Least Woke Final Fantasy/ JRPG entry

[Red Hood]

So, in the Social Justice Warriors thread there was an image of a tweet that compared AVALANCHE to antifa that falls apart almost immediately under scrutiny. Let's do the opposite of that and see which is the most shitlordy Final Fantasy (or similar JRPG) plot. I look forward to seeing what insane shit the Farms comes up with.

 

[verissimus]

Final Fantasy Tactics comes to mind for me. Medieval fantasy setting, hardly any diversity, only "strong" female characters are Agrias and Meliadoul (maybe Wiegraf's sister as well) but they're alright. Lots of backstabbing and treachery with a few female characters getting killed (Ovelia and Delita's sister), Delita effectively uses Ovelia (as do others). I certainly could see SJWs claim the game being problematic.

 

[Wish I knew]

Final Fantasy 1, 3 and 5

 

[RapeMan]

FFX
The best blitzball team is all men, women shouldn't even be allowed to spectate, like in Iran.

 

[Black Waltz]

FF6
The main villain is a clown and clowns are racist incels

 

[Scandinadian Bacon]

Final Fantasy IV because every character is forced to face their inner demons and come to terms with the darkness within all of us to become better people.

Also Final Fantasy III because the tits on that cloud don't lie.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

FF7, everyone watches Cloud and Tifa fuck in the middle of a field and there's a gay bathhouse scene played for laughs where it's implied Cloud gets cornholed by a bunch of gachimuchi muscle men

 

[UncleTusky]

Final Fantasy II. Hilda gets kidnapped and impersonated, everyone defers to the inept crown prince over her, and one of the two female party members is a sexy pirate lady.

 

[DragoonSierra]

FF7 does have that dumb slap fight between Tifa and Scarlet and Im like just punch the bitch.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

FF7, everyone watches Cloud and Tifa fuck in the middle of a field and there's a gay bathhouse scene played for laughs where it's implied Cloud gets cornholed by a bunch of gachimuchi muscle men

The whole Wall Market scenario was kinda sketch with the "selling yourself into prostitution" thing. FF9 also has some casual genocide against the rat people that never really gets mentioned again. Even Freya doesn't seem too assed about it. That's just bad writing though.

The original Tales of Wuxia has the most "what the fuck" shit but that's a Chinagame and not a JRPG, so I doubt it counts.

 

[Give Her The D]

FF6
The main villain is a clown and clowns are racist incels

God damn it.

 

[Coolio55]

Mother 3 if Tomato never translated it.

Kotaku article, Alternate 2015:

See the horrifying game where a blond haired blue eyed ubermensch charicature protects his small village from immigration by activating the christian crosses to kill all trans ppl.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Tales of Symphonia?

 

[Vic Viper T301]

FFX has Yuna being kidnapped multiple times by the Al-Bed, a group of people that live in the desert and are generally distrusted by large swaths of the general population for not worshiping their god, Yevon, and for using technology banned by the church. Wouldn't have to try too hard to draw enough real life parallels to make a shitty Kotaku article out of that. Also Lulu and her big titties.

 

[Vorhtbame]

From another thread:

FF4's plot revolves around two anchor babies (their father is an illegal alien) who run around messing everyone over and being generally a plague on the planet. One of them only becomes a hero when he integrates fully with his new people, while the other one finally self-deports.

FF6 has you fighting to defend independent nations' sovereignty against a hegemonic globalist empire.

I would love to add stuff about FF14, but I haven't gotten but halfway through Heavensward so far. Still, the Machinist class quests voice a strong argument for arming everyone with easy-to-use weapons (because the government can't always protect you), the Dark Knight quests are laden with cringe (because of so much time spent whining about how the burden of heroes is so hard and so unfaiiiiiir, and that's supposed to make your innards curdle), and the Garlean Empire is a bunch of rabid atheists who want to wipe out religion "for your own good, you backwards peasants".

ETA: The Heavensward dragons, who are trying to genocide Ishgard, explicitly note that the people who did them dirty are all dead ages ago, but it doesn't matter because they're owed vengeance so they'll just take it against whoever's left. And that goes straight to the heart of the notion of "white guilt", punishing or penalizing people for crimes their putative ancestors/distant relatives committed, without which you cannot be properly woke.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

Not JRPG but Deus Ex is the most redpilled game ever made

 

[Rice Is Ready]

The whole Wall Market scenario was kinda sketch with the "selling yourself into prostitution" thing. FF9 also has some casual genocide against the rat people that never really gets mentioned again. Even Freya doesn't seem too assed about it. That's just bad writing though.

The original Tales of Wuxia has the most "what the fuck" shit but that's a Chinagame and not a JRPG, so I doubt it counts.

Can you learn Toad Kung Fu in that game? I remember it being in the novels along with the 9 Yin White Bone Claw.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

FF5 has Faris who dressed up like a man because she knew that other pirates wouldn't take her seriously if they knew she was a woman.

 

[moocow]

And that goes straight to the heart of the notion of "white guilt", punishing or penalizing people for crimes their putative ancestors/distant relatives committed, without which you cannot be properly woke.

There's some truth in that, but I still firmly believe the real reason we keep hearing about reparations is that niggas just want more free handouts.

To demonstrate this, ask a reparations supporter how much X should be if reparations were suddenly granted and came in the form of a single X dollar payment to every black person in the US with the agreement that everyone (including blacks) now considered the matter settled and no further reparations would be owed or paid. You won't hear any numbers, but you'll hear lots of excuses why "it can't be forgiven that easily" or, more accurately, why one payment isn't enough.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

There's some truth in that, but I still firmly believe the real reason we keep hearing about reparations is that niggas just want more free handouts.

To demonstrate this, ask a reparations supporter how much X should be if reparations were suddenly granted and came in the form of a single X dollar payment to every black person in the US with the agreement that everyone (including blacks) now considered the matter settled and no further reparations would be owed or paid. You won't hear any numbers, but you'll hear lots of excuses why "it can't be forgiven that easily" or, more accurately, why one payment isn't enough.

Because they don't want reparations. They want to have equal years of slavery for white people like these people who've never been enslaved were treated.

And they just can't understand why no one gives a shit. Go back to Africa if you guys are so into owning slaves, you can do that there. Or maybe you should go talk to the African tribes who fueled the slave trade, but that's no BIGBADWHITEYMAN so no go there.

But fuck, when even Africans think you're a bunch of whiny bitches, it's time to stop. Deciding to buy rims and speaker systems for your 1980 rust bucket rather than go to college is totally slavery's fault too I guess. Every race that came to America was treated like shit, so where's my reparations for being Irish? Do the Italians get them too? What about Germans for their treatment during WW2? How about the Japanese citizens do they...oh Wait they were. BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ALIVE TO COLLECT.

Sorry for the rant, is really bugging me the last few days.