts seems like there isn't much going on upstairs.

You get what you pay for?

 

[The Great Milenko]

I know Pandalee caught a lot of flack, but god damn.

 

[Space Pope]

Kat loves these co-ahp streams, guys.

View attachment 5734445

I'm as good with generative AI prompts as DSP is at video games, but this has been stuck in my head.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

She is such a weird lady. Even more weird than DSP. She has gotta be slow in the head. The way she speaks and acts seems like there isn't much going on upstairs.

Didn't her crackhead sister confirm she was autistic? Or atleast "confirm" as much as a crackhead can?

 

[UncleTusky]

Didn't her crackhead sister confirm she was autistic?

Yes, Jenna confirmed it on her Twitter.

Or atleast "confirm" as much as a crackhead can?

And on top of being a crackhead Jenna grew up in a different home from Kat after their mother lost custody. She's barely more credible on Kat lore than any other random person off the street.

Edit to add: Post from mid 2020 where she claims Kat is a sperg

View attachment 1348541View attachment 1348548

 

[Iron Father]

 

[grump]

Didn't her crackhead sister confirm she was autistic? Or atleast "confirm" as much as a crackhead can?

Yes, Jenna confirmed it on her Twitter.

And on top of being a crackhead Jenna grew up in a different home from Kat after their mother lost custody. She's barely more credible on Kat lore than any other random person off the street.

Edit to add: Post from mid 2020 where she claims Kat is a sperg

Khet presents more typical symptoms of being on the spectrum than phail. She's extremely asocial, particularly for woman. While most girls love to talk or go out to different places she on the other hand seems to prefer locking herself in her tiny room like some Japanese hikkomori playing bland mainstream games all day. People on the spectrum, though they can get obsessed with certain things, particularly video games, also are often noted to be remarkably narrowminded about their subjects of interest hyperfocusing on one particular aspect and/or being extremely nonadventurous playing the same type of game or even the same game for years and years and years to the exclusion of others. So we see with Khet, that she's a gamer but has extremely shitty taste playing only the blandest mainstream titles from the blandest most mainstream studios.