Life Is Bananas

Xetzyr

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 10, 2018
I eat a lot of bananas, I consider them to be mankind's greatest achievement in fruit cultivation. Originally bananas looked like this...

Banana1_web_1024.png


They were gross tasting, had giant seeds and were tiny. Through thousands of years of meticulous cultivation, selective breeding and so forth we were able to adapt nature to suit us. Bananas are now fast growing, have nearly nonexistent seeds, are large, continue to ripen off the vine, taste amazing and are available year round.

Your personal life works much the same way. You may start off with horrible circumstances, life may be lemons, but with enough perseverance, dedication and work you can wind up with bananas.

Now, bananas aren't completely perfect, sometimes they're deceptively green and will wind up with bad spots if you don't eat them soon enough. Sometimes the skin may look a bit bruised and battered but the fruit inside is perfection. Sometimes there are brown spots. Sometimes they taste a bit under ripe or over ripe. Sometimes you go to skin them and you smoosh the top.

So even if you dedicate your whole life to creating bananas... every day, every hour, every moment, every decision... is a banana. Treat them all delicately and discriminately, because even something that's perfect can go bad.
 
Remember, if your banana has brown spots. It doesn't mean it's gone bad, it's actually ripe. Also the brown spots aren't going to give you mega ebola, you can eat them just fine.
 
Remember, if your banana has brown spots. It doesn't mean it's gone bad, it's actually ripe. Also the brown spots aren't going to give you mega ebola, you can eat them just fine.
A.so, if you crush them up with a spoon at this stage, you can add them to banana pudding and they are actually quite tasty. And I hate bananas.
 
Eh, it's better than being strange.
 
Some people say that fake banana flavoring was based on a variety of banana that was mostly wiped out by a fungus which is why it tastes weird. Now they are saying it wasn't based on that but artificial banana flavoring does happen to taste closer to the old variety. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
do you guys remember when the amazing atheist shoved a banana up his ass

Why are people on the Internet always shoving things up their ass? I've never understood the fascination there. It's like people get on the Internet and the first thing that crosses their mind is... "I gotta get somethin stuck up my pooper!"

And you'd think, with all the terrible stories, that it would stop. I mean from the guy who had to go to the ER after shoving a highlighter up there, the guy who died after shoving bacon up his ass, the (numerous) people who have died giving themselves alcohol enemas... seriously, stop putting things up your ass! It is an unloading zone only. Absolutely nothing good can come from shoving things up your stink hole.
 
Some people say that fake banana flavoring was based on a variety of banana that was mostly wiped out by a fungus which is why it tastes weird. Now they are saying it wasn't based on that but artificial banana flavoring does happen to taste closer to the old variety. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Artificial banana flavoring is an ester, specifically isoamyl acetate, which is generally described as being somewhere in between the flavors of banana and pear. It's produced chemically though so it's not technically based on anything. Natural banana flavor though could come from any number of potential sources... including the banana peel. That's why I don't like natural flavorings and such, you generally don't know exactly what the hell you're getting. Could be some random puree of insect that just vaguely tastes like bananas. Natural only implies that it wasn't created chemically.
 
Why are people on the Internet always shoving things up their ass? I've never understood the fascination there. It's like people get on the Internet and the first thing that crosses their mind is... "I gotta get somethin stuck up my pooper!"

And you'd think, with all the terrible stories, that it would stop. I mean from the guy who had to go to the ER after shoving a highlighter up there, the guy who died after shoving bacon up his ass, the (numerous) people who have died giving themselves alcohol enemas... seriously, stop putting things up your ass! It is an unloading zone only. Absolutely nothing good can come from shoving things up your stink hole.
Homophobic content here, dude
 
You should read up on the history of Bananas more, because they might not be around in the way you currently consume them.

https://www.theguardian.com/global-...sts-scramble-to-stop-bananas-being-killed-off

But the global supply chain is threatened by a virulent disease that has been attacking plantations in Australia, south-east Asia and parts of Africa and the Middle East.

As experts warn the fungus known as “fusarium wilt”, or Panama disease, could spread to Latin America, from where the majority of bananas are exported, scientists are scrambling to create a more robust variety that could help sustain the crop.

A single type of banana, called the Cavendish, accounts for 99.9% of bananas traded globally. It replaced a tastier variety wiped out by disease in the 1950s
 
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