Make up a benign news story and how kiwis would complain about it

[The Fool]

Headline: "Dog chokes to death on discarded sock"
Kiwi Response: "I bet SJWs are glad about this because the dog was owned by a white man"

 

[Strange Looking Dog]

That sock was a racist hate sock left behind by a cat lady in the hopes a dog would choke on it

 

[ES 148]

Headline: "Ugandan scientists reveal solution to world hunger"
Kiwis: "Damn blacks trying to avoid working for their food"

 

[obliviousbeard]

headline: Virginia man wins lottery

kiwis: fucking weens CWC should work for his money reee

 

[Hell0]

headline: man cuts off penis

Spoiler: kiwis:

kiwis: wow i hope hes doing okay, god bless him, i pray for speedy recovery

 

[Black Waltz]

headline: middle eastern man rescues a cat from a burning building
kiwis: REMOVE KEBAB

 

[Power Armor]

just write down anything about guns and you'll get bare minimum twelve kiwis who didn't read the thread asking what gun it was or that mass shootings are evil and wrong and shit.

kiwis are fucking dumb lol

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Headline: Man marries widow with 5 kids
"I'll love them as if they were my own"
Kiwis: CUCK!!!!!!

 

[fortunecookie]

Headline; one million muslims mass incarcerated in Chin- oh wait

 

[IV 445]

Headline: "Bad person gets punished somehow."

Kiwis: "Good."

 

[TheClorax]

“Movie Critic Suffers from Heart Attack”
kiwis: So long MovieBob.

 

[c-no]

"Ruckersville Local in Critical Condition"
Kiwis: Die Chris