losing family

[gumboman]

as some one who knows about western society only from internet , I often think you guys are not as attached to parents .

how do you deal with loss of parents,does it affect you emotionally same way as it does to us who live in closely knitted socities?

 

[Rumpled Foreskin]

I don’t mind losing my parents from time to time. They usually wander off to go have sex behind dumpsters, but I always find them. So besides being traumatized by seeing them in the act of coitus, it’s not that bad.

 

[gumboman]

I don’t mind losing my parents from time to time. They usually wander off to go have sex behind dumpsters, but I always find them. So besides being traumatized by seeing them in the act of coitus, it’s not that bad.

thanks man.

 

[Deadpool]

I guess it depends on how close you were in life. Some people are really close to their parents, and losing one is like losing a best friend as well. I can say from personal experience it's a terrible thing to deal/live with.

Unfortunately some parents can be abusive assholes. I'm sure losing a parent like that wouldn't be as hard. It's not so much we're not as close as families are in other countries. It's that there is no obligation for families to be close.

 

[gumboman]

I guess it depends on how close you were in life. Some people are really close to their parents, and losing one is like losing a best friend as well. I can say from personal experience it's a terrible thing to deal/live with.

Unfortunately some parents can be abusive assholes. I'm sure losing a parent like that wouldn't be as hard. It's not so much we're not as close as families are in other countries. It's that there is no obligation for families to be close.

can you explain what is considered as abusive parental behaviour in your country

 

[Black Waltz]

My biological dad passed away recently, but I don't really care because he left my mom as soon as I was born.

 

[Deadpool]

can you explain what is considered as abusive parental behaviour in your country

Physical violence I'm not counting a spanking in this as I think the majority of kids today could use a good spanking occasionally)
Sexual abuse of any kind. Emotional abuse ( constant put downs meant to intentionally hurt over the course of years or decades, "gaslighting" etc.), and neglect.

 

[Coconut Gun]

My parents watch way too much cable news so fuck 'em.

 

[JB 236]

Death of parents is something quite impacting to most people in the UK, even if they were particularly horrible, distant or abusive in life. As impacting as that tends to be, the family unit is not as close together as it is in other countries like Eastern Europe, Asia and parts of Africa anymore. We have changed as nations over the years and society has corrupted which leads to corruption of the home, and a lack of commitment to both nation and the family has pretty much grown to massive levels.

Here in the UK, people will chuck family away over the smallest of things or littlest of arguments and they forget that their blood runs in the people they hate, they break vows at the drop of a hat and will happily betray anyone for material gain.

 

[swiv]

My dad once told me "My job as a parent is to render myself unnecessary to your continued wellbeing" and I think that sort of neatly encapsulates the relationship that most westerners have with their parents. Of course, a person's reaction to a parent dying is largely going to be determined by the precise nature of their relationship with the deceased. That being said, having your parents die while you are still alive is a hell of a lot better than having them outlive you.

 

[gumboman]

Physical violence I'm not counting a spanking in this as I think the majority of kids today could use a good spanking occasionally)
Sexual abuse of any kind. Emotional abuse ( constant put downs meant to intentionally hurt over the course of years or decades, "gaslighting" etc.), and neglect.

i thought constant put downs were something non biological parents do

 

[Deadpool]

i thought constant put downs were something non biological parents do

Well yeah it's not something you want your parents to do, but unfortunately it happens here.

I guess the easiest way to put it is: Some westerners are close to their families, and losing a parent in that case it's devastating. Some westerners aren't close to their family for whatever reason so to them it's no big deal. It's just a case by case basis.

 

[gumboman]

Well yeah it's not something you want your parents to do, but unfortunately it happens here.

I guess the easiest way to put it is: Some westerners are close to their families, and losing a parent in that case it's devastating. Some westerners aren't close to their family for whatever reason so to them it's no big deal. It's just a case by case basis.

one more question, why is living with your parents as an adult even if you are well earning seen as derogatory remark in usa. I mean it would make sense once you are settled you should take care of them

 

[gumboman]

Death of parents is something quite impacting to most people in the UK, even if they were particularly horrible, distant or abusive in life. As impacting as that tends to be, the family unit is not as close together as it is in other countries like Eastern Europe, Asia and parts of Africa anymore. We have changed as nations over the years and society has corrupted which leads to corruption of the home, and a lack of commitment to both nation and the family has pretty much grown to massive levels.

