Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Tatu Carreta said:
How does that even work as a pick up line? "Hey girl, I'm a pathetic loser with no self control"
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It was a gold digger hook, I guess. Supposedly it started over twitter, so... "Hey gurl, lemme slide into your DMs and tell you how to sort out some OBS issues you have." (Yeah right, Phil helping anyone with technical issues, lmao. Maybe he got Popsicolo to do it? He was still around back then.)

After a little bit of polite conversation, Phil probably went with the mature sad boy angle. My girlfriend just left me, I've been drinking a lot, my big boi house just feels so empty without her... That sort of shit. Kat's eyes turned to dollar signs and the rest, as they say, is history. Kat praised his butchered goatee and oily polish plait and told him things he had never heard from a woman before, supposedly.

Kat probably had the most interest in poaching the roach. She almost certainly did 99% did of the heavy lifting until the relationship happened. Phil, in desperate need of a rebound, just mostly let it happen. For people their age, with their lifegoals, that way of beginning a relationship wouldn't really be that far fetched. But since both of them are sucky people, love, the prospect of raising a family or even liking each other a little bit was never a factor. The relationship was, from the start, purely transactional. You could almost call Kat a spiritual successor to the escort saga. Except Phil isn't even getting the horsepuss.

TL;DR: Kat is a gold digger. Having to like who you date is not a factor to her. Phil could have spun her a tale about doing 39 asian hookers bareback that morning and getting really angry about the last one not letting him snort (hehehe) a speedball out of her ass, and she would have still made it happen. They're soulmates.

(And speaking of that, does someone with the emotional depth of either Phil or Katherine strike you as someone who'd use the term soulmate unironically? Or more likely, Kat was being that intense to bag Phil...?)
 
I've never been to Disney, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Disney have a pretty big selection of restaurants/special deals and plans for said restaurants? I could imagine that being the sole reason why Dave wants Kat to gallop down there with him. It combines two of Phil's favorite hobbies, having a hotel room to play mobile games in while also being able to go out to walk to food.
 
Cyber Bowling said:
I've never been to Disney, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Disney have a pretty big selection of restaurants/special deals and plans for said restaurants? I could imagine that being the sole reason why Dave wants Kat to gallop down there with him. It combines two of Phil's favorite hobbies, having a hotel room to play mobile games in while also being able to go out to walk to food.
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They've got a big selection of restaurants and deals...if you're willing to spend thousands of dollars for a place to stay on site. Nothing comes free at Disney, and usually you pay way too much for it.

In other words, the perfect place for Phil.
 
Tatu Carreta said:
How does that even work as a pick up line? "Hey girl, I'm a pathetic loser with no self control"
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Well it only works on women who:

1) Are looking for a guy to fix.
2) Are dumb enough to give into that urge.

Which is exactly why I could believe Phil doing it, because, on his part, it requires not having any shame.

Though I rather doubt that Khet was intrigued by anything other than the appearance of stability, regardless of whatever bull shit came out of Phil's mouth. She is, after all, tolerating the pigroach to an alarming degree for someone obviously not legit enamored with him.
 
tripmix said:
Was Disneyland ever on Phil's list of honeymoon locations?

Sounds more like kats idea tbh, she never got a normal childhood if she wasn't t-posing for jesus or trying to break Jenna out of the closet maybe she just wants to go back to being a little girl in Disneyland.
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I’m fairly certain this a Phillip thing (or more pathetically, a Leanna thing). If I recall correctly, Phillip was talking about taking Leanna to Disneyland for their honeymoon back when he totally couldn’t marry her right now because his debts would become her debts and he just couldn’t do that to her at this stage in their lives.
 
SauceRyuKen said:
Kat probably had the most interest in poaching the roach. She almost certainly did 99% did of the heavy lifting until the relationship happened.
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She said things to Phil that nobody ever said before!

"I just want to motorboat those big gouty toes."
 
Kosher Dill said:
She said things to Phil that nobody ever said before!

"I just want to motorboat those big gouty toes."
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Seriously.. What could she have possibly said that a 35 year old grown man (and I use that term loosely) not have heard before? I understand he hasn't had a lot of women in his life, but it still doesn't make any sense! Did she say she wants to pay bills with you, and that was the greatest thing he ever heard? It couldn't have been anything sexual, because we know he doesn't have any drive whatsoever. And just listening to a few of her own streams (through Tevin), and the few times she was on with Phil, its clear she has trouble expressing herself, and gets embarrassed. We also know Phil is not the type of person that will keep his mouth shut long enough to actually let someone talk about themselves.

So either he lied (again), or Khet is a great conversationist? Hmm 🤔
 
harbinger said:
I’m fairly certain this a Phillip thing (or more pathetically, a Leanna thing). If I recall correctly, Phillip was talking about taking Leanna to Disneyland for their honeymoon back when he totally couldn’t marry her right now because his debts would become her debts and he just couldn’t do that to her at this stage in their lives.
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Well then it's complete BS, because so is the rest of what he said there.

Kosher Dill said:
She said things to Phil that nobody ever said before!

"I just want to motorboat those big gouty toes."
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Even if Khet didn't come off like she's more of a listener than a talker, I would have a hard time believing that statement by Phil because, on top of the obvious (that he constantly lies), he does not possess enough maturity to understand what it means to make that kind of statement. As in, he's making shit up because he THINKS this makes his relationship look convincing when it in fact doesn't.
 
I have to at least give Jenna some respect for admitting that she is a prostitute. Phil still claims he is a legitimate businessman.
 
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