US Man, 70, Peed On Spam, Vienna Sausages - Retiree accused of $10K contamination at Sam's Club

Man, 70, Peed On Spam, Vienna Sausages​


Retiree accused of $10K contamination at Sam's Club

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A Sam’s Club outlet had to destroy more than $10,500 worth of Spam and Vienna sausages after a 70-year-old man urinated on two pallets of the canned goods, Florida police allege.

Cops charge that a witness spotted Patrick Mitchell relieving himself in “in aisle 18 at Sam’s Club” in Lady Lake, an Orlando-area town. The witness “used her cellphone to take a picture of the

defendant and reported the incident to store employees,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

Sam’s Club managers reviewed surveillance footage and spotted a man walking up to the pallets and placing “both hands in front of him below belt line, and stood there for several seconds,” reported Detective Ronnie Williams. “Behavior consistent with urination.”

Upon inspecting the area, workers “confirmed that there was urine on two pallets” containing about 188 bulk units of Vienna sausages and “345 units of 8 count canned Spam Classic.” The merchandise had been “contaminated with bodily fluids requiring them to be discarded,” the affidavit noted.

The combined value of the products was $10,584.54, cops say.

Investigators charge that after Mitchell (seen above) urinated on the canned goods, he was recorded strolling around the snack section and sitting on patio furniture for about 10 minutes. He then “walked to register #2, paid for his items and left the store.”

Records from “Sam’s Club member portal” identified Mitchell as the suspect, since “all customers have to provide their membership card to a cashier prior to purchasing items while at a point of sale.” Additionally, a comparison of Mitchell’s driver’s license photo with the image taken by the female witness resulted in a positive identification, cops report.

Mitchell was subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. The latter count is considered a felony since the alleged damage exceeded $1000. Mitchell, who yesterday pleaded not guilty to the charges, is free on $3000 bond in advance of his June 30 arraignment.

Mitchell was busted at his home in The Villages, one of two properties he owns with his wife in the retirement community dubbed “Florida’s Friendliest Hometown.” He previously resided in New York, where he sold his Long Island home in December 2022 for $620,000.

Mitchell’s arrest was first reported by Villages-News.com, the premier source for coverage of The Villages and its environs.

Source: The Smoking Gun

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Florida Man Sees Vienna Sausage, Feels Sexually Inadequate
 
Just hose them down nigga.

They're already sealed up, just wash them and move on.
While I agree, you can't if you want to avoid a lawsuit. Theres an absolute metric fuck ton of waste in the food industry and medical industry because of how strict contamination based regulations are. Any kind of bodily fluids are an automatic disposal, sealed or not.
 
Florida Man Sees Vienna Sausage, Feels Sexually Inadequate
New York man living in Florida, you mean.

And why does a little human pee on the outside of the cans require their disposal? If you saw the animal parts that go into processed canned meat you’d probably find the pee more appetizing.
 
It's hardly surprising, is it? Moving to a Florida retirement community is a strong indicator that you've given up on life and moved to a facility for the walking dead.

He probably thought he had no need to attempt to control his bladder.

"I'm 70 now. I piss where I like. Fuck those young whippersnappers who have to clean up after me. They should be happy to clean up their piss on their minimum wage jobs, while they live rent-free in mom's house because apartments are no longer affordable for anybody who hasn't inherited money."

Boomers like this are the best argument for making euthanasia compulsory. Move the wealth along, fast.
 
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