Kiwi Farms Joke - Come up with a good joke.

HodgePodgeRogerDodger

HodgePodgeRogerDodger

Nick Rekieta has full blown AIDS.
kiwifarms.net
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Dec 15, 2021
In a little sliver mining town out West called Kiwi Farms ran by an eccentric named Null, a man came looking for work and starts mining in a plot he bought. Around 3 weeks pass and he goes to the bar out of boredom.

“Beyond drinking is there anything to do around here?” Asks the miner.

After a little small talk the barkeep says “Ain’t no women folk for hundred of miles, only pigs.”

“Ain’t no man can really debase himself like that!” The miner replies in shock and disgust.

“Man’s got needs” replied the barkeep as the miner leaves the bar.

About a year passes and the miner is barely getting by and goes back to the bar a beaten man.

“A man can only go so long without satisfying his needs.” The miner replies bitterly. “If a pig is all you got then I guess I am no better than the rest of you.” He says sinking into his seat as the barkeep explains how to best fuck a pig.

A while later after the man found a suitable pig and does the needful he is arrested and upon arrest he asks.

“Wait a minute I thought you all fucked pigs!”

One of the posse replies “Yeah, but none of us fucked Chantal. She’s the mayors wife!”
 
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It's a subtle joke but here goes:

At a little store out West called Sneed's Feed and Seed, a man came looking for seed and starts farming in a plot he bought. Around 3 weeks pass and he goes to the store out of boredom. Sneed and Chuck, the current and former owner, are sitting outside in rocking chairs.

“Well well, look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.” says Sneed.
After a little silence the man says “This car was made in Guatemala!”
“Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci Loafers." Chuck replies in shock and disgust.
“I bought these shoes from a hobo!" replied the man as he enters the store.
"Well la-dee-dah, Mr. Park Avenue manicure" retorted Sneed.
"I'm sorry but I believe in good grooming" replied the man.

The man ignores them and enters the store, nose upturned.
 
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Two old guys are sitting on a park bench. A slobbermutt walks over, plops down in front of them, and starts licking his balls. One guy points at the dog and says to the other guy, "I wish I could do that." The other guy replies, "You better see if you can pet him first."

There's a guy sitting on a bench at the bus stop. A slobbermutt is lying on the ground next to the bench, watching people walk by. Another guy walks up, sits down on the bench, and notices the dog. He says to the first guy, "Does your dog bite?" The first guy replies, "No." The second guy reaches down to pet the dog and gets nipped on the hand. He yelps in pain, turns to the first guy, and says, "You said your dog doesn't bite!" The first guy replies, "That's not my dog."
 
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A man called Null, ostracized by his own country and his own communities is forced to move to an obscure Eastern European country. Setting his feet on the ground of this town, glancing at the strange architecture he's not used to, and the people he is not familiar with, he feels tired, chased, alone. He sees a bar at the corner that looks surprisingly neat compared to the odd surroundings he sees everywhere around him. Perhaps he could calm his nerves there, he thinks to himself and walks in.

"A whisky, bartender!", he exclaims right as he walks in the door. The bartender looks at him, puzzled, apparently not understanding a word this ragged man who's just entered has uttered. Null walks to the counter, points at a bottle of the nearest whisky to him and makes a gesture with his hand to his mouth. The bartender finally understands, pouring this foreign man a drink of whisky as he settles to a stool on the counter to contemplate his life.

As Null raises his eyes off the counter and lays his eyes on this empty, yet elegant restaurant, empty for except the bartender and a man in the far, dark corner playing the piano, a midget climbs on the counter, wobbles along to Null, drinks his whisky, pisses in his empty glass and proceeds to wobble back to the end of the counter where he'd come from.

Null feels stunned, and in utter disbelief of what had just happened tries to communicate with the bartender. "Hey, uh, bartender. Bartender!" The bartender turns to Null, sees that his glass is full and thus turns his back on Null again. "What the fuck", huffs Null to himself. "Well, I really need a drink", he tells himself and carefully avoiding the bartender's look he pours the midget piss on the floor and calls for the bartender again. The man behind the counter now picks up the bottle and fills his glass again.

"Where the hell have I wandered to", asks Null to himself, now holding on to his glass and looking at the piano player in the corner. As Null squints his eyes and sees the stand next to the player, he see the text "Keith Godchaux, here for this week only" written on it in black marker. Null feels the long-awaited rise in his joy as he realizes he could actually communicate with this man, in English! As he is immersed in his thoughts, he feels the midget grab his glass again, empty it, piss in it and wobble back into hiding.

"Keith's got to know what the fuck the midget business is all about", he thinks to himself as he leaves his stool on the counter and walks over to the piano player. "Keith Godchaux, what the hell, I thought you were dead! Actually everyone thinks so!", Null says to the piano man in mild excitement. "Yes. Well, there's not much more to say about that", answers Keith, never once breaking his flow of fingers on the keys of the piano.

Null looks at the man in awe, the man who has now succumbed back to play his piano in seeming privacy of this empty bar. Null is looking at his skillful fingers find their places on the keys, hearing, even feeling the beautiful music this man is playing, until he finally remembers to ask "Hey, uh, Keith, uh... You know that midget that climbs on the bar counter, drinks your whisky and pisses in the empty glass?"

Keith Godchaux raises his eyes from his piano, looks at Null and says "Well, no, but how about 'Autumn Leaves'?"
 
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I bled out of my ass, what a crazy thing to happen

I went to the doctor and he said let me stick in a finger

I felt the pressure in my ass and the doctor showed me his left and then his right hand

I asked "Doc what's in here?"

And he smiled
 
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You hear the one about the Milwaukee Godfather? He made them an offer in niggeroni they couldn't refuse.
 
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You ever see an Italian eye exam?
A O A O A O

Also, Elliot "Liz" Fong. He's not very funny but he is a massive joke nonetheless.
 
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