- Joined
- Dec 16, 2014
Since Christmas is coming up and I thankfully have no friends or family to bother me I decided to celebrate by drinking a twelve pack and a bottle of vodka and then snorting an oxy 80, which made my already cheerful mood even more cheerful.
Since my cat is the only person in the world that loves me which is good because I hate other people even more than they hate me, I decided to express my affection for him by scratching him behind the ear. This is how he thanked me.
The fucker scratched the shit out of me wtf!
It hurts so bad, the pain is unimaginable. No one has ever felt pain like I'm feeling right now. My wonderful holiday season spent entirely by myself has now been ruined by the agony my cat has visited upon me, a cat that is the only living thing on this planet that I thought actually gave a shit about me. I guess he doesn't, just like everyone else in this loathsome and hateful world.
You might think it's just a scratch but trust me, you can't fathom this pain. I'm looking at my gun right now and I think it's the only escape from the hopeless torment of this scratch. I tried rubbing vodka and bleach into the wound so that I could feel something, anything, and I've even used a knife to create more cuts in the hope of blocking out the agony that this cat scratch has caused me. I can't stop looking at my gun. I'm holding it right now.
Merry Christmas folks.
Since my cat is the only person in the world that loves me which is good because I hate other people even more than they hate me, I decided to express my affection for him by scratching him behind the ear. This is how he thanked me.
The fucker scratched the shit out of me wtf!
It hurts so bad, the pain is unimaginable. No one has ever felt pain like I'm feeling right now. My wonderful holiday season spent entirely by myself has now been ruined by the agony my cat has visited upon me, a cat that is the only living thing on this planet that I thought actually gave a shit about me. I guess he doesn't, just like everyone else in this loathsome and hateful world.
You might think it's just a scratch but trust me, you can't fathom this pain. I'm looking at my gun right now and I think it's the only escape from the hopeless torment of this scratch. I tried rubbing vodka and bleach into the wound so that I could feel something, anything, and I've even used a knife to create more cuts in the hope of blocking out the agony that this cat scratch has caused me. I can't stop looking at my gun. I'm holding it right now.
Merry Christmas folks.
