Malfoid

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Mr. Racewar1488 said:
The more I learn about Harry Potter lore the more I'm disappointed in how Rowling was so uneducated about history. In the time it took me to smoke a cig I had already come up with a pitch for a Cold War era spy thriller in the HP universe. Imagine a WWII era series with SS wizards.
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As a rule, Rowling writes at her best for the Hogwarts setting & whimsical children's magical adventures. The further away she gets from these & the wider her world gets, the worse her writing becomes in just about every regard, from the characters themselves to the worldbuilding & plots; and then there are the retcons which don't actually tell anyone anything they want to know, but just make the Wizarding World worse. Gay Dumbledore & maybe-black Hermione aside, there was also that time it was revealed that before the adoption of modern plumbing, wizards & witches used to just shit themselves on the spot & then use magic to poof away their waste. Suffice to say, nigga, nobody thought of that and certainly nobody wanted to know it nor does it enhance the Wizarding World in any way.

Also if you think Burgerland got the short end of Rowling's creativity stick, the Japanese version of Hogwarts is literally just named 'magic place' in their language.
Chiang Kai-shek said:
Glowie wizards are terrifying concept when you get down to it. Iirc the killing curse doesn’t leave any trace. The victims are perfectly normal and healthy. The CIA and KGB would work overtime to put that into a gun. Wizards are capable of turning everyday items into portals, so imagine they turn your keys into a portkey to a black site in God knows where. Forget prism, we have NSA wizards.
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The heart attack gun isn't real, that's just the result of glowie wizards sniping their assigned targets with the Killing Curse.
 
Chuckwagon said:
Potters are related to some other pureblood families, the Malfoys are conspicuously not one of them; at most it might be the case that they're distantly and indirectly related (ex. a Malfoy daughter married a Prewett son once and their daughter married Harry's 10x-removed-great-grandpa back when the Plantagenets still ruled England or something). This was how even Harry & Voldemort themselves are related BTW (both the Potters & Gaunts married at least one Peverell).
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Yeah it really depends on his grandmother. Most popular theory was she was a black or somehow related since James family was welcomed Sirius in so easily.

I really like the idea that Malfoid would have some ordinary hobby like genealogy, picking it up from her mother as thats a typical Black thing. Might draw a short based off that since its kinda cute. Like "oh I have to except this invite because malfoid might be plotting something," and its just looking at family trees.
 
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"Oh to be young and in love again. What? Mistress Malfoid, does it strike you odd that this wrinkled witch of a professor would know of such things as love? I have loved and been loved, tho less the latter. The last time I allowed myself to be a woman as a woman should be I was deployed to Central America, clearing up supply lines for pixie dust manufacturing. My contact was a Guatemalan warlock who came up only to my chin. Oh my toy king...my Huehue. His Aztec blood and spells gave him a fierce assuredness I have never seen. Seven months in that jungle. Seven months in that op. Seven months keeping warm together as the rains came. Seven months till his seed took root and I swore to give "Hellfire" up. At some point, the op had soured in London and in Washington. We were not declared expendable. We were declared belligerents and offered up as appeasement. I lost the two men I loved more than anything in my life in that attack...but I picked myself up out of the smoldering embers and continued the mission. I tell you all of this, young Malfoid, because there will come a time in your life that seems insurmountable but you cannot allow yourself to lose focus and sight of what is important. Do not sulk and suffer in rage and revenge. You cannot let it become personal, even if it is personal. I also tell you this because there's no harm as all others involved have been killed."
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WelperHelper99 said:
Some people just want to be bitter. They have grown old, not just in body, but in soul. They threw their toys away, but acted like nobody would ever pick them back up. Spiritual boomer mindset.
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I would pay to see someone melting down over Malfoid get replies like "Why is this upsetting you so much? I thought you lot hated Harry Potter now and gave up on the fandom because of Rowling? So why do you care if other people still enjoy it and are making up new fanfics about it? How does this affect you in any way? Just ignore it and go find something you enjoy. MALFOID WASN'T MADE FOR YOU!" and all the other smug comments Lefties have been making anytime someone complains about modern audience faggot and tranny shit in video games, movies, comics, etc. See them absolutely lose their shit when their own words and tactics are used against them.

Mr. Racewar1488 said:
What if the JFK conspiracy wasn't about who really killed him but that the Magic Bullet was actually magic!
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I mean, American wizards mixing firearms with magic would absolutely be on brand. As a proud American, guns are part of my religion.
 
Chiang Kai-shek said:
Minerva “Set the asians a blazing” McGonagall
Minerva “Gook Spook” McGonagall
Minerva “No rice for you” McGonagall
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"Mad" Minerva McGonagall
"Professor Napalm-em-all"

"You know why they call her Mc-GONE-a-GALL, Harry? Her specialty was sneaking into the Red base camps at night, forty miles deep into the jungle Harry, and removing their gall bladders without a sound..."
 
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