Week 1.
Well, this is bullshit.
Okay, so, basically, the fucking cart broke down and we had to walk all the way to the hamlet.
And then we run into this motherfucker.
Fortunately it was a quick fight, as I gave tactical commands from my fortified tactical command post behind a bush, while Tyce and Eli took care of the disrespectful little bitch. Doesn't he know that I own this place?
Good thing I've played, like, 200 hours of New Vegas, so I had the idea to look in the bandit's camp.
Jackpot.
With that, we pushed forwards towards the hamlet.
This is what we found waiting for us.
Fuck, they said it would be "a bit of a fixer-upper". Not, like, a fucking bombed out Islam country. What the fuck?
Well, this is home. Just me, Eli, Tyce, and two assholes we found wandering around screaming about "slaying the evil under the soil".
They were a bunch of speds, so I decided to humor them by leading them into the tunnels underneath the town to "slay the evil". Only brought one torch, figured that by the time it burned out they'd have realized that there's no spooky shit going on and come back to help me and Eli set up the weed growing operation.
That may have not been, like, the smartest of choices, because it turned out that Tyce's rambling about the skeleton war maaaayy have been right. As in, we walked right into a pack of fucking skeletons.
What the fuck dude, that's not fucking cool.
Tyce attempted to negotiate with them while I took up a tactical position in a large urn. Apparently negotiations quickly broke down, because the skeletons started chattering at Tyce while he attempted to get them to join us. That's when they started taking swings at us.
Fortunately, they were total faggots, and went down after a few shots by Eli and being read excerpts from
The Analchest Cookbook by Tyce.
With the skeleton war having been proved to be real, and negotiations between Kiwi Farms and the Skeleton Army proving fruitless, there was only one thing to do. From the safety of my tactical urn the group tore their way through the darkness, taking out tangos left and right, whenever they popped up like fucking 5 Nights At Freddys robots.
In the end, we achieved victory.
We returned back to town, for Kiwi Farms to plot it's next course of actions. The Skeleton Terrorists are not completely defeated, and we must push deeper into their bunkers. I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to make an ultra-cool gamer mansion if i have to deal with fucking skeletons every 5 minutes?
Our current mission options are:
A Short skirmish or scouting mission.
or a Medium Explore or Cleanse mission.
The Scouting and Exploring give pretty good loot.
.