Here in the UK, people will chuck family away over the smallest of things or littlest of arguments and they forget that their blood runs in the people they hate, they break vows at the drop of a hat and will happily betray anyone for material gain.

in my country some men live away from parents as their wife start to have problems. is it the Same case in your society

 

[Bassomatic]

I don't mean to be humorous when I say it but, I'll deal with it when it comes to be.

I don't know how I'll feel, from the people i've lost, already it's been case by case some at same time others it's been a gap from losses.

Knowing my luck I probably will be the one dead first.

I did just lose two family members and a 3rd circling the drain, it's hurt like hell but I've tried to use the change to see more in life and make sure I am the best for the short ride we have. Even when those who passed were above 90, it's a quick flash in the pan in regards to humanity.

 

[Beth]

one more question, why is living with your parents as an adult even if you are well earning seen as derogatory remark in usa. I mean it would make sense once you are settled you should take care of them

Because those kind of people usually don't do shit while living with their elderly parents. They play in their family basement instead of doing something productive like working or helping around the house.

 

[Piss Clam]

one more question, why is living with your parents as an adult even if you are well earning seen as derogatory remark in usa. I mean it would make sense once you are settled you should take care of them

I would say it is a cultural thing. The American frontier spirit thing, which means get off your arse, get out of the house, and make your own way.

It was accepted when I was growing up that when you hit eighteen you were suppose to be out of the house and living on your own.

I agree though that living at home seems to be the more logical thing as you can combine wealth and make everyones life easier.

 

[Bassomatic]

Because those kind of people usually don't do shit while living with their elderly parents. They play in their family basement instead of doing something productive like working or helping around the house.

It's a strange culture thing, the only person I know who's in my age range living at home, does so because his family is in poor health.

Now this is a heart breaking story, the only time he was able to leave the house was to go to war, 3 times. Came back his parents have been feeble and stuck home. Some people he knows have the nerve to tease him about it too.

He's got career, spends a few nights at his S/Os place but his parents need help and he rather do it and be there vs some nurse or someone.

In regards to my own personal, I spent half my weekends with family helping out half doing normal life shit, I hate weekends mostly due to it being busier in free time. I really don't mind, I'm not very close to my family anymore for a lot of reasons, and as far as being enfeebled etc I don't know what I'll do but when that comes to be it will be.

 

[Beth]

It's a strange culture thing, the only person I know who's in my age range living at home, does so because his family is in poor health.

Now this is a heart breaking story, the only time he was able to leave the house was to go to war, 3 times. Came back his parents have been feeble and stuck home. Some people he knows have the nerve to tease him about it too.

He's got career, spends a few nights at his S/Os place but his parents need help and he rather do it and be there vs some nurse or someone.

In regards to my own personal, I spent half my weekends with family helping out half doing normal life shit, I hate weekends mostly due to it being busier in free time. I really don't mind, I'm not very close to my family anymore for a lot of reasons, and as far as being enfeebled etc I don't know what I'll do but when that comes to be it will be.

I have nothing but respect for your friend/acquaintance? (I apologize but I am unable to tell...). He sounds like a really honourable and great man who had a rough time...Wish the best for him. I seriously hope whoever mocks him for this get a taste of what it feels like being old, alone, sickly and fear for the future.

Honestly, I feel that as long as your parents did not do anything really wrong, you should care about them and keep in contact with them regularly. (Like call them daily or weekly I dunno whatever works) After all, they are your family.

 

[Daughter of Cernunnos]

Westerners are drama queens who make a big deal out of everything and use the word abuse liberally. Devaluing your family is a form of cultural decay. Individualism which is popular here can have toxic side effects in one's relationship to family. They feel because of Christianity they have a unique eternal soul and the material body doesn't matter so the blood doesn't matter either. We have sayings here like "friends are the family you choose". People will alienate themselves from relatives over petty differences in religion and politics. However in my own experience, I had a liberal secular upbringing. I am open with my parents especially my mum and the thought of losing either of them is unbearable to me.